advice on shaving and/or skin bleaching?

puffinstuff1

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newbie here,

I was in a relationship with a girl for 13 years, who was uptight about sex and didn't seem to care how I looked. So, I let myself go and got pretty overweight in the tummy and above/around the penis area.

I recently went on a date with a 30 something chick. She was a little chubby, but extremely well-groomed. It was full brazilian and it looked like she bleached around the anal area. I have never actually seen a girl that looked that good, clean and even skin tone around her genitals. It was beautiful. Well, she was pretty upfront about some of my shortcomings, most notably me not being shaved.
Also, because of my extra weight around my tummy and groin, i have friction marks on my pubic skin (i'm part hispanic, so i'm darker down there anyways) from wearing tight jeans. Also, in the creases between my upper thighs and balls, it is very dark, almost black.
Any advice on shaving? It seems like this girl, who I hope to develop a relationship with, wants a fully shaved man. Plus, can I use skin lightening cream on my dark areas? If I shaved, it would really show the dark chaffing areas, it is very noticeable and disgusting.
I should also add, until I lose more weight, my penis is enveloped in extra fat in the groin. I'm definitely a grower.........about 2 or 3 inches flaccid. So, if I shave, all you will see is flab around a small penis.

I need to make a decision on what to do..........any advice will be appreciated. I am 8 inches and very thick when hard, I'm hoping that's what she will notice. We haven't done the deed yet