Advice about nephew PLEASE

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by sweetlucky12, Jun 4, 2006.

  1. sweetlucky12

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    Hello, I found this board shortly after I met my current boyfriend a while back.

    Several days ago, my nephew came over and stubbled across a package of trojan magnums I bought for use with my boyfriend. It created a bit of an awkward moment becuase it lead to lots of questions from nephew. He's 20 and in college. His parents live about 100 miles away, so he comes by my place to hang out or for dinner sometimes. Its not really a secret that my nephew is on the large side, but he was basically asking me how big you need to be to use magnums. I know he is inexperienced with girls and I feel a little sorry for him because of his shyness/awkwardness. I told him that the conversation wasn't appropriate, but I gave the impression I knew he is pretty well hung based on seeing him in swimwear/athletic pants. I think I said something to the effect of 'its no secret to anyone who watched your high school sports teams' or something. This evidently led to him feeling even prouder and bolder. Then it started getting really awkward and eventually he offered to show it to me and get my opinion. Instead of that I opted to give him a magnum to try on in private sometime. Later that night, he emailed me and said it fit snuggly. I'm worried it was a mistake in case his mom finds out or he does/says something inappropriate. For example he stopped in at my place during his run the other day and he was wearing really tight black shorts that showed his profile a lot. Does anyone have any suggests of how I can diffuse the situation a little? My boyfriend thinks the whole thing is funny, so I'm having a hard time keeping him from joking about it with my nephew.
     
  2. ChuckRich

    ChuckRich New Member

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    I think you handled the situation well. You just need to tell your nephew that although there are lots of women who would like to see him in tight shorts and talk about or see his penis, you being his aunt is NOT one of them and he needs to find someone else to show off to.
     
  3. hypolimnas

    hypolimnas Well-Known Member

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    It created a bit of an awkward moment becuase it lead to lots of questions from nephew.

    You've done well. Don't say anything that might lead to him avoiding you in future. He may need your advice/support for other important things later on.

    My Aunts and Uncles were a great support to me at that age as I was moving out into the world. I could share a lot about myself safely with them, and my anxieties subsequently became less important.

    Let your nephew know that you care for him, you are very happy/satisfied with your bf and that he (your nephew) has a big future ahead of him, as far as being appreciated by others (as I am sure he is finding out, albeit slowly).

    Actually you should probably ask your bf to indicate to your nephew that he will always make time if your nephew wants to talk (your nephew needs to know how to get the condoms he likes), and your bf should probably also to let him know about LPSG. Guys joke about everything it's part of being a guy, like being proud of our unique characteristics!:wink:

    Anyway that's my opinion about how to handle things, good luck. He is lucky to have such a thoughtful and caring Aunt. :smile:
     
  4. SlickWilly

    SlickWilly Member

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    why not mention to the parents that he's beginning to have questions about sex & that you feel it's appropriate that THEY tastefully/tactfully discuss it with him- unless they'd like YOU to. That way it doesn't appear as if you're trying to hide something & gets everything out in the open, so to speak.
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    I agree with hypolimnas, sweetie. If your nephew broaches the subject again, refer him to your boyfriend for further information (and inform your bf beforehand that you are going to do that.)
     
  6. B_josiah852

    B_josiah852 New Member

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    I think your nephew is trying to tell you something. You may need to sit him down and have a serious talk with him.
     
  7. Athleticman60516

    Athleticman60516 New Member

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    The guy is 20 years old based on the original post. So the "chicken factor" is gone. While it seems like you handled the situation well, on some levels, you also opened a door by commenting on his "obvious size."

    How comfortable do you think he is going to be by talking to his parents about his cock? Probably won't! Hence he is going to come to people that he is comfortable with, you clearly being one of them.
     
  8. SomeGuyOverThere

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    I think that the stituation speaks volumes about how comfortable he is with you, I don't think you should blow that by being too harsh, but I'd definatly refer him to your boyfriend if:

    A: He has more questions.
    B: You aren't comfortable with answering them.
    C: Your boyfriend is ok with that.

    If he persists, then I'll give my usual advice - be hounest with him, tell him you arent comfortable with discussing such things, and refer him to the internet (but not LPSG for the sake of not letting him read your thoughts which presumably you are posting here because you don't want people close to you in Real Life to read), or your boyfriend, and refuse to discuss anything like that again.
     
  9. kurios

    kurios Member

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    We arent talking here about a young teen he is 20 years old so I think the parent talk is not likely to happen. He may even be hitting on a hot somewhat 'older women' (aunt or not).
    Get your boyfriend to have a chat with him about something that they seem to have in common.
     
  10. xrush_uncut

    xrush_uncut New Member

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    I wouldn't talk to a person under 18 about sex, but definitely would if he/she was 20. If they're asking the questions it's because they need to know the answers. He's 20. He's a man. If he needs to find out info, someone needs to tell him and better he hear it from someone he knows than some asshole from the street.
     
  11. xrush_uncut

    xrush_uncut New Member

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    Forgot to mention. The showing the dick part would be a little weird. I'd have no part of that, more for fear of the accusations that could come with it than anything else.
     
  12. catman

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    couple of questions- what is you and your nephews age difference?

    He is 20, how old are you?

    Does he have anyother brothers? I assume you are related by blood?

    is there anyone else closer to his age (that is also 'big') that he could talk to? If you and his father are related- is your nephews father a 'big' man? If so that mightbe more apropriate...

    Sounds like he needs someone to talk to- if it is you, be sure to set simple boundries....
     
  13. dug322

    dug322 New Member

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    Perhaps you should refer him to this website. He's 20 and has questions and there are a lot of well-hung men who can answer his questions because they have real-life experiences. I am on the more "average" size of the spectrum but what I've seen around here there are definite issues on clothing, condoms etc that he might not have someone with real life experience to talk to about.
    I agree the idea of his offering to do show and tell is a little bit creepy. I really do think you should up front with him that your uncomfortable discussing his "equipment" but let him know that your boyfriend, (if he's willing) will answer questions for him.
     
  14. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    It seems you are quite open with your nephew so id keep things honest but light hearted. If he turns up in tight shorts tell him "for god sake put it away" and same if he offers to let you have a look, tell him "Im your aunt, that could almost be considered incest".

    But yeah, id make it somewhat of a joke so he dosent feel embarressed and awkwasrd about coming to you in the future. For now i would also leave your boyfriend out of the situation as it might make things even more uncomfortable, but if tthe nephew gets worse do get your boyfriend involved to try and sort things out.

    You done the right thing giving him a condom to try and tellhim if he needs it you will even buy him more but he should work it out on his own
     
  15. sweetlucky12

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    Thanks everybody! The ssituation basically worked itself out. My nephew came over the other day and we had a nice talk. It was a little awkward at first because my bf started off the conversation with "So, I hear you filled up my magnum." After that it turned into a nice discussion. Mostly between my bf and my nephew. I left the room for a large part of it. I guess his nervousness about the issue came from his mom saying stuff like "better hide that thing from the girls." I told him that she was probably just teasing him a little, but in a positive way as most assume girls like big ones. At the end of the night, he gave me a big hug and thanked me and my bf for talking with him.

    Of course my bf is having all kinds of fun with it. He went out and bought my nephew a square cut speedo (my bf's swimwear of choice) and tthen took him tanning at neighborhood pool. It was a non-peak time, but my bf said there were a couple older ladies there who gave them a smile. I have cautioned my nephew a couple times about how to be appropriate with the limited exhibitionism he's up for. I told him he's 20 and ought to know when it is ok to wear the squarecut and when he should go with his board shorts. I also told him its ok to wear his tight gym shorts to workout in or something, but not to wear them over for dinner like the other day. He was very receptive and appreciated talking to someone.
     
  16. 14x8thck

    14x8thck Member

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    I think you handled the whole thing quite well. And although you felt it inappropriate to talk to him since your b/f had fun with it sounds like it turned out OK. Maybe he just needed a strong male influence to talk to and chose the two of you. He is lucky and do not be shy get in and talk to him. Years from now he will remeber how "cool" you were. You will be his Uncle for a long time. Enjoy!
     
  17. D_Sheffield Thongbynder

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    Hmmmm...anytime I show my dick to someone I'm looking for more than tea and sympathy. Maybe I am unduly suspicious, but I think his motive may have less to do with curiosity about his dick (the guy's twenty!) than in making a pass (albeit a lame one). Not knowing your relationship and other variables, I may be way off base, but I see it as a red flag. I wouldn't go there if I were you.
     
  18. DV8

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    Sweetheart- you just need to slap the hell out of him. Okay, you don't... But something bothers me. We live in a new day and age. He's 20 years old, and he doesn't really know anything about condom sizes, and etc? I mean, what's really going one?! What is this, deliverance?! I must say, you did handle the situation very well. And if you have not yet spoke with him, and addressed the issue, then you should. When you make him aware of how you feel, then he's going to know that the situation is in fact peculiar, thus, he'll apologize to you. I understand that he has a curiousity, and it's something that should have been explored. Not only that, but his parents should have had this talk with him a long time ago. Now, as for him showing up to your home in the tight black shorts after the jog. You need to ask yourself, would you have felt peculiar about that had you not spoken with him in regards to the whole condom thing, or he offered to show it to you? That's not his fault, really.
    Another way you could have gone about the situation, was with pure boldness. Judging by the context, I'd have to say you seemed pretty shy, nervous, and insecure about the situation. Like I said, this is something his parents should have discussed with him, and since they didn't, you have the right as his aunt. You allowed the unfamiliar catch you off guard, and make the victim of the situation. That's not a good thing! No matter what the situation is, always approach it in the terms of something you can handle. I hope this was helpful. Muah!
    Dante':rolleyes:
     
  19. Ette

    Ette New Member

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    Great that things worked out well in the end, sad to say too few people talk to their kids about sex and sexuality. Most of my daughters friends come to me about their concerns because their own parents won't talk to them.

    Sometimes you have to intervene. Case in point my SO's nephew is well hung it has been apparant to us for many years since he was a tean. His mother was buying him boy's jeans because he could still"fit" (he was about 15 at the time) in them I use this term loosely. One day I told her it was time to get him jeans that were cut a little more age appropriate she asked me what I meant. I told her she was choking the chicken in his shorts. She was like "Huh" I told her to look carefully and as a woman not a mother she looked and realized just what was on display! He had new jeans the next day. The reall strange thing about her is the fact that she would tell me about walking in on him with a piss hard in the a.m.'s and I would tell her I didn't want to know how big it was(she was doing the hands so far apart to show me) because it creeped me out to think she was doing it on purpose. Some people amaze me.
     
  20. titansg

    titansg New Member

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    is it just me, or are there several Incest related posts appearing on this site.
    read the message posted above mine here, its so blantant.
    I have no objections to these posts but i'm begininng to think it needs its own bit of the forum!!
     
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