About my virginity

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Joseph, Dec 27, 2007.

  1. Joseph

    Verified Gold Member

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    Ok before I start this long thing that hardly anyone will read fully...

    Anyhow it took me quite a long time to get to this point in my life...

    -noticing someone might love me- DONE, one girl was with me for some time, now we are just friends... didn't work out living 200 kilometers away from each other! But at least now I know some women might love me!

    -getting confidence about sexual orientation- DONE, also at last I am sure what my sexual orientation is... I do get turned on by both women and guys, but I wouldnt want to have a REAL relationship with a guy, I want to have a famiyl and live with a women!

    -trying gay sex and loosing virginity- NOT DONE, This is the thing I try to talk about!


    Anyhow I just really REALLY want to try gay sex before getting into a eternal relationship with a women... But it seems so unreachable... While you people talk about it as if it was something extremly easy!

    I heard of the stuff you guys... ahhh man... not only guys.... of you people... I heard your stories and they just amazed me!
    -people getting into the football team just for being BIG
    -friends jerking off together
    -stuff that happens in the lockerrooms

    When I heard that stuff for the first time, I was amazed!
    -here we never talk about the penis size, some bully might ine xtreme cases bully me around and joke I'm slow...
    -I even tried talking about "fuckin friend" type of relationship here ... I thought that since I'm talking to a gay guy.... but no, he was extremly against it... I was so amazed, he was not "nah that's not for me" he was extremly against it... it made me feel as if I was an asshole just cause I thought of it! It made me depressed for ceveral days!
    -I was in a few lockerrooms and none of the things people told me ever happened.... even an innocent slap with a towel on the ass would be extreme!

    I know that I shouldn't believe all those stories... but still... even if I cut the half of them since they are fake.... and more of them for happening in the 60s... the times of free love.... It still leaves so many true sex stories of the modern days! It just makes me so jelous!

    Well ok fine I see that I am EXTREMLY shy and I guess my country is 20 years back in time when it comes about the mentality... but it does make me jelous, that you people are so open and stuff.... I guess I may have a way too bright look at you... but I still kinda...


    Oh man I don't get it, now I feel suddenly ashamed and I wonder why I wrote this thread at all... I don't really expect anyone to write anything...
    Perhaps I should delete it.... nah I'll post it, took me ages to write it after all...
     
  2. Nekoman

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    Excelent thread start, really. First of all you're right not to believe half the stories you hear -- maybe more.. Anyway, I grew up in NY area in the time of free love and did not experience any of the openess you've read about. I'm sure it went on, but then and now things are not as out in public as they sound here sometimes. Sure alot of stuff really happens, but it's very possible to live one's life without being exposed to many things that are happening. I think the real key for you is the shyness. In love, as with other things in life, most things don't come to us, we must seek out the experiences we want, a little aggressively, assertively, with purpose. Have fun, but do go after what you want, don't wait for it to come to you. I don't know if it's the place where you live....but stuff happens practically everywhere. Good luck! I'm confident you'll get many responses.
     
  3. SurferGirlCA

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    Joseph, believe it or not, you don't have to have all the answers for yourself at your age. You may feel frustrated (not just sexually) and impatient but don't be hard on yourself. Based on what you've said here, I definitely think you need to allow yourself some time to figure out who you are and what you truly want moving forward in life. I think you are maybe pressuring yourself too much to have all the answers when you said you really need to try gay sex before you settle down into an "eternal relationship" (which almost sounds like a death sentence :wink:) with a woman.

    Your sexual orientation is one part of who you are, but it's a pretty big one. You shouldn't feel pressured to follow any particular path, whether it's based on all the "so open about sex" stories you read on here or the possibility that your country just isn't as progressive as other places are in the world. You're 20 years old, there is no clock ticking that demands you resolve these big issues overnight.

    Trust me, I really knew sooooooo very little about who I was and what I wanted, especially in terms of relationships, when I was your age. I know that might not offer much comfort as you try to work through things, but my advice would be to relax, take a deep breath, and just listen to your heart and try and discover what will make you happy in life. There's no guarantee for any of us in that regard, but at least then you're being true to yourself and that's one less regret in the long run.
     
  4. jack65

    jack65 New Member

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    Hello
    Joseph, mate don't worry so much about it all, when i was younger around 17 use to worry then one day i just said to my self "stuff it" and i just started being who is was then and before i knew it i had being in a small group that had group sex all the time even in parks,football fields, nude swimming in the creeks, rivers, though most of it is a blur now my point is that the chicks could tell when your worried and that puts them off most of the time,while i was never in to gay sex, while partaking in the group stuff there was times when two guys were in the same "spot" which never worried me.

    Mate take the advice of these guys/girls your still young don't push your self into something, just relax and have fun and you'll find what you like and what you don't.

    lastly, i meet my wife of over 20 something yrs when i was 18, i was not looking to settle down but when you meet the right person it happens until then be your self if that is a bit shy then fine people will want to be with you because they like that in you, and there are many people that do like that in others.
    Good luck.

    Thank You.


     
  5. alex8.5

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    You will in time figure out your preference for either men or women, possibly you'll prefer the company of both sexes sexually. You wrote "before I settle down eternally". Do not let people pressure you into a relationship you both may not be ready for. If your a gay man then be a happy one, if your a straight man be a happy one and if you happen to be bi-sexual, the same applies, just be happy and be the best possible man you can be. At some point you might just meet the right person and you'll know. That person could be male or female.

    That's just my opinion.
     
  6. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    In time everything will make sense. Maybe you need to move to somewhere else to experience it or looks for ads online to find gatherings of like minded people. Either way in time you will get to experiment with gay sex, you are young still and it may seem like waiting is much longer than it really is.
     
  7. gwr1349

    gwr1349 New Member

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    Just be yourself and the rest will come in time.
     
  8. Joseph

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    Thanks people... I kinda see I shouldnt behave like this.... still more time to time I like get the feeling that I need to rant about it!
     
  9. brinzaulsschwul

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    Hi Joseph

    I agree fully with SurferGirlCA she's very sensible- you got time - and don't jump into the first long term "relationship" that comes along - take your time - sort out your feelings FULLY.

    If you stuck in a small Polish town or village, Berlin might be an option for you - take a trip find a gay bar and have some fun - just don't forget to take condoms and water based lube with you!

    and Joseph you said " I kinda see I shouldnt behave like this.... " well I think you should, if in doubt seek advice - ask don't be shy, I wish I had had this sort of forum when I was 20.

    Brinz
     
  10. pavement

    pavement New Member

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    Well if you're seeking advice you could wonder why you do.
    If you are uncertain you could ask yourself why and if you should be.
    If your seeking answers or affirmation from others you could ponder why
    If you wish to believe what you are told you could inquire why

    but if you don't you could think about why


    I might just prefer to abbrev it to Y or y
     
  11. Bbucko

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    Or, if you save up enough cash, come to Ft Lauderdale. It's something of a gay mecca right now, and a 20-year-old Polish guy could easily take care of any "experience" problem.
     
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