Adoption

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by earllogjam, Aug 20, 2009.

  1. earllogjam

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    Do kids who are adopted once they are told, ever get over the fact that their biological parents didn't want them or gave them up to complete strangers?

    Is the feeling of being rejected by their biological mother a mortal wound for the psyche, a lifelong emptiness? Do they overcompensate for the fact that they were adopted?

    An emptiness similar to losing one of your parents to suicide? A feeling deep inside that you were unwanted?

    Are biological parent/child relations stronger than non-blood parent/child relations?
     
  2. Principessa

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    Gosh, I would think the reactions/answers would be as varied as the answer to what makes a beautiful penis. :rolleyes::confused:

    I'm curious, why do you ask? Have you recently found out you are adopted? Or are you planning to adopt and hoping to not traumatize the child by having him find out on the playground?
     
  3. Iceman2215

    Iceman2215 New Member

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    Hi earllogjam

    I do think that no matter what, most people would feel a sort of abandonment!! My wife for instance, her father left when she was born. And I know she has a deep feeling or longing to find him. I good friend of mine was adopted and she looked for her biological mom for years. It was one of those reunions that you only see in the movies....You know where she was too young to look after her and also has been trying to find her and finally they managed to track each other down.
    I personally feel it doesn’t matter how wonderful the adopted family is....there will always be, deep inside a longing to find your biological family.
    IMHO
     
  4. Puntie

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    I was adopted and found out when I was about five or so. I have never felt like i was abandoned. Why would I? I was adopted by my wonderful parents who gave me a better life than my biological mother could have done on her own at her age.
     
  5. duplo

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    ooh man Your so wrong I'm adopted and My parents have never ever hidden that fact from me. And I don't have any hate or needs to Go Find My biological parents. defiantly no Lifelong feeling of emptiness

    Quote: Are biological parent/child relations stronger than non-blood parent/child relations? <- No your parents are the people who take care of you and Love you!! end of discussion
     
  6. mako shark

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    I've always known that I am adopted and after one phone call and a letter, I knew that she wasn't fit to be my mom or anyone else's...
     
  7. DiscoBoy

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    I've always imagined, for the most part, that non-blood parent/child relations would be stronger.

    It takes a lot of preparation, hard work and genuine desire for a child, to adopt a child-- in most cases, a lot more than it does to simply conceive one. As such, I would think that adoptive parents tend to be better prepared to deal with, comfort and love their child.

    Then, of course, there's the fact that they have to actually put effort into loving this kid. It isn't biologically theirs, so the feelings aren't innate. For a relationship and love for the child to blossom, a sincere attempt must be made to build up to something substantial. Similar to a friendship. Whereas in a family, you don't question your love for other family members, simply because they're family; in a friendship, you've had to put work into the relationship to reach that level-- and it becomes that much more meaningful.

    I think this holds more truth with men than it does with women. A father [biological or not] will never know or feel the connection a biological mother has with their child.

    That's how I look at it anyway. I'm of course not taking into account the backlash that naturally spawns from many an adopted child, which of course can lead to a not-so-great relationship.
     
  8. Viking_UK

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    The other side of the coin is that someone else loved them enough to raise them, feed them, clothe them, put plasters on their knees when they fell and hug them when they cried.

    I know one person who was told from day one that he had been adopted and he had a much closer relationship with his adoptive parents than most natural families I've known. His parents had been unable to have kids and looked on him as a godsend. His birth mother tried to contact him a few years ago, but he wasn't interested in meeting her. His reply was, "She's not my mother. She's only the woman who gave birth to me."

    I think it's easier for everyone concerned to be honest from the outset, because there's always the issue of trust.
     
  9. earllogjam

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    I have an adopted dog and he seems to have bonded to our family. Must be the same with chillins.
     
  10. Gustavovolvo

    Gustavovolvo New Member

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    I was adopted twice!

    i have never felt rejected or unwanted. iF anything I think my biological parents or at least the mother wanted me to have the best life possible and gave me up and the 4 parents after all loved me fully as if I was from their blood.

    The first adoption was when I was born records were sealed I never have looked to find about opening them. George and Victoria my first adoptive parents were loving parents as long as they could be. She died when I was 5 from illness and he died a year later in a work related accident. the next few years had 4 foster homes with a lot of temp brothers and sisters. The 4th place the couple petitioned for adoption and at 11 I was finally adopted by them and got a brother in the deal he has always seen me as his brother and I see him that way. My second set of adoptive parents aged and died of natural causes and age.
    I think of myself as having had 6 parents and they all loved me and i loved them.
     
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