acheiving orgasm?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Imported, Sep 12, 2003.

  1. Imported

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    Going4Seven: Hey ladies,
    I was wondering if there were any of you out there that do not acheive orgasm fom sex? My girlfriend cannot seem to have an orgasm from sex but can have an orgasm from oral. this concerns me because I have tried everything to help her acheive one but nothing has worked. Are there any others out there that have similar problems like my girlfriend. Also, any ideas thatcould help me out?
    this has also become a problem by us getting into fights on how she never gets to cum while i do and that is why she doesn't want to have sex often. I have to give her oral sex everytime until she cums before we can have sex, but once i get going, she likes that and wants more, but then never orgasms from it.. what am i doing wrong? ??? :'(
     
  2. Imported

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    AnonyMs: It is difficult for some women to orgasm from vaginal intercourse only. It sounds as though your girlfriend is one of those. You might try different positions that allow her clitoris to be stimulated at the same time and see if that helps.

     
  3. Imported

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    Maximillian: You could also try different thrusting tempos, rotating your hips in a circular motion, play with her nipples, reach down between and stimulate her clit, brush your body against hers more, try to involve other senses and bring focus from the junction of the bodies. Some females need more to achieve a vaginal orgasm than just vaginal stimulation. Sex should be a feast of the senses and not focused on one thing, the orgasm.

    Also, you should never fight with her about the inablility to have a vaginal orgasm, that will only make her tenser, instead be understanding and work past this. Be the lover she needs to achieve this and she will worship you. Besides, there is no rule that says both have to cum at the same time, the bottom line is that both enjoyed it.

    Good luck getting past this and remember, patience is whats needed.

    Maximillian
     
  4. Imported

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    sammygirly: I've got nothing to add to that....listen to Him! ;D ;D ;D
     
  5. jdoe86

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    The girl I am seeing now has no problem having an orgasm with me. I have her ride me "cowgirl" and she squirts till she soaks the bed and then has a big, hard orgasm that leaves her limp. I just happen to hit the right spots inside and the grind of our pubic bones rubs her clitoris just right. The other guys she fucks give her orgasms only from oral. (we are both swingers and not exclusive to eachother, but we are regular partners--3 times a week together).
     
  6. Imported

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    sudas: It's a good sign that she can achieve orgasm through oral sex with you. You should have a good chance of exploring sex to find out how she can orgasm in other ways like intercourse or rubbing her clit against you, or using your (or her) hand on it.

    I've heard from some women who can't or won't allow themselves to experience orgasm, and refuse to be pleasured orally. They might not want to risk being out of control. Also since G-spot stimulation may make women feel like they have to pee, they won't let the orgasm happen. Not to mention some women haven't heard about the possibility of female ejaculation.

    In one version of nymphomania, the woman has a frequent desire for sex, but no orgasmic release. The result may be to seek a (different) man for sex everyday. A woman on a blind-date show said she didn't orgasm, but needed sex with a man every day to deal with her arousal (or horniness).
     
  7. Imported

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    wvalady1968: [quote author=sammygirly link=board=women;num=1063397905;start=0#3 date=09/12/03 at 14:49:47]I've got nothing to add to that....listen to Him!  ;D  ;D  ;D[/quote]

    "Sex should be a feast of the senses and not focused on one thing, the orgasm.

    Also, you should never fight with her about the inablility to have a vaginal orgasm, that will only make her tenser, instead be understanding and work past this. Be the lover she needs to achieve this and she will worship you. Besides, there is no rule that says both have to cum at the same time, the bottom line is that both enjoyed it."

    SO true!

    Sammy is a lucky girly! ;)
     
  8. Imported

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    sammygirly: Yes, yes I am!
     
  9. Imported

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    TechnoTed: Hey ol' buddy, TechnoTed from another forum. Give this a try. When in bed and facing each other, start giving her a gentle backrub while telling her how much you love her. Gently nuzzle her face and begin giving her light kisses, working up into those hot french kisses. :-* Place her hand on your genitals and take your time. Using the best lube (ID Millenium. The famous porn star Ginger Lynn, said foreplay without lube is no foreplay at all :eek:), gently begin massaging her pussy on the lips and clit (not to deep). Keep this up until (hopefully) you have good sex together. While still facing each other and if you have the length and a good hard-on, lube up your cock and slip into her pussy while continuing the deep french kissing. :-* This should show her you care for her, not just for sex but for who she is. ;)
    Very important: After having sex, always have an afterglow together, holding each other close together until she is ready to get up. Don't forget to tell her how you love being with only her and how sexy she is. Works for me. :) Good Times.
     
  10. Imported

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    cinnimoneyes: If I am pregnant it is mission imposible. if i am not pregnant it is easier.
     
  11. Imported

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    OreoLover: ok... i'm going to be honest here... sadly, i fit into that category :-[

    As much as I enjoy sex, I can't seem to cum from vaginal stimulation, and sometimes i can't from oral either. One thing men tend to forget is that with women, an orgasm is not always achievalbe and it is not as easy for women as it is for males. For most women, we have to be totally and completly relaxed, no stress, no worries, blah, blah, blah (ok... maybe NO is a big word, but very little--how's that).

    I've never had anyone hit the G spot--I SWEAR IT DOESN'T EXIST (lol) and mastrubation is out of the pic (i hate it). Sometimes I find myself frustrated and not wanting or having sex for very, very long periods of time. This is partly why I don't initiate it much either.

    My advice would be not to fight with her about it, but let her know that you really care for her as a person and try to get her to understand that you are open to new positions and ideas (if you are) to help her. Have her ask some of her friends if they have any suggestions and see what they say.
     
  12. Imported

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    wvalady1968: OL and others:

    We ladies are often so messed up by the convoluted way we're raised. I was never so convinced of this as when I read the threads these guys wrote on masturbation. The attitudes re masturbation are so different for the sexes.

    How CAN any girl relax and simply enjoy sex and orgasm after being told the whole time that they were growing up that we're not to think about it or touch ourselves, etc? No wonder so many women cannot be warmed up with a blow torch!

    It's helped me so much to have a guy who's
    1. determined that I enjoy sex as much as possible
    2. delighted by things that I want to do but was sure were too kinky for a "lady" [i.e. mutual masturbation, oral sex]
    3. encourages me to experiment
    4. doesn't seem to see the imperfections I worry about in my body

    I didn't know that I wasn't fully alive before...that there was a whole other dimension to life that I was unaware of! I want to spead the word so every woman will learn to be all that they should be.

    Find an online resource that tells you how to masturbate to orgasm and lock the bedroom or bathroom door and try. Be patient. Buy a vibrator and experiment.

    I, like many women, seldom can have a vaginal orgasm unless I've had a clitoral one first, and even then, we have to do it doggy style. If we hadn't experimented, I'd never have known that! I never had an orgasm while making love until very recently.

    Find out what works for you. The joy and extreme intimacy with your lover is incredibly worth it!!

    I hope this helps someone.  :-*
     
  13. Imported

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    AnonyMs: ..
     
  14. Imported

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    Going4Seven: Hey Ladies,
    Just thought I'd add another post over here. I was over at my girlfriends house last night and she started telling me the she wanted me inside her. Foreplay talk mostly... So I started rubbing her clit and fingering her to get her juices going etc. and then we finally started having sex. A couple minutes into it I got up and got a condom on and started off again. When I started up again, she was like, "just hurry up" and "how much longer till you cum" I was like, WTF! this is suppose to be good for the both of us and if you don't like something or you want something, then open yor damn mouth and say something! (I din't say t exactly like tht to her but you get the point.) She said she didn't like it and she coldn't enjoy it because of the people downstairs. She also likes it hard and fast but doesn't like it slow at all... Mabe this was why... But I went hard anyways and she liked it but just didn't say anything. I was watching her the whole time and she looked the same way as she does when she screams... So basicaly I got off and she didn't and then she wouldn't even let me try and finish her off orally afterwards. I started too and she told me to stop and just forget it. She rolld over and that was the end. The thing that pisses me off the most is that she told me that she can never get off and that my dick can't satisfy her. Seriously, that was some hard shit to hear... since we've been having sex for roughly a year now. This seriously tears me up inside like... oh great, now i'll never be able to please any woman if I can't do this with her. what is gong on here? am i doomed never to be able to plaese her... or any woman?


    [glow=red,2,300]SEVEN[/glow]
     
  15. Imported

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    Tender: well seven i would have to say that it sounds like maybe there is something more going on here than just a sex thing of itself.
    why would she wait a year to tell you she isnt satisfied? why would she be in a rude way like that to you? doesnt sound very loving at all toward you. :(
    her loss. i dont see that you did anything wrong.

    the only thing here i caught was this...

    ***A couple minutes into it I got up and got a condom on and started off again. When I started up again, she was like, "just hurry up"***

    maybe she was very much close, and then when you stopped, she 'lost' it, and well, that sort of ruins it sometimes....
    some women are more Up and DoWn....
    a guy can stop for a short time and quickly resume where he left off -- hope that makes sense? :-/

    blaming her yucky respose to you on the people downstairs, well that is a lousy excuse. she cares about them, more than making love to you? hmmmm, all sounds fishy to me. ???

    your gf needs to realize that it just might not be YOUR fault or the fault of your DICK :-[ that SHE cant go.
    this is something you BOTH have to work on positively together, her blaming you, well thats not going to help anything.
    but maybe youve seen some of her truer colors. ;)

    :-*
    Tender
     
  16. Imported

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    Shaolin: I had a similar experience, but it was the other way around.  I hadn't even frenchkissed before, but the first girl I got sexual with, I was able to get her off manually(never went down on her the whole relationship...funkiness).  Even though she had been with women and a guy that was bigger than me, I was the one to open the floodgates, so to speak.  It wasn't easy at first, but over time I was able to make her come at will, during foreplay and intercourse.  The problem was that she couldn't get me off, which made her very upset.  She gave simply amazing head, and I felt like I was going to, but never did.  I can get my self off whenever I want, but it took 4 girls after her to finally do it for me, and the sex wasn't even that great.  

    It may take a while, but if you work at it, there is hope.  Try working several areas at once.  That's what worked on the first girl, and the last one(opened her floodgates too).

    If that doesn't work, when she's close, tickle her. Can't hold back if you can't control yourself.
     
  17. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: if you work on it, you can orgasm from any part of the body....... i have trained myelf to cum by only rubbing my nose........ came in handy when i got bored after finishing the ACT early! :eek:
     
  18. Imported

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    AnonyMs: so da_bliss: what happens when you have a cold? :eek:
     
  19. Imported

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    da_blissmachine: oh my those are fun days
     
  20. Imported

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    awellhungboi: If you can read a woman's signals, and are paying attention to her and her body while you're making love then you can help her achieve orgasm. It seems that women usually build up to a sort of arousal plateau, and when they're at that state, close but not quite there, usually any sensual stimulation can help push her over the edge. It depends on the woman, and your knowing what she enjoys and the most sensitive parts of her body, but a perfectly timed kiss, or biting one of her erogenous zones, pinching, scratching, or a well-timed slap on the butt (if she likes that sort of thing), can do it. Or, even as Shaolin says, tickling. It won't make her cum per se, but such unexpected stimulation can propel her much closer. So the best thing, for me at least, would be just to explore each other's bodies, get to know each other's likes and dislikes, relax and have fun.

    I used to date this wonderful woman, and we had a really good sex life. She told me right off the bat though that she had been date-raped when she was sixteen, and that she couldn't have an orgasm. She was a very sexual person otherwise, and she was great in bed. One afternoon we made love and after she said, "Guess what." "What?" "I had an orgasm. A little one. But it was there." I was thrilled. I hugged her and told her how great that was. I had just tried to pay attention to her, and it worked. She started cumming regularly. I was honored and touched, really, that she had started feeling comfortable enough around me, and trusted me enough, for that to happen.

    Then she went away to pursue her acting career. I miss her.
     
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