Advice wanted

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

ok question for u Mitch. What do you want out of this? I mean you couldn't poss have a relationship w/someone half yr age at yr age. If you were 50 Maaaaaybe. What r u looking for out of this.

 

[DaveyR]

DaveyR the OP's original post was not about the legalities of it. He was asking for advice in general. Also, there is a large difference in maturity between a 17 year old, and a 21 year old.

Of course there's a huge difference between the maturity of a 17 and 21 year old and it varies from person to person. Some 17 year olds are far more mature than 21 year olds. Mitchy has already said the guy is very mature for a 17 year old.

Someone posted that he should wait until the guy is 18 that is why I posted about the legalities of it in the UK.

 

[mitchymo]

ok question for u Mitch. What do you want out of this? I mean you couldn't poss have a relationship w/someone half yr age at yr age. If you were 50 Maaaaaybe. What r u looking for out of this.

Intimacy i guess however long it lasts be a long term thing or a one night stand....it would be a welcome thing eitherway as its been a long time since my last sexual encounter.....i guess i dont really care about romance OR sex.....just the desire for some intimacy is driving me at the moment

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

Of course there's a huge difference between the maturity of a 17 and 21 year old and it varies from person to person. Some 17 year olds are far more mature than 21 year olds. very mature for a 17 year old.Mitchy has already said the guy is really mature for his age.

Someone posted that he should wait until the guy is 18 that is why I posted about the legalities of it in the UK.

It's his bed. If he poops in it, he's the one who'll stink. I've had numerous offers from women with whom I work. I tell them I never do anything with coworkers. If it doesn't work out, it can make for a bad work environment.

 

[dreamer20]

So if an American wants to have sex with a 16 year old they have to go to the UK?

And if a 30 y.o. guy from the UK comes to New York with his 16 year old partner they can be arrested if they have sex?

No, they don't have to go to the UK. The age of consent is 16 in several U.S. states.

Age Of Consensual Sex

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

OK well as a 30 yr old I'm guessing you already know you can get that from someone closer to your age. As to this guy. Just don't expect anything afterward b/c he might be off looking for another 30 or 40 yr old. Good luck either way and hugs!

 

[Mem]

No, they don't have to go to the UK. The age of consent is 16 in several U.S. states.

Age Of Consensual Sex

I always understood it to be 18 within the whole U.S.

Anyway I'm not interested in anyone who can't drink legally.

 

[ledroit]

This lad is very mature....

Maturity is the only issue here, since there has to be some kind of equality for sex, just as for friendship and love. Sounds to me like you should trust your instincts, and see what happens.

The best relationship I've ever had was/is with a guy who is 13 yrs younger than me. It's been 20 yrs so far. Age doesn't predict or guarantee anything. People do.

 

[mitchymo]

It's his bed. If he poops in it, he's the one who'll stink. I've had numerous offers from women with whom I work. I tell them I never do anything with coworkers. If it doesn't work out, it can make for a bad work environment.

The vast majority of new relationships begin in work environments....at least that is what the stats in th uk say.....it seems your perhaps in danger of missing out.....your not more likely to find your ideal partner in a social environment or supermarket etc etc than you are at work.....if it goes pear-shaped it doesnt necessarily mean it will spill over into your working environment.....your relationship with other co-workers is unlikely to change because of it

 

[DaveyR]

Anyway I'm not interested in anyone who can't drink legally.

Why? Do they have to be drunk before you can get them into bed? :tongue::wink::biggrin1:

 

[mitchymo]

Maturity is the only issue here, since there has to be some kind of equality for sex, just as for friendship and love. Sounds to me like you should trust your instincts, and see what happens.

The best relationship I've ever had was/is with a guy who is 13 yrs younger than me. It's been 20 yrs so far. Age doesn't predict or guarantee anything. People do.

I like this point too.....i feel somewhat immature for 29 so with him being mature for his age it kinda brings us closer together on that level

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

The vast majority of new relationships begin in work environments....at least that is what the stats in th uk say.....it seems your perhaps in danger of missing out.....your not more likely to find your ideal partner in a social environment or supermarket etc etc than you are at work.....if it goes pear-shaped it doesnt necessarily mean it will spill over into your working environment.....your relationship with other co-workers is unlikely to change because of it

Oooo you have not worked in the environments where I've worked. The sour relationships have spilled over into the job situation many many times. It became hell for one or both of them.
It is your life, and your decision.

 

[mitchymo]

Oooo you have not worked in the environments where I've worked. The sour relationships have spilled over into the job situation many many times. It became hell for one or both of them.
It is your life, and your decision.

OKAY...i suppose it is different working in an equal workplace, i work with mostly women......not surprising when i tell you there are lots of tears and terrible bitchiness going on.....but so far in-house relationships are confined to just two pairs that get on okay......i'll keep clear if they go to pot then!

 

[dreamer20]

Okay so i'm 30 in a few months.....this lad i work with is 17 in a few months, he has told me he is bi-curious and really likes me.....what should i do?...

When I was as inexperienced, as your lad, I met a nice man who was 27 years older than I at a gay bar. He answered what questions I did have to ask of him about sex there and later at his home. I think you should have a frank discussion with the lad and see where it leads. Find out if he wants to satisfy his curiosity in your comfortable surroundings.

BTW the UK retail firm I once worked for had a policy of permitting employees to date, but married employees were not permitted to work at the same store branch. In spite of this I preferred a separate professional life and private sex life which would not be fodder for office gossip.

 

[2322]

This lad is very mature....a wannabe soldier, he has had more life experiences than i have, i'm not joking.....he is mature enough you have to trust me on that......perhaps i should of used made-up ages to begin with and said i was 35 and he 22 for eg.

Well that's the thing, isn't it? The young man wants to try sex and you seem thoughtful and willing to make it a pleasant experience. It's legal where you live and the age difference doesn't phase you.

As Hootie said, he may not be ready for some of life's experiences but if he's living the life a solider then he's making life and death decisions which, arguably, weigh far more heavily than anything else he will have to face.

I say go for it so long as you remember his age and that he'll be looking to you for how to behave. I would have given a lot to have a guy your age introduce me to a few things at his age.

 

[2322]

This lad is very mature....a wannabe soldier, he has had more life experiences than i have, i'm not joking.....he is mature enough you have to trust me on that......perhaps i should of used made-up ages to begin with and said i was 35 and he 22 for eg.

Well that's the thing, isn't it? The young man wants to try sex and you seem thoughtful and willing to make it a pleasant experience. It's legal where you live and the age difference doesn't phase you.

As Hootie said, he may not be ready for some of life's experiences but if he's living the life a solider then he's making life and death decisions which, arguably, weigh far more heavily than anything else he will have to face.

I say go for it so long as you remember his age and that he'll be looking to you for how to behave. I would have given a lot to have a guy your age introduce me to a few things at his age.

 

[MrToolhung]

So if an American wants to have sex with a 16 year old they have to go to the UK?

Even you are an American you could still be arrested when you reach the US again. Sex tourist.

And if a 30 y.o. guy from the UK comes to New York with his 16 year old partner they can be arrested if they have sex?

They would be arrested for sure, on US soil again.

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

The fact that he is a work mate is what should be an issue. Mixing work and pleasure (especially experimental) is always going to cause problems

 

[Xcuze]

Sounds to me like he's just at a curious age & wants someone to experiment with. If u want to be that someone then go for it.

Is this the same work guy that you threaded about recently or is your workplace just heaving with Gay lust & melodrama?

Or do u think every workmate wants sex with u?

 

[B_JasonDawgxxx]

If you have to ask than you know the answer already. I want to know why you would even want to have sex with a 17 y/o.