I started a business with a mate of mine last year.
We jokingly agreed that we should split the profits according to our dick size.
We shook hands on it.
I take the view that shaking hands means that "that's that". My mate is bigger than me, but he says we should split 50:50. I feel uncomfortable though that as we shook hands, a deal is a deal.
We both refuse to back down.
Who should back down??
Two things that came to mind when I read you post was: unspoken communication and trust.
You've acknowledged that it was a joke yet you are refusing to treat the agreement with the same spirit in which it was made. Why is that?
If I were to put myself in your shoes, my response would be pride...I wouldn't want to accept his "charity" and I most certainly wouldn't want to admit that I was wrong. More importantly, through my insistence I would want to send a message that says that I am principled (I keep my promises/agreements), that I value him and through this I want him to know that he can trust me, yet at the same time I'd be saying that I don't trust him. I don't trust him enough to believe that he is making the right decision, nor do I trust him enough to know that if I accept his offer he won't end up resenting me for doing so.
If I were in your friend's shoes, I would be sending similar messages your way. I'd be saying that I want you to know that I am looking out for your best interests and I take you seriously enough for you to trust me. Yet at the same time, I don't trust your decisions nor do I trust you enough to know that you won't end up resenting me for taking the bigger portion.
Please bear in mind that firstly, I tend to be over analytical at the best of times. I also don't know either you or your friend so this is all a guess...hence my speaking about myself. You can apply my approach to your own knowledge of self and friend and formulate your own conclusions from it.
I really think that the issue at hand isn't the money, but a fight over who cares the most about the other, who is more principled than the other...at the core of it all, it's a fight to be trusted by the other.
I have two questions for you: Firstly, lets say your business prospered and in five years time your profit was in the millions, however in the midst of it all, you and your friend had become arch enemies and hated each others guts. Would the two of you still have this argument? On what would the decision of how the money would be divided be based?
Secondly, is your friend able to trust your decisions if you base your principles on a whim? Is your insistence constructive or destructive to your friendship?
I would accept your friend's offer. I would also make sensible business decisions in the future because I'd be setting myself and my friendship up for a fall. I hope that this helps. :smile: