Advice and how can I help?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by bigbulgelicker45, Nov 11, 2010.

  1. bigbulgelicker45

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    It's completed as to being in the new found film industry in Michigan but that's not the point.

    Earlier this afternoon I was supposed to meet my former director who was going to direct my movie and as usual she didn't show up. That's not the problem.

    While I was at the bar "just to hang" I saw this one girl (and remember I'm 100% gay) so after I came back into the bar after having a cigarette she came over to the table I was sitting at and reintroduced herself. She used to cut hair about four years ago.

    At the time she was 23 and lived that "carefree life."

    I found out that she has cancer and have been in shock ever since finding out. It doesn't look like she has a lot of time left and I need to try and help her out with any medical bills. She said there's been a lot of benefits to help her out and I need to help her out since she was so full of life and now after 13 surgeries I don't know know where to begin to help.

    I'm know this probably isn't the right forum but even in her present state she's trying so hard to hang onto life that it's breaking my heart.
     
  2. Phil Ayesho

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    Sounds like a con, to me.
     
  3. bigbulgelicker45

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    No it's not a con, but thanks for your heartless input.
     
  4. mexdude

    mexdude New Member

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    Ohh, so sad, i wish she doesnt feel any pain when the time comes, :(
     
  5. B_625girth

    B_625girth New Member

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    are you sure she isn't on a 4 year meth trip???
     
  6. nudeyorker

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    I'm sorry I'm with the others who are a bit skeptical here. She has had 13 surgeries and she is in a bar dealing with her end of life choices? Something is not adding up really.
    If it's true or even partly true I am indeed sorry for her illness and the issues and choices she is facing right now.
     
  7. bigbulgelicker45

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    They discovered it two years ago and since then has had a leg amputated (from the knee down) and stomach removed due to esophogeal (I know I spelled it wrong) cancer. She said she wasn't cancer free but with being in the bar- she wasn't drinking "just being out of the house" but even as we talked I could tell it was a struggle for her.

    This is someone who was so full of life and to see how frail and tired she is.

    I just feel so helpless and felt the same when one of my other friends had cancer surgery last year.
     
  8. zaragoza

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    I don't know what to tell you.....

    I'm very,very,sorry,try to be there,for her and give her some emotional support,i think she will appreciate that.

    When it comes to monetary help,just help her out with whatever you can,i guess.

    But i think that just being there for her is a tremendous help.
     
  9. maxcok

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    I'm confused. If she doesn't have much time left, why would she be concerned about medical bills? It's not like they can follow her to the grave. Are you/she looking for emotional support or soliciting donations?
     
  10. helgaleena

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    Money is not the help she needs. Friends to share her last months or weeks are what she needs. Obviously you have not seen her in a while and the changes in her are a shock.

    'I need to' is a phrase you keep repeating in your first post. You feel this need, not her. She probably would benefit most from being taken to the movies, in a theater with wheelchair accessible seating. No popcorn if she's had some of her digestive tract removed, but a nice slurpee maybe.
     
  11. pablovian

    pablovian Member

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    Yeah - I was wondering about why you would help her out financially as well. Just be her friend and hang out with her and help her in her final days.
     
  12. Charles Finn

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    just be her friend and be there to help and support her
     
  13. mexdude

    mexdude New Member

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    Or u could take her to a "tanatologist" (i think thats their name), well, its a person that helps people that have little time to live, and hlp them with the process, and make them feel fine
     
  14. helgaleena

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    In my area they are known as hospice workers...
     
  15. bigbulgelicker45

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    Today I found out that my friend had passed away on Friday.

    While going through papers I kept coming across her email and I'd put it aside only to be buried in more papers that I'd come across. Ironically, I came across it again and TOLD myself I was going to email her that night. I never did.

    Her email's sitting on top of some containers and for the last few days I said I'd email her. I never did and before I went to a production meeting for my movie I saw it and told myself I was going to email her once I had gotten home.

    While I'm not going to go to the funeral home to pay my respects (everyone hates to say goodbye) I'm in pre production for my first short film (which she said she'd help out in any way she could and the call time's going to be at 3:00 a.m. in a couple of weeks) and she was really excited about helping out (a hairdresser by trade and she had the spirit to help with doing hair and then being an extra).

    In preparation for this movie I've bought a lot of vintage jewelry for a gala scene and gave the necklace, earrings and bracelet to one of her life long friends and said to give it to her. She said she'd put it on her as my way of saying thanks.

    I'm kinda of out of it mostly due to shock but for those who gave great advice thanks and I wished I wasn't too wrapped up in my own personal life.

    Brooke, I'm really going to miss you. :(
     
  16. borntobeking

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    My condolences on your loss.
     
  17. mexdude

    mexdude New Member

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    So sad, :( , my condolences as well :(
     
  18. petite

    petite New Member

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    I'm so sorry to hear that happened. :(
     
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