Hi everybody. I've been on this website for a few years now, mostly just eyeballing everything and sometimes getting into some conversations. But now I am getting into something very serious, and I need some advice from you guys.
FYI: For privacy, I will use the name "J" in the place of my boyfriend.
My boyfriend and I have been in a pretty serious relationship for almost a year (in september). He is a former gymnast, and currently a health and exercise science major and also a coach at the gymnastics academy he grew up in. Gymnastics took over most of his time from when he was 7 until he threw in the towel at the end of his senior year of high school. Now, he is a coach for younger girls. He has a super job, which has opened many doors for him, and it will only get better. I am very proud of his dedication.
As for me, I am a studio arts major wanting to pursue a career in fashion. I have a very stern personality, backed up with confidence and just wanting to get things done. J is the most genuine person I have ever met and everybody loves him. He is extremely and sometimes too kind. But that is what makes him such a special and warm person.
Here is my problem.
J and I love each other. Very much so and we know each other more than anyone. When I came out to my parents years ago (maybe 5) it took them a couple of years to become OK with the fact they had a gay son. The same thing with J, except he just came out a few years ago (maybe 2). His parents are very stubborn people. They are very religious but do not tend to apply true Christian morals towards everyday events. My parents love J, I have brought him around them and they grew to love him. I did not meet J's parents because of the fear of what they might say, do, think, or react towards me and more importantly, J.
J just had a major, major jaw surgery. He will be on a liquid diet for 6 weeks and everyday activities are extremely limited. My mother and I went up to the hospital yesterday to see him when he was transferred out of the ICU. His mother was there. Keep in mind, I have never met J's mother. When my mother and I walked into the room, J couldn't speak and his mother did not even acknowledge my mother and I's existence, only when I directly shook her hand when greeting myself and asking her questions about the surgery. She mostly stared out the window or watched the TV. When my mother and I left, she understood how J's mother felt, but still acknowledged the awkwardness.
Today J was at home resting. I went to see him at his house I have only been to a few times, when his parents were not home. Yes, J still lives with his parents and attends college. It was the only option he had. (This has nothing to do with him being a homosexual, and is another story).
Anyway, when J's father returned home, he did not acknowledge me and went to his room to change out of his work clothing. When he came back out, we saw each other for the first time. When I asked how he was doing, he responded in a very cruel tone 'not good. but thanks for asking', then turn away and went outside. I asked J if he was mad because I was here, and he gave me a 'yes, maybe' gesture. That was my first impression of J's father. and Mother.
I do not know what to do. My baby is recovering from an awful procedure that has left him helpless for weeks. I can not go on that long without seeing J, he is my world.
I am asking you fellow LPSG members, have any of you been in a situation with conflicting parental situations like this? Do you have any advice you could give to me? What should I do about J's parents?
Thank you.
FYI: For privacy, I will use the name "J" in the place of my boyfriend.
My boyfriend and I have been in a pretty serious relationship for almost a year (in september). He is a former gymnast, and currently a health and exercise science major and also a coach at the gymnastics academy he grew up in. Gymnastics took over most of his time from when he was 7 until he threw in the towel at the end of his senior year of high school. Now, he is a coach for younger girls. He has a super job, which has opened many doors for him, and it will only get better. I am very proud of his dedication.
As for me, I am a studio arts major wanting to pursue a career in fashion. I have a very stern personality, backed up with confidence and just wanting to get things done. J is the most genuine person I have ever met and everybody loves him. He is extremely and sometimes too kind. But that is what makes him such a special and warm person.
Here is my problem.
J and I love each other. Very much so and we know each other more than anyone. When I came out to my parents years ago (maybe 5) it took them a couple of years to become OK with the fact they had a gay son. The same thing with J, except he just came out a few years ago (maybe 2). His parents are very stubborn people. They are very religious but do not tend to apply true Christian morals towards everyday events. My parents love J, I have brought him around them and they grew to love him. I did not meet J's parents because of the fear of what they might say, do, think, or react towards me and more importantly, J.
J just had a major, major jaw surgery. He will be on a liquid diet for 6 weeks and everyday activities are extremely limited. My mother and I went up to the hospital yesterday to see him when he was transferred out of the ICU. His mother was there. Keep in mind, I have never met J's mother. When my mother and I walked into the room, J couldn't speak and his mother did not even acknowledge my mother and I's existence, only when I directly shook her hand when greeting myself and asking her questions about the surgery. She mostly stared out the window or watched the TV. When my mother and I left, she understood how J's mother felt, but still acknowledged the awkwardness.
Today J was at home resting. I went to see him at his house I have only been to a few times, when his parents were not home. Yes, J still lives with his parents and attends college. It was the only option he had. (This has nothing to do with him being a homosexual, and is another story).
Anyway, when J's father returned home, he did not acknowledge me and went to his room to change out of his work clothing. When he came back out, we saw each other for the first time. When I asked how he was doing, he responded in a very cruel tone 'not good. but thanks for asking', then turn away and went outside. I asked J if he was mad because I was here, and he gave me a 'yes, maybe' gesture. That was my first impression of J's father. and Mother.
I do not know what to do. My baby is recovering from an awful procedure that has left him helpless for weeks. I can not go on that long without seeing J, he is my world.
I am asking you fellow LPSG members, have any of you been in a situation with conflicting parental situations like this? Do you have any advice you could give to me? What should I do about J's parents?
Thank you.
