- Joined
- Jul 25, 2007
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- Male
Did your life so far go according to plan?
Are you happy with how things turned out for you?
Are you the best you that you could be?
I wonder how many of us reach a point in life were you stop and take stock of where you've come from, where you're heading, your life in general and think, yep, this is exactly as I planned it.
I'm not sure I could say yes to any of the above.
With an exception of a handful of life changing events that I hope I helped introduce to my life, none of it was planned, at all it seems.
By now, I thought I would be married with children and a dog, own my own home and have a spectacular job that paid a shit load of money and all in the town I grew up in. At least that was the social imprinted and expected template of life that I thought I had to ad hear to as I was growing up.
A template punctuated by mile stones that everyone expects of you in life. A girlfriend, loose your virginity, a string of girlfriends, a group of close male friends, beer and sports, a wild 18th birthday party, topped only by your 21st birthday party, a steady girlfriend, university, a great job, an engagement, a stag night, being a best man for your closest friend, the big promotion at work, getting married, having children, buying your own hope, ect ect.
None of that happened, not for me, and as a younger man growing up, it was a hell of a shock when your life isn't as socially expected and planned, more so when it seems to be happening for those around you.
It turns out my life took a path that there was just not a plan for and it amazes me just how men cope with an almost sense of betrayal when we have to come to terms with who we become, outside of the social and cultural expectations of our families, our peers.
Am I jealous of men that have the stereotypical heterosexual male life, I kinda am, yes.
My life so far has really felt like hard work, emotional pain, missed out, left out and just unforfilled. Don't get me wrong, I've achieved a lot, done a lot, come a long way emotionally and personally and done reasonably well, and 8 times out of 10 a happy with the unexpected journey of my life.
But don't you ever wonder, what am I doing? What's next? Where am I going? It's seems still so much clearer for the stereotypical heterosexual man than for the gay guy whose life never followed the conventional milestones of your average joe.
I wonder...
Are you happy with how things turned out for you?
Are you the best you that you could be?
I wonder how many of us reach a point in life were you stop and take stock of where you've come from, where you're heading, your life in general and think, yep, this is exactly as I planned it.
I'm not sure I could say yes to any of the above.
With an exception of a handful of life changing events that I hope I helped introduce to my life, none of it was planned, at all it seems.
By now, I thought I would be married with children and a dog, own my own home and have a spectacular job that paid a shit load of money and all in the town I grew up in. At least that was the social imprinted and expected template of life that I thought I had to ad hear to as I was growing up.
A template punctuated by mile stones that everyone expects of you in life. A girlfriend, loose your virginity, a string of girlfriends, a group of close male friends, beer and sports, a wild 18th birthday party, topped only by your 21st birthday party, a steady girlfriend, university, a great job, an engagement, a stag night, being a best man for your closest friend, the big promotion at work, getting married, having children, buying your own hope, ect ect.
None of that happened, not for me, and as a younger man growing up, it was a hell of a shock when your life isn't as socially expected and planned, more so when it seems to be happening for those around you.
It turns out my life took a path that there was just not a plan for and it amazes me just how men cope with an almost sense of betrayal when we have to come to terms with who we become, outside of the social and cultural expectations of our families, our peers.
Am I jealous of men that have the stereotypical heterosexual male life, I kinda am, yes.
My life so far has really felt like hard work, emotional pain, missed out, left out and just unforfilled. Don't get me wrong, I've achieved a lot, done a lot, come a long way emotionally and personally and done reasonably well, and 8 times out of 10 a happy with the unexpected journey of my life.
But don't you ever wonder, what am I doing? What's next? Where am I going? It's seems still so much clearer for the stereotypical heterosexual man than for the gay guy whose life never followed the conventional milestones of your average joe.
I wonder...