Advice - Best friend is attracted to me

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by highlander4life, Jul 6, 2007.

  1. highlander4life

    highlander4life New Member

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    Hi everyone,

    Just recently I had a really interesting evening. I was chatting with a friend of mine and he started talking about sex, and how he felt horny. We never talk about sex, because he's not very open and doesn't like talking about many things, and especially not sex. Anyway, the long story short he told me that he would love to get together with me and "experiment". I'm not exactly sure what to do, because I'm not interested in that. He is one of my best friends and he's got a wife and two really young kids, and I know them well. He's always been the most straight guy ever, and has had all the girls in college. He's good looking, he's a great guy, everyone likes him and he can get any girl he wants. He has never cheated on his wife since they got married, at least not that I know and he told me so. Is he thinking that by what he calls "experimenting" with me he's not cheatting on his wife? I just don't understand what he sees in me.

    I don't want him to get hurt, I mean it takes a lot of courage to come out to someone like he did, and he told me many times how he really trusts me, but at the same time I want him to understand that I'm not interested in that. I still want to be friends. Personally I don't like things to change between us because of what happened. If anything, I think we are closer now because he's opened up to me, but I'm concerned he's going to feel rejected and then feel ashamed and things are going to change between us. The worst is that I can't talk to anyone about it because I'm afraid people will find out about him and then he'll be in trouble, so I can't even ask any of my friends for advice.

    Any of you had similar situation? What did you do? Any suggestions?
     
  2. Skootavi

    Skootavi Member

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    I had a similar situation twice. The first time I was totally open to it since I had always had a secret crush on my friend. We got a hotel one afternoon and we got naked and spent some time fondling each other and then I took him in my mouth and finished him off. he sucked my cock a little bit but not for long. I jacked off while he watched. We cleaned up and he went home. Things were really wierd after that. Prior to this, we used to get together quite a bit to play basketball, or I'd hang out with him and his wife. After our "experiment", he always had other things to do and our friendship just fizzled away. BIG MISTAKE.
    The second time it came up, I just told my friend that I thought he was extremely hot but it might change things and I wasn't going to take the chance of messing up our friendship just for a romp in the sheets. I told him if he was interested in experimenting, he should check out craigslist and meet someone there but to make sure he was totally safe when hooking up. He did hook up with a guy a couple times and said it was great sex but it just wasn't what he thought it would be. We are still great friends today. We have the occasional teasing comment about sucking cock but it's all in good fun.
     
  3. Corius

    Corius New Member

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    My first reaction would be that, while it is important for you to make clear that you are not a potential experimenter, that you are willing to be the person he can talk with. Often, giving him your honest thoughts and questions can be very helpful to him in getting himself together regarding his feelings and his life situation.

    Giving him advice is not what I am suggesting. But, put yourself in his place. I rather suspect that you would appreciate a friend who would listen, keep everything confidential, and, above all never ever come across as judgemental.

    Consider yourself complimented by the trust your friend has in you.
     
  4. highlander4life

    highlander4life New Member

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    Thanks for the reply.

    I feel that things have started getting a bit weird, because he's not on MSN since that night. He has been completely out of touch since that night, and I'm assuming it's because I wasn't responsive to his act and he thought that I would be interested.
     
  5. AntiqueNumbers

    AntiqueNumbers New Member

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    I made the mistake of telling my best friend that if he was ever interested in experimenting, to let me know. He was totally shocked. He had always seem me with girlfriends. Needless to say, our friendship pretty much fizzle to almost nothing. He has since gotten married. We cross paths about once a week. It has never been the same. Looking back on it, I realize that the more time we spent together, subconsciously I guess I thought we were growing closer and closer together. He on the other hand was just looking for someone to hang out with until the "wife to be" was found. The funny thing is that he is not even that handsome, so it just goes to show how relationships develop on more than just looks.
    I learned my lesson, I won't ever make that offer to a friend again.
     
  6. highlander4life

    highlander4life New Member

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