Advice needed about a friend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Acerola, Jan 15, 2009.

  1. Acerola

    Acerola New Member

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    Hello all!

    Right, I need a bit of advice about a close friend of about 2 years. Let's call him B. He's a lovely funny, talented but humble guy in a up and coming local band. Last week, a few of us sat around my place looking through some photographs I had taken of a gig they played and one of my girlfriends pointed out a freakishly large bulge in B's quite snug 'stage' pants that he does not usually wear, in one of the pictures. The few friends around the computer and I burst out into a fit of giggles and immature pointing, I'm ashamed to admit. We just couldnt stop gawping and I think secretly it turned us all on...well it certainly me. We had never known he was so well endowed! :rolleyes:

    B who was away from the comp on hearing us laughing came over and wanted to know why the amusement. Nervously, I clicked the next pic but he could see it was pictures of his gig and I just made up some lame thing.

    A bit later, B went on the computer and found the series of pictures and asked me to point out what was funny earlier so he could be in on the joke too and luckily managed to dodge answering!

    Somehow however, he managed to find out about our silly immature giggle about his trouser bulge in the pic and brought it up when we got drunk and he got annoyed with me about something unconnected and we had a stupid fight. We have not spoken for a few days.:frown1: 1. I don't want to lose a friend over something so stupid and 2. I just can not stop thinking about him. Doing naughty things to me!:eek: I guess I have always had a soft spot for him but things have always been platonic. The events in the last few weeks have made me so hot for him!

    Um so how do I crawl out of this hole? The whole thing has been brought so out of proportion and it also makes me a bit hurt that he doesn't seem to be annoyed at anyone else about the whole thing!
     
  2. Acerola

    Acerola New Member

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    Sorry about the rant.

    Oh, the other answer is that he's just being fucking precious!
     
  3. Stephenmass

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    Let's see. You've been his friend for a long time and since the "bulge" pic you find yourself interested in him. Could it be he thinks you may be shallow?
     
    #3 Stephenmass, Jan 15, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2009
  4. Acerola

    Acerola New Member

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    No it wasn't just that. We have always been close and there has always been sexual tension there between kind of dormant you can say because we click on other levels that surpass. It's just something that has never happened.
    Also arguing with him recently was just sparky. I don't know how to explain it but we have had silly disagreements in the past but nothing before had left me feeling 'wtf?' in a frustrated, sexual way before.
     
  5. Pierced7.5

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    There can be so many reasons but IMHO I think as you said he is a shy guy. And since you and him are friends for two years he figures you out of all people would not have poked fun at something that is personal and private to him. He may have had an issue with wearing those trousers and BAM you found something he was sensitive about.

    Just my thoughts.
     
  6. novice_btm

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    I foresee hot "make-up sex" in your future. :smile:
     
  7. CALAMBO

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    dear...alcohol related incident...be the bigger friend..invite him to lunch, clear the air quickly...be honest friends need that from friends...who knows what could lead to...do not let this age into something else...
     
  8. Acerola

    Acerola New Member

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    Please don't make me feel worse than I already do. :frown1: I'm already taking the flak for everyone else's behaviour as well as my own.

    :rolleyes:

    Yes, good advice, thanks. I will call him tonight and see if he'll meet me for some food. Thanks. :)

    I should totally look hot for that! :cool:
     
  9. novice_btm

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    Actually, I agree with calambo. You'll be respected for stepping up and making the first move to resolve this. Especially if there's a history between you two, the whole, "Look, we're bigger than some stupid tiff" talk, will most likely get you back on track. If he DOESN'T appreciate that you're taking steps to get back to a friendship, then, big bulge or not, he's an ass for not seeing that you're trying to end a state of negativity. I mean, who WANTS to be in an argument? Well, let me rephrase that. What healthy and moderately well-adjusted person wants to be in an argument? Because, Heaven knows, there are some people that enjoy conflict, however, they can't be well. :wink:

    But when the making-up devolves, or evolves, depending how you look at it, into lust... :tongue:
     
  10. Pierced7.5

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    Oh man. I was not knocking you at all. I didn't mean it that way. I was just thinking of why. I guess I should have answered the part about how to fix it huh? Ok ok ok...

    What is your stance with him now? I mean, are you talking now, are you still friends?
     
  11. Acerola

    Acerola New Member

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    Well during our drunken incident/fight, he started about god knows what, he was lashing out with stupid shit and then came out with something like ''yeah well, you like think it's fun to laugh at my anatomy'' like, out of nowhere so it obviously something he held against me, so to speak. The whole thing is really shameful and ridiculous to be frank.

    He hurt me too and has not called. Neither have I . I think in this case though, I will have to be the bigger man, figuritively speaking. :rolleyes:
    But then, how do I go about admitting my feelings for him, or should I hope and prey it's just a sudden crush and that it will go away?
     
  12. CALAMBO

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    glad to hear you are stepping up...pls advise if sucessful...i trust it will work...and yes you need to be hot as hell...which...will benefit all...hope it works out..
     
  13. Pierced7.5

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    Yes. I agree with the others. Be the big man here. Call him and talk to him. Dont worry about your feelings about him just yet. Rather concentrate on the friendship. If something comes out of it, then let it happen. If you feel you are able to be open and honest about your other feelings then just wait for the right time. IF you guys were truely good friends this will just turn out to be a lil spat.
     
  14. Acerola

    Acerola New Member

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    Thanks all. I will let you know how things progress. :)
     
  15. Phil Ayesho

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    You should send him a card... and in the card you should explain that you did not mean to hurt his feelings, but that he may be interested to know that when women laugh or giggle over a man's bulge, they are not really making fun of him, that they are actually nervously excited and embarrassed over their excitement.

    An embarrassment they cover with giggling.

    This will perhaps get him over the fact that he is being over sensitive about your and other's reactions, and give him the idea that you are interested in him.



    However... do not for one minute think that ANY guy gets on stage in tight pants without being aware of his bulge. He picked the pants to be tight and to show off his bulge...

    But the real risky part is that, like a LOT of guys going on stage, that bulge maybe something he stuffs down his pants to give the impression of a larger dick than he actually has...


    And his seeming strong negative reaction may well have been his fear that you and the other were laughing casue you could "tell" it wasn't really his....

    OR his own nervousness that you may only be interested in him for something he would ultimately have to reveal was fake.
     
  16. Acerola

    Acerola New Member

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    I called once since I posted, but he didnt pick up the phone and so I chickened out without trying a second time. :eek:

    I love this post! My, how insightful. I had not thought about a lot of the things mentioned here. I think maybe the card idea is a little over the top, but maybe I should send him an email explaining what you say...like that it we wasn't laughing at him or his bulge, but rather, admiring it in a rather infantile way. :redface:

    But on your other point, the little fiasco has got round our circle of friends and a male friend of ours has confirmed that B has an enormous package that he has seen in the men's bathroom. B is a very shy, private person so I'm guessing his reaction was embarrassment. He had never even worn those stage pants before either. :frown1:

    *starts constructing grovelling email...
     
  17. D_Maureen Biologist

    D_Maureen Biologist Account Disabled

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    I am older, but not necessarily wiser - IF his friendship is precious to you, TELL him so. And tell him that you have always had an attraction toward him, but didn't want to chance losing the friendship be 'making a move on him.'

    I think he will want to know this.

    JMHO.
     
  18. laughatbig

    laughatbig New Member

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    girl just tell the man yea i was laughing cuz i was nervous about me being a little curiously turned on. If he still gets hurt by what you say, then he is most likely into men.
     
  19. Gboy87

    Gboy87 New Member

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    hi girl.
    I think that you hurt his feelings. you teased him and so he feel frustrated about that. Sure he feel something for you too, because if he had no feelings for you he could say that you should take a ride on that bulge...
    don't you think?! ;)
    You should talk to him asking him sorry for teased him in front of all your friends.
    Of course it's a silly thing and in my opinion there's nothing wrong... but maybe he could feel you a little immature and bitch because you jocked on a thing he feels very intimate!
    Let us know how the story goes.
    Good luck.
    Hugs
     
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