Advice!! My first online hookup!

Aris219

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I met this guy through dirtyroulette site last year, I was very horny that time and can't stop the call of nature lol. So I went this site to try see guys and to j*rk off. He's older than me about 8 yrs gap, his buff like he used to go to gym before but he stop it that's why he kinda look bulk. His cute, gentleman and isanely hot. At first meeting him, I thought he will just skip me just like the other guys because I'm quite obviously a crossdresser gay guy or femboy and I thought his str8 asf. He get my phone number and we started videocalling eachother. I dunno what to say at first to him because it my first time using that site and just came out my closet, so it's quite overwhelming for me meeting a guy online because I used to date girls before, but it's time for me to meet guys i like it just sad pandemic happened and i can't date outside. So back to the drama, when we videocall i was trying to talk to him but he don't say anything , I'm quite awkward to ask him about why am i doing those website and then he said he don't speak english because he live in cyprus and he was just using a translator to talk to me. Hahaha and funny to say we ended up having the best videocall we have with only using sign language to do things we desires. And after that, we did it again on other and the other day until we used to call eachother whenever we horny lol, it lasted a whole fcking 2 weeks and do some crazy things like roleplaying, and other nasty stuff he want me to perform while we videocalling, he will just text me a message to be ready before the videocall and when we start videocalling we don't say anything. Just pure intimate sounds while imagining ourselves making out but after that video he completely end it right away so i dont have time to talk to him. Until one day, i can't stop thinking about him and let's just say i broke the rule of getting attached by someone you just met on a fcking horny site. It was mistake, but i can't help how he treated me like no one does. So i texted him and he replied, he said he was at work and can't do videocall and i'd replied "I'm not here for that, I just wanna know you more as a person and not just a online fckbuddy. I wanna know your story, your life or how's your day because I didn't have a chance to know you coz u always hang me up after we finish." he said "me too, so okay, I'm here now, ask me anyhting." And I replied "are you single?" and he said "yes". I asked him, "Have you dated gays before ?" and he said "no, it's his first time doing this with guy". I said "okay, but have you fck a gay before in real life?" and he said "no, only girls". And i replied, "so why you keep calling me when you're into girls?" and he said " because you're so different and your very attractive and i like you."
At the back of my mind i was just like whaaaaaat??! tf with guy into lol.

So i texted him again, and said "so is there a chance of us getting into a relationship like boyfriend and boyfriend? Because I'm not really this kind of person, and while we keep doing this without the label of our relationship, i can't help myself to not falling for you.. Every single videocall we have I see you enjoying time with me and so do I. You know it's hard for me not liking you and pretend we just friends." And he replied, "I understand but I'm not gay. I like girls and I like you too. I'm really attracted to you and it's my first time meeting person like you."
And i replied okay.

But deep inside, i feel so confused and broken at the same time because knowing that he's into girls and calling me when his horny is quite isanely crazy situation I've been through. And as a person meeting this kind of person/guy for the first time, i feel sorry, hurt and sad at the same for letting myself going to this type of gay shit! Lmao

So after that conversation, i didn't receive any text message from him, weeks past and still he didn't show any concerns. Until one day, he texted me 8 messages, he say he was sorry because he was bussy at work and he misses me, so on. So, my gayass, let myself again getting attatched to this guy again even though I thought I already move on from him but I couldn't resists his presence, like his super hot now because his back on working out, and he cut his hair and he changed like a hunk alpha. Lmao I really can't help it. So we continue our "arrangements" if that you call. But it's not always though, like every other day or weeks before he texting me. But this time i don't chase him anymore, I just let him text me first duh! :D

Until one day while we doing some crazy shit on videocall, someone interupted him, i heard knocking a girl voice knocking his door, and it creep him out of his shit! Like he was super nervous. And he even forget to hang up the videocall so heard their conversation and before he get his phone, I end the call. He texted me that it his grandma called him, but i didn't believe him lol. Because i know it was a girl, and i even saw the dress and other clothes of a girl on the open closet behind him, he forget to close. And i just reply "okay, no worries" but lol back in my mind, ain't stupid shit letting this thing go. So i concluded that his in a relationship and cheating on her. And i stop texting him again, but he keep contacting me, saying he misses me, what happened why i stop answering his call, what he did. I just say im busy at work or make some excuses, but some this day we videocall because i cant stop my horny self seeing him naked because of his vikings aura haha. Sorry if i'm so flirty, i'm just gay lol.

So my i wanna ask an advice, if should i continue doing this kind of set-up? Because as ypu can see, i'm really enjoying it lol even tho i know for the fact we cant have a real relationship i want or i imagine. But also i feel guilty for the girl, not knowing his man doing. Because i feel her, I experience what it feels like being her shoes. Like my last bf also cheated on me, and now experiencing the opposite POV is really unexplainable with mixed emotions. I'm not really bad person and i hate ruining or hurting anybody. So what should I do?


ps. Sorry for the grammar error lol, i'm not really good at writing story in english and not a great storyteller. jules-19
 

Big_a_20

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It’s a long story for a very short answer: don’t bother pursuing this.

it’s not going to be healthy for you and is already causing some mental anguish. Have your fun but know this will NEVER work out.

You deserve someone closer who is going to treat you as a whole person, not just a sex object. Best of luck!
 

AllDixNeedLuv69

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well --replying to an ad on dirtyroullette and other apps like grindr for most part is youre just seeing sex --but the thing is this--meeting someone through the app and doing anything/everything to please each others urges and desires--can be an exciting thing--but the question asked could see each other as boyfriends-- and say just looking for fun but never know what happens

a friend of mine met a guy thru grindr 4 years ago said all he was seeking was sex --but they both got together several times had sex then went out to dinner and hung out alot together to the point it wasnt only sexual but had fell in love and have been together ever since
 
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Big_a_20

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well --replying to an ad on dirtyroullette and other apps like grindr for most part is youre just seeing sex --but the thing is this--meeting someone through the app and doing anything/everything to please each others urges and desires--can be an exciting thing--but the question asked could see each other as boyfriends-- and say just looking for fun but never know what happens

a friend of mine met a guy thru grindr 4 years ago said all he was seeking was sex --but they both got together several times had sex then went out to dinner and hung out alot together to the point it wasnt only sexual but had fell in love and have been together ever since
I’ve had some relationships come from hookups so it’s certainly possible but in this situation, there’s a lot of red flags haha
 
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Okay, girl. This situation can only go downhill from here. As a stranger on the internet, I advice you to stop because one of these days, the guilt/stress is going to eat u alive. Also, you caught feelings but you also see the red flags.

There are 7 billion people on earth girlie, you don't need this particular hot viking man to be THE hot viking man.

If you want closure, lay it all out for him. Tell him your concerns and why you think youses should stop your arrangements. If not, just lower your interactions so that it makes it seem like you lost interest.

Hope you sort it out!
 

Aris219

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Okay, girl. This situation can only go downhill from here. As a stranger on the internet, I advice you to stop because one of these days, the guilt/stress is going to eat u alive. Also, you caught feelings but you also see the red flags.

There are 7 billion people on earth girlie, you don't need this particular hot viking man to be THE hot viking man.

If you want closure, lay it all out for him. Tell him your concerns and why you think youses should stop your arrangements. If not, just lower your interactions so that it makes it seem like you lost interest.

Hope you sort it out!
Thank you for this! actually, we dont talk anymore.. We got a fight because i declined to vcall anymore and he got mad and he block me. But after a few days he unblock and start flooding me a messages again but i didnt response to him anymore.. Like fr im done, i just realized now my worthy and i deserve better.
 
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heavy weather

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Have you considered that you might be the mark in a long con?

A young woman I know “met” a stranger on line—allegedly from Mexico. After 6 to 8 months of exchanging messages, they gave her a sob story about a dog needing vet care. She sent money to them a number of times. They ultimately persuaded her to come to El Paso, TX where she would meet the handsome man she’d fallen in love with after he crossed the border. While she was in El Paso, she was robbed and assaulted at gunpoint. The police said she was just one of many victims of a Mexican gang that ran this scam.

Be very careful of who you meet…no matter where you meet them.

Be especially wary of on line “acquaintances.” Because you aren’t in close proximity to them you miss many of the subtle non-verbal cues that people send that might otherwise alert you to,the fact that a person isn’t who,and what he claims to,be.
 

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Thank you for this! actually, we dont talk anymore.. We got a fight because i declined to vcall anymore and he got mad and he block me. But after a few days he unblock and start flooding me a messages again but i didnt response to him anymore.. Like fr im done, i just realized now my worthy and i deserve better.
YESSS WORK BITCH YOU DOOO DESERVE BETTER
 
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serph789

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Thank you for this! actually, we dont talk anymore.. We got a fight because i declined to vcall anymore and he got mad and he block me. But after a few days he unblock and start flooding me a messages again but i didnt response to him anymore.. Like fr im done, i just realized now my worthy and i deserve better.
He sounds like a narcissist seeking that supply aka you when he's horny. Just respect your self worth and move on from him
 
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