advice for first toppin

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by bigrider, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. bigrider

    bigrider Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2008
    Messages:
    369
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lancaster (PA, US)
    hello everyone, tomorrow will most likely be my first topping experience. I know i have a lot of girth but the other fellow is experienced any tips would help
     
  2. Bbucko

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Messages:
    7,413
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunny SoFla
    I've been a non-versatile top for about 30 years, so I know something about the subject at hand (pun intended).

    You don't mention who your bottom is, and that's the most crucial element in this whole endeavor. Maybe this is because you don't know him/her that well yourself, and that could be a problem.

    You've got to know how to make the bottom relax and open up. There are all kinds of physical tricks involved in this (a proper washout, finding that person's sweet spot, etc), but it's the mental/emotional tricks that you'll need to develop if you're to be successful in delivering pleasure to you both in equal measure.

    Communicate
    :Make sure the bottom is completely clear on what you will be doing and how you'll be doing it. Allow an optional out at any time: keep talking and keep listening.

    Take your time: This isn't a race to the finish line, it's a very carefully calibrated dance. Do not progress in the intensity of your foreplay or into the actual penetration until he/she is ready. You will see this by both what he/she says and the way he/she is responding.

    Intuit your partner's needs: This probably comes with experience, but all the same, look for and respond to visual cues and non-verbal feedback. Some people are uncomfortable verbalizing about sex, so these cues and signs are extremely important, as is your ability to recognize and interpret them. This is especially important during penetration.

    Don't pressure anything on the bottom: Take it all at his/her pace, and when he/she says it's over, it's done. There will be plenty of other times to go all apeshit on his/her ass, but the first time is much more about the bottom than the top.

    Take a break: If you're sensing that either of you would benefit from a short breather, take one. You can talk, cuddle, learn from each other how what's happening matches your expectations of how you thought it would go down.

    The only other thing I'll discuss is lube, which is a requirement for anal sex. Most people assume that the bottom needs to be greased up far more than is required: just a little bit around the hole and a tiny bit inside is all that's required for him/her. But you need to make sure that you're completely lubed up and that you stay wet throughout the experience.

    Unlike vaginas, anuses do not self-lubricate. If you're using a condom then you'll need to reapply lube to your dick pretty frequently. If not, your precum works wonders.
     
  3. lamboot

    lamboot Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2006
    Messages:
    40
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Jose, CA
    SO....you say you are going to be "topping" some "Fellow", yet you're profile says that you are 100% straight ?? What's up with that ??
     
  4. bigrider

    bigrider Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2008
    Messages:
    369
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Lancaster (PA, US)
    its from when i created my profile a while ago
     
Draft saved Draft deleted