Advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Flingz, Jul 3, 2011.

  1. Flingz

    Flingz Member

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    Ok Here it goes...

    Im in the closet, and only 3 people actually know, 3 of my closest friends.

    I've started to really bond with one of them recently, spending alot of time with him and i think starting to grow feelings for him. Now a while ago when i told him i was gay he understood because he told me that when he was younger he thought he was gay and had a 'moment' with his best friend at the time but since then he's abit of a man slut. And says maybe im just curious because i havent been with anyone, i see his point but i know what i am.

    At times i think he is flirting or teasing me, because he will hug me (from behind), rub my leg, walk around shirtless, ask me to stay over and when both drunk kiss me. now apart of me wants to go along with all of these lil teases or acts of flirtation but the last thing i want to do is ruin what we have. I dont think ive had a friend who i am so open with and feel completely myself.

    But the fact that he has told me he once thought he was gay and has done 'something' with a guy before just makes me really want to go for it.

    *edit* Also to add to the complication he broke up with his girlfriend about 5 months ago who he was seriously in love with and still has feelings for who is also a mutual of mine.


    Advice? thoughts?
     
    #1 Flingz, Jul 3, 2011
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2011
  2. Vein Man

    Vein Man Member

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    Go for it. He is inviting you.
     
  3. dolfette

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    some people are flirty, try anything once types.
    if i were you, i'd be wary of screwing up a friendship by making things awkward between you.
    could it be that you're fixating on him because he's the only person you're close to who has had any real homosexual experience? if it is then maybe you need to get out and meet a few gay guys...which is a scary prospect i'm sure.
     
  4. Flingz

    Flingz Member

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    I do know other gay guys, but they dont know i am. i could be that i am fixating and in a way i hope so. i duno =[
     
  5. jorpollew

    jorpollew Member

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    If you're gay and and still experimenting with your sexuality, then "friends w/ benefits" is a good way to go. Consider this as your time of "sex discovery" with a friendly tour guide.

    When I came out during college, I experimented with several friends. My FWBs helped me determine what I liked and didn't like to do in bed. Fumbling around in bed and figuring out where certain body parts fit best was easier to do with a trusted friend than a stranger.

    The best part of FWBs is getting honest, constructive criticism. For instance, I found out that dirty talk turns me on and I am a "domonant bottom". I also found out that my bjs were just okay, but I had great ass stamina. Crude, but vital information to know.

    Many of my FWBs are still my friends today-- 25+ years later. I'm in a LTR now (and so are thay), but our casual, "no strings attached" "one night stands" didn't hurt our friendship. It fact, I'm sure it helped me with dating and my future relationships.
     
  6. Flingz

    Flingz Member

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    thanks very helpful but were/are your fwb's straight or gay also...
     
  7. Rikter8

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    I'd say proceed with caution. If it happens, make sure that its an understanding of "just sex" or just fooling around.

    Do you walk shirtless around this guy? Mabee minimize a bit in your undees and see what happens. If he grabs your dick, then you know your OK.
     
  8. helgaleena

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    Rikter is right. He's beyond flirting in my view, he's extremely comfortable invading your personal space for cuddles at the very least. So whatever you do with him, talk about it and get his permission to proceed first. Just like with a female, remember no means no and you might end up with blue balls. However the confusion this is causing you has to be rectified!
     
  9. Pecker Check

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    Just as there are times when talking too much can be bad, there are times when talking too little can mess things up. You've described a close friendship that strives for mutual understanding, still you are confused by what seems to you to be your friend's mixed signals. Would it make sense simply to ask whether you're having fantasies or he's also uncertain about how to go? If you approach it gently you should both be able to pull back if that's the right thing to do.
     
  10. Flingz

    Flingz Member

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    I think next time we get drunk ill just hint something and see where it goes from there if he shoots me down ill just play the joke card...
     
  11. luvmycock

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    hope all goes well
     
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