acheiving orgasm?

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aussiechick63: I am also one of those females that have never achieved a vaginal orgasm. I don't know if I am even able to. I don't let it worry me. I think if it's meant to happen it will. I do have great clitoral orgasms though.
It's best if the two of you don't stress out. As has already been said this will only tense her up more and make it even harder for her to orgasm.

Seven I'm sorry but that was just plain rude what she did to you. I don't think it was the issue at hand either. I'm sure if you delve intoit you will find other issues there.

 

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rainfletcher: Going4Seven,

I just went back and read you follow-up post. Unbelievable. DO NOT take that shit to heart. The issues are clearly with her, and have nothing to do with you. It appears (based on your two posts) that you are a considerate and unselfish lover, and the ladies on this board can speak to how highly this is prized in men. I think it's generally favorable. ;D

She also sounds like a friend of mine. This friend was molested early in life, and has never been able to find any pleasure from penetrative sex. Instead, she is always looking for rougher and harder sex. Slow, gentle sex does nothing for her. But you have to realize, for my friend, sex is not a loving, pleasuring act. It's angry. She is always looking for the biggest dick she can find to pound her as hard as possible. An average sized dick on a man who loves her would not really be of much interest to her. That's not what she's looking for.

It sure as hell sounds like she doesn't love you, man. If she did, she'd act very differently.

Good luck,

Rain

 

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Savannah: One possible solution that wasn't discussed was super sensitivity. Especially, if you are big. There are times when the warmup should start with featherlight touches, otherwise nerve endings go numb quickly. Try a lot of lube and a slow start. As thing build, the pressure increases and the responses come naturally.

Savannah

 

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roedhunt: I have a couple of suggestions...

Read up on a womans body, find out what the most common method for a womans arousal is.. Then ask her if she agrees. Basically... TALK about it.... Remember, most men loves the visual.. women loves the mental.. Thats why theres porn books/videos for men.. and books for women...

If she isnt completely relaxed... thats another problem. Unlike men, women need total privacy. Try soft music (no words.. that will distract her) and soft lighting... Let her mind wander.. Deep into fantasy... Also try acting one of HER fantasies.. The most common, is sex with a stranger. Blindfold her, then slowly strip her. Let her naked body feel your clothed body.... The whole idea here is to NOT go to the end zone.. (ie clitoris). Drive her crazy by teasing... That is the ultimate turn on!

And to the women out there who have problems with orgasms and masturbation... add another to your list... Its not that I dont enjoy orgasms.. I just dont enjoy masturbating... I can go for months without. Its just not on the top of the "to do" list... And yes, I have all the equipment, the help books....I just cant get excited about it. I think about other things I'd like to do... Watching movies, sleeping, shopping...... Masturbating just does not pop in my head...

 

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munchkin: I've got to say that I had sex for seven years without ever achieving orgasm. When I met my fiance, I let him know from the start that my not achieving orgasm has nothing to do with him and that it was impossible for it to happen, or so I thought. Well he tried still, but to no avail. Then we began to explore different things and guess what, I found what worked for me. I need to rub my clit during sex with my finger or a vibrator and then I have numerous orgasms. I've had up to at least 10 orgasms back to back and the strong ones too. Since then, I have orgasms every single time we have had sex and I am glad that I did not close my mind to the possibility of me achieving orgasm. It turns out that I do have a g-spot, but that it cannot be stimulated until my clitoris is stimulated. So the rubbing stimulates my clit and then when my fiance finds the g-spot through penetration, slowly but surely, I will orgasm. I have heard that 70% of women need clitoral stimulation and only 30% can orgasm just through vaginal stimulation alone. That is the majority of women that need clit stimulation. Only not enough women know so they think that there is something wrong with them, like that they have no g-spot. Well they do, but like mine, it cannot become aroused until the clit is stimulated. So ladies with this problem, try doing what I did and see if it works. If not, don't give up, keep trying different positions and different rhythms and paces until you can orgasm.

Seven, I think your gf is very insensitive and her comments on you not pleasing her stems more from her not knowing her own body and feeling insecure than you not knowing what you are doing. There will be women you can please, but I think that it is a woman's job to explore her own sexuality and to learn about her own body so that she can guide her partner during sex. That way, the guy won't feel lost or won't be doing stuff for a long time that does nothing for her. After figuring out what works for me, I tell my fiance, "slower, stay there, perfect, keep going" or "to the left or to the right" etc. I guide him so that he can follow through and help me achieve orgasm. So don't feel bad, seven. Her not being pleased is more her fault than yours b/c you tried to please her but she herself did not know what works for her.