Accidental Innuendos

[rope9839]

Here's one I haven't seen before: Why not share some of the accidental innuendos that you have committed, overheard, etc.

For instance, I help coach a basketball team for 5th thru 7th grade girls. The other coach is a woman. What you may or may not know is women play with a smaller ball, though it is 50/50 if the girls bring a men's or women's ball to practice.

Anyway, tonight I picked up one ball and commented to the other coach "When you used to the smaller ball, the men's feels a lot bigger when you handle it." She responded, "yeah, that extra inch is a big deal if you aren't used to it." Then she looked at me and turned bright red. I just chuckled and started the next drill.

Anyone else got a good accidental reference?

 

[ClaireTalon]

Not actually an accidental one, more a catch phrase.

- "Got a hard-on, coupling it now" (unnamed pilot of a Pave Low III, via radio)
~ "Mmmhhhhaa..." (me)

 

[Ed69]

Shit I just did it, read this can you see it"first hand"!
http://www.lpsg.org/the-healthy-penis/35357-cum.html

 

[dolf250]

I ran equipment in a mine for quite awhile. When mud would get caked in the corners of the box on a haul truck you would head on over to the excavator and get it scratched out. Well, one day our GF asked Dot (a new woman, and I might add the ONLY woman) to head on over and “get her box scratched.” It was a common term prior to him realizing how bad it sounded when it was not a man you were talking to.

 

[mindseye]

I teach a geometry class, and one day in class last year, I was trying to construct the circumcenter of a triangle on the board -- except that my lines weren't meeting up the way they should. I figured out that my ruler had shifted while I was drawing one of the lines -- and muttered to the class while erasing and fixing it, "I'm not quite straight here."

Alison, in the fifth row, snorted loudly, and pretty soon everyone around her caught the innuendo.

 

[SomeGuyOverThere]

Playing manopoly (this is a weird one), a firend of mine landed on my hotel and went bankrupt.

In my mind, this meant that the staff of my hotel would come and take all her money away. What dribbled out of my mouth was:

"Oh, now you're buggered, buggerd by my staff!"

 

[Fire Stick]

I was once chatting with a woman at work about nicknames or pet names that we were, or had been, called by from friends or significant others. This was a conversation in the office, with someone who I know professionally, not socially, so it was not racy or suggestive. I confided that, at times, I am called “Tigger.” When she asked why, I told her – quite innocently – that it was because “I was big, bouncy, orange, and loads of fun.” I don’t think it was intentional on her part, but for a moment, she got an odd look on her face and her eyes cut down to my crotch. I think I blushed.

 

[Gillette]

Coworker praised for a good idea "That's thinking outside the box".

His reply "I always think outside the box!"

I must have been smiling too loudly because he turned to me and told me to shut up.

He's gay.

 

[karmen]

I'm not sure if this would be considered an accident or just happenstance.

Whenever, I am flirting with someone and they buy me a drink, I always say, "Thank you for the cock-tail". Emphasis on the cock.

It always cracks me up and it's just so playful and convenient. Hey, I didn't invent the word. LOL. :biggrin1:

Of course, if he's already a lover, I get to throw in a wink and a little growl.

Hugs and Kisses,

Sweet Karmen

 

[B_gagger]

I was emailing (chatting) a friend at work yesterday (she's the flirtaceous type), and I accidentally typed "stff members" at one point. She used to be an english teacher and of course spotted the typo right away. She replied by pointing out my mistake and asking me if "i" had one.

 

[dreamer20]

When I was ~11 I had to read aloud from a textbook in biology class.
I read a sentence containing the word "organisms", but said the word
"orgasms" instead. I knew I had made a pronunciation error and repeated the sentence correctly. I didn't know what orgasms were at that age, but the mistake made the teacher and some students smile.

 

[Lordpendragon]

This guy is our master of the double entendre.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWzJmDggNmw