Accidental Innuendo

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by rope9839, Apr 20, 2008.

  1. rope9839

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    Here was a good one from the other day. My girlfriend and I were walking through a big box hardware store and she was complaining about her hair. Right as a store employee walks around an aisle corner, she says "It's not just the length, its how thick it is that drives me crazy." The other lady literally stopped, looked at my girlfriend, looked at me, looked down at my crotch and started turning red before walking away.

    Anyone else got a funny story where a dick joke showed up outta nowhere in passing conversation?
     
  2. HamYai

    HamYai New Member

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    I recall myself and a buddy who were both on a promise with a couple of chicks, going into a pharmacy and I picked up a pack of large size condoms and walked to the counter - just as the guy serving left and a cheeky looking young hottie came from out back to take his place. I embarassedly handed her the condoms and a very large bill (£50). She must have been short of change in her cash box because she said "I can't take one that big. I need something smaller". She then turned to my pal and enquired "Do you have a smaller one?". We all looked at each other and I remember it was she who broke down in uncontrollable laughter, first. It was one of those situations where we were racked with pain from laughing, as she desperately tried to explain what had happened, to her sour-faced male manager that had returned to see what all the commotion was about.

    Woody Allen couldn't have scripted it any better.
     
  3. SpeedoMike

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    During a college math class the instructor passed out a surprise test as we all groaned. He smiled and chided that it was just one of his little "quizzies". A student sitting next to me muttered "if this is one of his little quizzies, I really don't wanna see how big his testees are.

    I choked!
     
  4. sdbg

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    Funny! I would have been the one who turned red!
     
  5. yhtang

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    Excellent! I had a good laugh on that!
     
  6. rope9839

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    I had a couple more - both from educational settings.

    First, a colleague of mine was teaching an engineering course on heat transfer, when he was trying to discuss conduction. He used an example of two steel rods, one long and one short. He asked the class if a flame was applied to each rod, which would be hotter after five minutes. One of the women in the class answered "I know what you are looking for here, but I have to say the long rod is always hotter." Needless to say, class chuckled and the instructor turned red.

    Another came when I was taking private Spanish lessons a few years ago at work. We had a rule that you spoke only Spanish once we came into the room. My instructor was a goodlooking Spanish ex pat. When I sat down she asked me how a project I told her about was going. I meant to say "I think its going well" (in spanish), but what I managed to say instead was "I am larger than you can believe." I didn't know what I had done until I looked it up after class.
     
  7. catman

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    Not so much as innuendo, but....

    Was at a holiday party- mutual friends, one woman KEPT staring at me/my crotch, none to subtly... Doing the bad over kill lines 'gee your wife must be very.....happy to have a MAN like you' etc...etc... I was flattered (as he was nice looking but...

    The wife, whose odd sense of humor was...well...odd..

    Finally in annoyance walked up, grabbed my crotch (to my shock and ....well) said "Yes, the 3 of us are very happy together...and it, like him- are BOTH going home with me..." then gave me a huge kiss (causing me to only get harder)....

    she then leaned over, smiled sweetly and said "got it hun"?

    Thought I was going to bust a gut over the womans face....
     
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