Affection in public

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah, Apr 12, 2007.

  1. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,455
    Likes Received:
    14
    I was just wondering how comfortable you guys are with showing affection in public. I mean moreso along the lines of saying "I love you" or a sweet little kiss etc in front of mates. Do you look around to see if anyone is watching before you kiss or are you happy for the world to see?

    Are gay males inclinded to be more affectionate with each other?
    Are straight men holding back for fear of looking un-masculine?
    Do gay men get ridiculed for being affectionate in public?
    How far will you go before you become shy?


     
  2. dongalong

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    5,313
    Likes Received:
    1,782
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Paris (FR)
    In Paris affection is everywhere, it is perfectly normal for couples to be kissing anywhere and everywhere.

    The only time I would hold back is when it might make the surrounding people uncomfortable: singles, families etc.

    It is a bit sickening to see a couple in love when you are so alone!
     
  3. Beanie

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2007
    Messages:
    805
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    195
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    South wales, UK
    Verified:
    Photo
    yeah i agree its allrite in the UK as long as you repect other and theres nothing worse than being the only single aroun a bunch of couples that are being all loved up and it just makes you feel so alone.

    And i would say that str8 guys do it every where and that being un-masculine isthe opposite of what they feel. I think that if they are happy with their partner then they want to show them off especially in pulic as to say "look who iv got and you havent".

    And i think that it is extreemly hard for gay men and women to be affectionate in public because there is always the constant worry about who you would offend. There is always some one some where that will judge you for what you are doing and to avoid hassle you just cant do it.

    Or thats just what i think...
     
  4. Dave NoCal

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,995
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    256
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sacramento (CA, US)
    Last week in the California State University,Chico student newspaper, "The Orion."

    Students jumped downtown in apparent hate crime



    By: Karen McIntyre

    Issue date: 4/11/07 Section: News
    • Page 1 of 1

    function goPage(newindex) { currentLocation = getThisPage(); cleanedLocation = ''; // If this is an SHTML request. if (currentLocation.indexOf(".shtml") > -1) { // Detect if this is a request that already has a page specification. if (currentLocation.indexOf("-page") > -1) { cleanedLocation = currentLocation.substring(0, currentLocation.indexOf("-page")) + '.shtml'; } else { cleanedLocation = currentLocation; } // Only add the "-pageX" suffix when the page index is higher than 1. if (newindex != 1) { cleanedLocation = cleanedLocation.substring(0, cleanedLocation.indexOf(".shtml")) + '-page' + newindex + '.shtml'; } } else { // Only add the "-pageX" suffix when the page index is higher than 1. if (newindex != 1) { cleanedLocation = currentLocation + '&page=' + newindex; } else { cleanedLocation = currentLocation; } } document.location = cleanedLocation; } function getThisPage() { currentURL = '' + window.document.location; thispageresult = ''; if (currentURL.indexOf("?page=") > -1) { currentURL = currentURL.substring(0, currentURL.indexOf('?page=')); thispageresult = currentURL; } else if (currentURL.indexOf("&page=") > -1) { currentURL = currentURL.substring(0, currentURL.indexOf('&page=')); thispageresult = currentURL; } else { thispageresult = currentURL; } // Make sure the URL generated by this fuctnion is compatible with mirror image. thispageresult = thispageresult.substring(7, thispageresult.length); thispageresult = thispageresult.substring(thispageresult.indexOf('/')+1, thispageresult.length); thispageresult = basehref + thispageresult; if (thispageresult.indexOf('sourcedomain') > -1) { thispageresult = thispageresult.substring(0, thispageresult.indexOf('?')); } return thispageresult; } Junior Kurt Feudale will think twice about putting his arm around a friend while walking downtown.

    He and fellow Chico State student Rob Felicano were jumped early Friday morning in an apparent homosexual hate crime.

    Feudale is not gay. Neither is Felicano, 22. But it might have looked that way to the seven or eight men who pinned the friends against a wall and beat them up at Fifth and Cherry streets, Feudale said.

    The two men had left Joe's Bar and begun to walk home. Feudale said he was consoling Felicano, who was upset for an unrelated reason, when the attackers began making remarks like "just slap him" and "tell the bitch to shut up."

    Feudale told the men to shut up, and the group attacked them. Feudale escaped uninjured, but Felicano was left with a swollen nose and cheekbone and possible kidney damage, Feudale said.

    Feudale called 911 to try to catch his attackers, but authorities were unsuccessful, he said. Felicano refused immediate medical attention and was treated at the Student Health Center later that day.

    People who randomly jump others are hard to catch, Sgt. Dave Barrow said. Often police are left with a generic college-aged description.

    Close friend Maggie Cole said she is 99.9 percent sure her friends were attacked for looking gay.

    Both men dress fashionably, take a long time to get ready and are affectionate, Cole said.

    "They have the raging hormones of college men, but every other mannerism looks like they're gay," Cole said. "They look like American Eagle poster boys."

    Feudale said he is more "metro" than the average guy but was not worried about it before.

    Cole said she has friends who are gay who are also concerned about going downtown alone.

    Even though Feudale and his friend are not gay, Barrow said the attack was still a hate crime if the attackers perceived the men to be gay. Cole agreed.

    "A hate crime is not determined by the orientation, race or religious affiliation of the victim; it's the perception of the attacker."

    Karen McIntyre can be reached at kmcintyre@theorion.com



    Page 1 of 1

    It's not just about comfort. It's about safety.
    Dave
     
  5. BobLeeSwagger

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2003
    Messages:
    1,481
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    The only part of "public display of affection" that annoys me is the "display" part: when it looks like someone is just showing off. When you both feel like kissing or holding hands, then I don't care who's looking.
     
  6. burns1de

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,789
    Likes Received:
    8
    To me, there is nothing 'un-masculine' about showing affection to the girl I'm with, in public or not. I don't mind making out, grabbing her ass, her grabbing mine, etc. I couldn't care less what others are thinking. I guess it's all that French/Latin blood in me, lol.

    I just need to be careful not to pop a boner in public 'cause I wouldn't want to impale someone accidentally. :p
     
  7. smoothrnb

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2006
    Messages:
    2,382
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kansas
    My partner and I regularly display our affection in public. We don't do it just to show off; we do it because we want to. We have never had any negative comments/feedback.
     
  8. tripod

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2006
    Messages:
    5,250
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    465
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Statesville N.C.
    I usually need to keep my hands to myself because I am a touchy-feely person. I DO however find the men or women who do that stuff in public just to send messages to the competition that he or she is mine pretty pathetic.

    You see it all of the time at clubs, the jerk thug who is all over his girl looking at the crown out of the corner of his eye with a smirk on his face. It happens less often with women because they are a more advanced form of human with no need to do that sort of prehistoric territory marking.

    I live in North Carolina where it is HIGHLY frowned upon for PDA's from homosexual couples to be seen in most circles, there are gay communities in North Carolina but they are scattered and small in number. I've never seen a PDA between a homosexual couple in public in the entire 17 years that I have lived here.
     
  9. burns1de

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,789
    Likes Received:
    8
    That's quite the bold statement you've got there...
     
  10. B_big dirigible

    B_big dirigible New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    2,739
    Likes Received:
    0
    I don't like it, personally. If it's a situation in which it would be inappropriate to, say, drop my pants, then it's also inappropriate for me to be all over her. And vice versa, of course.
     
  11. hrconsulttex

    hrconsulttex New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    Most of the time my boyfriend and I don't worry about it to much, and don't hesitate to show affection for each other in public. We don't start making out in front of people (that's just not our style), but a short, sweet kiss on the mouth, holding hands, and walking down a sidewalk with one of us putting his hand around the back of the other's shoulders are all things we've done very openly in public. And we live in Texas, not a place you'd expect to see a gay couple showing affection in public. Granted we live in a major city and a very large gay community, but it's still not something you see all the time. We're not necessarily trying to make a statement, but instead just doing what comes naturally for us. After all, if a heterosexual couple can walk around holding hands, why can't we?
     
  12. vinnyc

    vinnyc Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Messages:
    88
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC
    I generally enjoy walking in the streets with my boyfriend, holding hands each other. The first time, he took my hand I was quite embarrassed but I really found it pleasant and cute afterwards. Some people looked at us affectionately with their eyes saying "how cute it is" and not only gay men, but also old ladies who would smile to us.

    I broke up with him since then, but I still like holding the hand of my current boyfriends. Hope they will appreciate and get used to just like I did.

    see ya'
    vinnyc
     
  13. kiska69

    kiska69 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    on a hill
    geeve
    as long as its only kissin i think its alright or verbal affection
    anything further isnt right
    you gotta remember when ur out in public its not about just u 2 theres other ppl to and they may not appreciate that
     
  14. burns1de

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2007
    Messages:
    1,789
    Likes Received:
    8
    Yeah... too bad for them, huh? :D
     
  15. representin

    representin New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    LA
    lol i like it. i like to kiss in public and do touching too. it sort of turnz me on. i dont think i would have sex in public but i would do some stuff close to it
     
  16. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2004
    Messages:
    1,852
    Likes Received:
    12
    I have never had any problem in showing affection in public: holding hands, kissing, caressing, using sweet words with my girlfriend.

    Being tender and romantic is a part of my personality, and so I feel I have nothing to hide or to be ashamed of.

    The only limits I consider are related to the respect to the others, and so I tend to avoid behaviours that could offend the persons surrounding me (i.e. french kissing in front of my grandmother lol).
     
  17. abvavrg

    abvavrg New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2006
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm totally and completely fine with PDA. When we first started dating, my girlfriend wouldn't even hold my hand in public and it was torture for me (not in a good way).

    I don't really understand why some people are so uncomfortable with it.
     
  18. rand0m

    rand0m New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2007
    Messages:
    20
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Vancouver
    i loved travelling in sth america.

    PDA is totally accepted.. and expected to get pretty raunchy anywhere. Its honest, and i mean, its great fun. so why not!
     
  19. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Tripod,

    There could be a reason. Did you know homosexuality is still illegal on the books in NC and in SC? As for women not marking their territory, I have seen more than I ever wanted to of that sort of behavior. I usually occurs when the partner or mate is talking to another female be it however innocently and all of a sudden an arm snakes around said partner to show, "Hands off" to any perceived or potential poaching females. Hey, I say get over yourself! LOL!
     
  20. Love-it

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern California
    My family does not show affection but it is easy and comfortable for me to walk with my wife, holding hands and most of the time I am not embarrassed to kiss her in public. She gets embarrassed when I put my hand on her butt or cup her breast but I always scope out whether anyone would see us or not.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted