AA and spirituality

[faceking]

dannymawg,
I have had two very dear and close friends join AA. On both occasions I attended meetings with them and read the Big Book. One of them was quite agnostic, and the other one was religious, but a recovering fundamentalist.

Over long discussions with both of them, and as deep into Christianity as I believe I am, I have thought about AA, spirituality and Christianity for a long time.

I find that both AA and mainstream Christianity have a lot of similarity, as both of them have the same healing message about accepting your brokenness, and acknowledging that your brokenness is something that is inevitable (addicted or not). That acknowledgement is not a giving up. What it is is an antidote to the destructive notion that every aspect of your being is totally under your own control.

If you labor under the illusion that every aspect of your being is under your control, you have no choice but to consider yourself totally responsible for any of your failures and to judge yourself unworthy when they occur. This self-blame for every single failure leads ultimately to shame, which is probably the most destructive emotional force contributing to problems like addiction and depression.

Total self-blame leads an addict to the notion that curing the addiction is all about personal choices and will power and nothing else. Christian fundamentalists also think this is true about themselves, their faith in Christ and avoiding sin. Both the addict and the fundamentalist Christian who thinks it is all about total self-control sets themselves up for a boatload of shame and self-loathing when their actions do not live up to their standards. In summary, for both the addict and the fundamentalist Christian, they have set themselves up for failure and the failure leads to shame, which ultimately makes their situation worse.

On the other hand both mainstream Christianity and AA preach a truer message that is probably the most helpful and healing one for an addict or a depressed person. The message is that you cannot possibly be responsible for every aspect of your behavior and your actions. It is physically and mentally impossible to always make the right choices and always resist what you think you need to resist (sin or dangerous addictive substances).

Mainstream Christianity teaches something that is analogous to what AA teaches, that humans are somewhat bonded to do things that Christianity would consider sinful (like hurt themselves or others). AA teaches that (and medical science backs it up completely) that humans have different propensities to become addicted to certain substances, and that propensity is beyond their control. Similarly, their addiction makes them hurt themselves and others.

When AA says that you must rely on a "higher power", to help recover from your addiction, they are echoing what a mainstream Christian would say about "repenting", which for a mainstream Christian means to "rethink" your life under your new understanding that you are a somewhat flawed and broken organism, and you need the help of a higher power to keep you from hurting yourself and others.

Another similarity between AA and mainstream Christianity is the notion of a community of believers. Mainstream theology stresses the notion that God's influence on our lives is mediated through your relationship with others and not as much a private matter between you and God. AA also stresses that the community and fellowship of fellow addicts will be the most powerful force for your healing. In other words, they both would say that the community's power to heal you is far stronger than your own choice making or your own force of will.

So, in summary, both bodies of belief are saying that total self-reliance is a myth, therefore, you are forgiven for not having the strength of will to completely control your behavior by yourself. If you can recognize this and truly believe it, you can relieve yourself of the awful and destructive burden of guilt that comes with failure in respect to total self-reliance.

I believe that anyone can go to AA and reap the benefits of it whether you are deeply religious or agnostic. All you have to do is forgive yourself for being human and therefore flawed and somewhat broken somehow, rethink your guilt, shame, and sense of failure so you rid yourself of the myth of complete self-reliance and the awful burden that it is all completely up to you. Once you can completely accept that, you will be free to accept the help of the AA community of wounded healers.

Whether you think that it is God being mediated through the community or human compassion and fellowship that is being mediated through the community might not matter. Either one is a "higher power" in respect to your own (and everyone's for that matter) limited ability to be completely self-reliant.

Go to AA. It has saved the lives of two very dear friends of mine.

Post of the week, given the final line.

:reporter::reporter::reporter::reporter::reporter:

 

[dannymawg]

I was gonna write a big long post, and answer everybody's PMs...

but all I know is this: if you are following this thread, dig up the song "I Wish I Was" by the Twilight Singers. Sorry but there's no handy video link.

This song consistently gives me the willies way more so than thinkin bout God's will...



strings of your death
tied to your breath
all that's been seen
cannot be unseen
unless

deeper you fall
the places you crawl
to find you're unclean, unsaved
defeated
by self and no one else, my love

tongue tied, obsessed
mesmerized
I acquiesce
and step into the machine
again
don't breathe, don't tell
my belle, listen

deep in the garden
I wait for you now
under the weight of
the leaves that
do bend on the bough
come save me



Understand the non sequiturs now, Jason?

and Earl: give me a day or two to respond. Tongue tied for now.

 

[ActionBuddy]

Hey Danny... I'm not going to enter the fray here... I just want to congratulate you on your awakening. It's a beginning! Stop dredging up the negatives of Religions and allow your mind and body the time and healing it takes to allow self accepting thoughts... give it time, Bro!

I do not want to argue with anyone in this thread. It is a very personal journey. I'm here for you, if you need a listening ear.

Happy Trails!

Onan

 

[simcha]

I was gonna write a big long post, and answer everybody's PMs...

but all I know is this: if you are following this thread, dig up the song "I Wish I Was" by the Twilight Singers. Sorry but there's no handy video link.

This song consistently gives me the willies way more so than thinkin bout God's will...



strings of your death
tied to your breath
all that's been seen
cannot be unseen
unless

deeper you fall
the places you crawl
to find you're unclean, unsaved
defeated
by self and no one else, my love

tongue tied, obsessed
mesmerized
I acquiesce
and step into the machine
again
don't breathe, don't tell
my belle, listen

deep in the garden
I wait for you now
under the weight of
the leaves that
do bend on the bough
come save me



Understand the non sequiturs now, Jason?

and Earl: give me a day or two to respond. Tongue tied for now.

Wow, I get it.... Take care of yourself, dude... Simcha (a.k.a. Jason)