Advice for New Found Bisexuality?

BlueSteel76

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2019
Posts
36
Media
0
Likes
121
Points
293
Location
Seattle (Washington, United States)
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
Good morning everyone! 40yo guy here. Within the last 5 years or so I have really become more bicurious about women. I know this is often the OPPOSITE direction that these things go lol. However, I was talking with a friend of a similar age once and realized that for both of us, the era in which we came out could have had a lot to do with it as bisexuality was still just deemed a "one stop layover to gayville" and you kind of got crap from both sides if you thought you might be bi.

However as I have aged and matured the thoughts of having sex with a woman have come a little more to the forefront of things. I truly believe we only get one life so I am interested in exploring this before I'm too old to do so. I have some straight guy friends who said they'd be down to try a MFM three way if we can find a willing female partner so someone can "show me the ropes" if needed lol but I wanted to ask the Bisexual men here what their experience has been?

My two main things I have noticed are this:

I think it's funny it's so confusing to some of my gay friends - who are all turned on by the thought of straight men trying their first gay experience so I am not sure why they can't flip the card on that and see why it might be hot for them to have their first female experience.

Secondly - most of the women I know, single or not, have known that I have been with men for years - so I feel like I am up against somewhat of a hurdle and not really sure how to clear that.

It's early and I am still caffeinating so pardon the loose though train above but I'd love to hear your thoughts!
 

halcyondays

Worshipped Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Posts
6,359
Media
2
Likes
10,358
Points
158
Location
US
Sexuality
80% Straight, 20% Gay
Gender
Male
I'm 60--born late in the Boomer cohort. Elton John ruined it for bi men of my generation. First he was straight, then bi then gay. That created the "one stop layover to gay" in the minds of almost everyone. Heard that trope a thousand times, lol.

Another thing to consider is the propensity of the human mind to think in terms of black or white, good or bad, up or down, this or that. Dualisms. Definitions. Labels. Identifying & fitting into them.

I was not immune. Though I dated girls in high school I had crushes on a handful of guys and considered I might be bi but when I started fucking guys as a college senior I struggled with the "straight or gay" identity dualism. It did not last long. It was plainly obvious to me that I was neither. Or both. :laughing:
 

Munchy

Mythical Member
Joined
May 6, 2017
Posts
6,952
Media
0
Likes
70,802
Points
583
Location
Newport Newse (Virginia, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I'm similar, after turning Forty five I've been turned on and wanting to experience being with a ftm trans man. I would say I might be bicurious not bisexual. But you should be careful who you share this information with, they could use it against you.
 

dickthrobbing

Legendary Member
Joined
Sep 29, 2007
Posts
593
Media
22
Likes
1,429
Points
348
Location
Taplow (Buckinghamshire, England)
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Male
Secondly - most of the women I know, single or not, have known that I have been with men for years - so I feel like I am up against somewhat of a hurdle and not really sure how to clear that.
Just be open an honest about the bisexual itch and wanting to explore women,
 
  • Like
Reactions: ToryK

BlueSteel76

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 23, 2019
Posts
36
Media
0
Likes
121
Points
293
Location
Seattle (Washington, United States)
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
I'm similar, after turning Forty five I've been turned on and wanting to experience being with a ftm trans man. I would say I might be bicurious not bisexual. But you should be careful who you share this information with, they could use it against you.
How so?
Just be open an honest about the bisexual itch and wanting to explore women,
of course, it’s not something I would hide in an effort to get with someone and if they are concerned about it it’s not someone I’d want to share that kind of an experience with anyway.
 

Kubed

Experimental Member
Joined
Sep 20, 2011
Posts
13
Media
0
Likes
11
Points
88
Location
London
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
I'm in a very similar boat and in my early-mid 30's. I've not been in a committed relationship for a long time and secretly identified as gay for most of my adult life but I've come to realise it's not that black and white. I'm really lost as to how I should initiate dating with women so keenly following this thread!
 

TMBAOK

Admired Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Posts
437
Media
0
Likes
970
Points
163
Location
Seattle (Washington, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
My venture into accepting my attraction to trans men who've had top surgery but no bottom surgery I think is leading me to this possibility...maybe. I get really horny thinking of eating trans men pussy and now been fantasizing about orally pleasing both a man and his gf wjole they fuck and maybe joking in(or at least getting fucked by the guy too). My problem(?) is that I'm not really attracted to women themselves. And their moaning/screaming and even just talking during sex kills it for me. I think that's why trans men get me hot, because for the most part they appear as Male and voices and deepened. I hope some of the ways I've described things isnt offensive to someone on here, just trying to honestly describe my feelings.
 
  • Like
Reactions: JX711

silverexcited

Legendary Member
Joined
May 3, 2012
Posts
619
Media
5
Likes
1,285
Points
213
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
My venture into accepting my attraction to trans men who've had top surgery but no bottom surgery I think is leading me to this possibility...maybe. I get really horny thinking of eating trans men pussy and now been fantasizing about orally pleasing both a man and his gf wjole they fuck and maybe joking in(or at least getting fucked by the guy too). My problem(?) is that I'm not really attracted to women themselves. And their moaning/screaming and even just talking during sex kills it for me. I think that's why trans men get me hot, because for the most part they appear as Male and voices and deepened. I hope some of the ways I've described things isnt offensive to someone on here, just trying to honestly describe my feelings.
This is also me re: women’s morning and screaming. Just doesn’t do it for me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TMBAOK

SurferShane

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 22, 2019
Posts
92
Media
0
Likes
202
Points
43
Location
Los Angeles (California, United States)
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Male
Aww, love a good screamer :)

Bisexuality is a weird thing for so many people, and people who try to label it. If a guy has predominately had sex only with women, but then fools around with a guy even ONCE people will say "Oh my god, I didn't know he was gay!!!!" But the opposite is definitely NOT true. If a gay guy has sex with a woman people don't say "I didn't know he was straight!!!!" I definitely have known gay guys who LOVE having sex with women. And have known straight guys who certainly didn't mind getting friendly with a buddy on occasion.

That's why labels suck. That's why I list myself here as "pansexual," although who the hell really knows what that means. Hell, if I get horny enough I'll fuck a coffee table. Who cares?

(in my defense, it's got to be a really HOT coffee table)
 

JX711

Loved Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Posts
446
Media
0
Likes
736
Points
138
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
What about girl pussy?
My venture into accepting my attraction to trans men who've had top surgery but no bottom surgery I think is leading me to this possibility...maybe. I get really horny thinking of eating trans men pussy and now been fantasizing about orally pleasing both a man and his gf wjole they fuck and maybe joking in(or at least getting fucked by the guy too). My problem(?) is that I'm not really attracted to women themselves. And their moaning/screaming and even just talking during sex kills it for me. I think that's why trans men get me hot, because for the most part they appear as Male and voices and deepened. I hope some of the ways I've described things isnt offensive to someone on here, just trying to honestly describe my feelings.
?
 

TMBAOK

Admired Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2019
Posts
437
Media
0
Likes
970
Points
163
Location
Seattle (Washington, United States)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
What about girl pussy?

?
Hey, if I could separate the woman from the pussy, I'm there, but I'm not attracted to women at all. And listening to women moaning/screaming in straight or bi porn is even more of a boner killer. The only thing I've fantasized about possibly wanting to do is being with a guy and his chick and going down on them while they're fucking. Get off on the guy getting off in his territory basically.
 

BuckyD

Mythical Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Posts
4,472
Media
0
Likes
55,376
Points
443
Location
pacific north west
Sexuality
69% Gay, 31% Straight
Gender
Male
For me by far the best thing about females is the way the pussy feels, particularly around the head of your penis when you go balls deep. A muscualr anus can grip your shaft like a hot fist but nothing feels better stretched over your knob than the insides of a woman. The long high maintenance hair and nails, the high pitched voices, the weird deposits of body fat under the skin and the episodic blood leakage basically do nothing for me.
 

JX711

Loved Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2018
Posts
446
Media
0
Likes
736
Points
138
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
For me by far the best thing about females is the way the pussy feels, particularly around the head of your penis when you go balls deep. A muscualr anus can grip your shaft like a hot fist but nothing feels better stretched over your knob than the insides of a woman. The long high maintenance hair and nails, the high pitched voices, the weird deposits of body fat under the skin and the episodic blood leakage basically do nothing for me.
Interesting opinion but I've seen straight guys who are just starting to sleep with guys say the exact opposite of what you said here. It really depends on each person's experience.
 

BuckyD

Mythical Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2009
Posts
4,472
Media
0
Likes
55,376
Points
443
Location
pacific north west
Sexuality
69% Gay, 31% Straight
Gender
Male
Interesting opinion but I've seen straight guys who are just starting to sleep with guys say the exact opposite of what you said here. It really depends on each person's experience.
Exact opposite would be guys that say they get little stimulation of their shaft from the anal sphicter tightening around it and maximal pleasure from poking their knob into the void of an empty colon. Maybe there are such guys but I think there are few experienced anal tops that would agree with this. And this is coming from a guy that is a huge fan of anally penetrating other guys! In a way the limited stimulation of the head of the penis in anal sex can be a good thing since it is probably why the top can keep from coming too fast and go and go like the energizer bunny while enjoying the grip of the anus on his shaft. Can be kind of rough on the bottom after a while though.
 
D

deleted5199391

Guest
Good morning everyone! 40yo guy here. Within the last 5 years or so I have really become more bicurious about women. I know this is often the OPPOSITE direction that these things go lol. However, I was talking with a friend of a similar age once and realized that for both of us, the era in which we came out could have had a lot to do with it as bisexuality was still just deemed a "one stop layover to gayville" and you kind of got crap from both sides if you thought you might be bi.

However as I have aged and matured the thoughts of having sex with a woman have come a little more to the forefront of things. I truly believe we only get one life so I am interested in exploring this before I'm too old to do so. I have some straight guy friends who said they'd be down to try a MFM three way if we can find a willing female partner so someone can "show me the ropes" if needed lol but I wanted to ask the Bisexual men here what their experience has been?

My two main things I have noticed are this:

I think it's funny it's so confusing to some of my gay friends - who are all turned on by the thought of straight men trying their first gay experience so I am not sure why they can't flip the card on that and see why it might be hot for them to have their first female experience.

Secondly - most of the women I know, single or not, have known that I have been with men for years - so I feel like I am up against somewhat of a hurdle and not really sure how to clear that.

It's early and I am still caffeinating so pardon the loose though train above but I'd love to hear your thoughts!
First of all, I understand you. Being bi years ago was quite a problem, since both straight and gay community act like you couldn't be trusted (I am generalizing).
I hope this will not be a problem for your gay friends.
For girls, depends. The easiest would be to find a bi girl.
A straight girl that's comfortable with those topics could also find this intriguing. You could try to let people know you are bi and see their reaction.
 

BMJ31

Superior Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2009
Posts
1,787
Media
0
Likes
2,812
Points
268
Location
Bedford (Texas, United States)
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Male
Good morning everyone! 40yo guy here. Within the last 5 years or so I have really become more bicurious about women. I know this is often the OPPOSITE direction that these things go lol. However, I was talking with a friend of a similar age once and realized that for both of us, the era in which we came out could have had a lot to do with it as bisexuality was still just deemed a "one stop layover to gayville" and you kind of got crap from both sides if you thought you might be bi.

However as I have aged and matured the thoughts of having sex with a woman have come a little more to the forefront of things. I truly believe we only get one life so I am interested in exploring this before I'm too old to do so. I have some straight guy friends who said they'd be down to try a MFM three way if we can find a willing female partner so someone can "show me the ropes" if needed lol but I wanted to ask the Bisexual men here what their experience has been?

My two main things I have noticed are this:

I think it's funny it's so confusing to some of my gay friends - who are all turned on by the thought of straight men trying their first gay experience so I am not sure why they can't flip the card on that and see why it might be hot for them to have their first female experience.

Secondly - most of the women I know, single or not, have known that I have been with men for years - so I feel like I am up against somewhat of a hurdle and not really sure how to clear that.

It's early and I am still caffeinating so pardon the loose though train above but I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Nowadays people go back and forth and it’s
not that big of an issue. Some women are curious about you as well.. I agree, there is a double standard with many gay men.. Yay if you want to sleep with them but mention a woman and they act funny towards you.. But definitely go forth it.. Look at the bright side, you don’t need lube or have to worry about someone accidently pooping on you.. lmao!! Boobs are great btw!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: bi2

bigboaster

Mythical Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Mar 5, 2018
Posts
17,259
Media
4
Likes
75,331
Points
358
Location
Barbados
Verification
View
Sexuality
Pansexual
Gender
Male
Good morning everyone! 40yo guy here. Within the last 5 years or so I have really become more bicurious about women. I know this is often the OPPOSITE direction that these things go lol. However, I was talking with a friend of a similar age once and realized that for both of us, the era in which we came out could have had a lot to do with it as bisexuality was still just deemed a "one stop layover to gayville" and you kind of got crap from both sides if you thought you might be bi.

However as I have aged and matured the thoughts of having sex with a woman have come a little more to the forefront of things. I truly believe we only get one life so I am interested in exploring this before I'm too old to do so. I have some straight guy friends who said they'd be down to try a MFM three way if we can find a willing female partner so someone can "show me the ropes" if needed lol but I wanted to ask the Bisexual men here what their experience has been?

My two main things I have noticed are this:

I think it's funny it's so confusing to some of my gay friends - who are all turned on by the thought of straight men trying their first gay experience so I am not sure why they can't flip the card on that and see why it might be hot for them to have their first female experience.

Secondly - most of the women I know, single or not, have known that I have been with men for years - so I feel like I am up against somewhat of a hurdle and not really sure how to clear that.

It's early and I am still caffeinating so pardon the loose though train above but I'd love to hear your thoughts!
You are gonna face biphobia from both sides first of all. The gays and the straights both can have their shitty prejudices about bisexuals (bi men especially). Just look at some of the gross things people say even on this website. lol

But past that, I absolutely agree you have one life, live it to the fullest. I am also more of a gay-leaning bi myself but I've had flings with plenty of women and it's always fun. Pussy feels great (imho). I would not compare it to an asshole, they're just different but both enjoyable in different ways. lol
 

Mushrhoom

Expert Member
Joined
May 29, 2011
Posts
270
Media
7
Likes
242
Points
188
Location
Laos
Sexuality
60% Gay, 40% Straight
Gender
Male
I'm going to go even further than anyone else here and state that being bi is BETTER than being either gay or straight! How could it not be? Not only do you have a wider spectrum of sexual interest and choices, but you also have insights that those in the strictly-gay or straight camp DON'T have - especially as you become more experienced. You were born with a special gift so go for it, savor it, and enjoy it. And have confidence that you possess superior knowledge over any small-minded individuals who might disparage you.