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The Bachelor’s Virginity Obsession Isn’t Just Tacky — It’s Dangerous
Yawn. Another season of The Bachelor has begun, with the only mystery being what corny, concocted storyline can they come-up with that prevents viewers from fleeing to a zillion other cable channels with more interesting content. This season someone must have dug deep into the bag of bachelor qualities to come-up with a candidate with strangely similar characteristics to the deeply religious, virtuous, noble, and very virginal Tim Tebow. I wouldn't put it past the producers at ABC to have gone to Tebow himself, groveled and begged for him to star in this TV pseudo-soap opera. Unfortunately St. Tebow was too busy striving to achieve a lofty 220 batting average in double-A baseball.
So pinch hitting for Tim Tebow is Colton Underwood, also 6' 3" and an ex-collegiate football player who never made it onto the field in the NFL. And like the gridiron great from the Sunshine State he has resisted the temptations of the flesh when it comes to the opposite sex. Significantly, he is not above showing his heart on his sleeve, including crying.
At least Tebow blubbered and cried before a nationwide TV audience when he lost an important SEC title game as the Gator's quarterback. In an ABC preview Underwood could be seen fleeing from a flock of beautiful women, escaping by hopping over a six-foot fence. He sure has kept in-shape; if this gig fails he could always apply to a local police department.
As fate would have it I'm wired hopelessly heterosexual, though I have several relatives who are gay. I don't have what is known as a finely-tuned "gaydar" sixth-sense. But my hunch is this Bachelor season will revolve around the entire female cast attempting to see if they can arouse even a hint of an erection from this finely- tuned athlete. Already in the first episode it has (er) popped-up in conversation between the contestants and Colton. What must be racing through their collective minds? Is he saving himself for the right woman? A few must surely be thinking "what if he's all muscle and no meat?" I'll go out on a limb and predict that by the final episode if one of these seductresses can't reach the promised land-- in the sack or hot tub-- there will be whispers and/or screams of gay-gay-gay resounding throughout the L.A. basin.
What say we?
Yawn. Another season of The Bachelor has begun, with the only mystery being what corny, concocted storyline can they come-up with that prevents viewers from fleeing to a zillion other cable channels with more interesting content. This season someone must have dug deep into the bag of bachelor qualities to come-up with a candidate with strangely similar characteristics to the deeply religious, virtuous, noble, and very virginal Tim Tebow. I wouldn't put it past the producers at ABC to have gone to Tebow himself, groveled and begged for him to star in this TV pseudo-soap opera. Unfortunately St. Tebow was too busy striving to achieve a lofty 220 batting average in double-A baseball.
So pinch hitting for Tim Tebow is Colton Underwood, also 6' 3" and an ex-collegiate football player who never made it onto the field in the NFL. And like the gridiron great from the Sunshine State he has resisted the temptations of the flesh when it comes to the opposite sex. Significantly, he is not above showing his heart on his sleeve, including crying.
At least Tebow blubbered and cried before a nationwide TV audience when he lost an important SEC title game as the Gator's quarterback. In an ABC preview Underwood could be seen fleeing from a flock of beautiful women, escaping by hopping over a six-foot fence. He sure has kept in-shape; if this gig fails he could always apply to a local police department.As fate would have it I'm wired hopelessly heterosexual, though I have several relatives who are gay. I don't have what is known as a finely-tuned "gaydar" sixth-sense. But my hunch is this Bachelor season will revolve around the entire female cast attempting to see if they can arouse even a hint of an erection from this finely- tuned athlete. Already in the first episode it has (er) popped-up in conversation between the contestants and Colton. What must be racing through their collective minds? Is he saving himself for the right woman? A few must surely be thinking "what if he's all muscle and no meat?" I'll go out on a limb and predict that by the final episode if one of these seductresses can't reach the promised land-- in the sack or hot tub-- there will be whispers and/or screams of gay-gay-gay resounding throughout the L.A. basin.
What say we?
