Afraid Of Anal Sex With A Big Cock (don't Judge Please)

BlackTrumper

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Hello everyone, I'm a gay 25 year old man and I'm a virgin. I been wanting to lose my virginity for a while now but I'm actually afraid to do it. I do want a guy with decent size cock but I also know how painful it would be for me to take it, even with lube. Physically I'm ready but mentally I'm not. Is there anything I should do to help me with this issue.
 
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sjcgymrat

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Guys react to penetration differently. Some are inconvenienced more than others. You’ll probably be nervous the first time and that doesn’t make it easier. My suggestion is to get him to do a lot of finger play beforehand. Once you’re accustomed to that, get brave and give him the go ahead. Let us know how it goes.
 
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Wooly Mammoth

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You can also start with a small dildo and explore your ass with it. The pain from fucking is transient as your second sphincter opens up. See how a dildo feels. You have control of how deep and how fast.

There is a lot of pleasure in being fucked. The prostate massage is wonderful. Also, if you like and/or care for the guy, the pleasure has meaning. Enjoy!
 

AceWilde

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This is going to sound kind of crass, but it's helped me get past that mental issue before:
Just remind yourself that you've absolutely taken bigger dumps than the majority of dicks out there. LOL I know you mention wanting to go with one that's on the bigger side, so you'll want patience, stretching, and a lot of lube. But seriously, there's a really good chance you've already passed something bigger than average or lower sized dicks. So your body CAN handle it, and you just have to remember that.
 

DiomedesXVI

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A lot of big dick guys like me know what we are packing and if you find a guy who cares about the bottoms he tops, then he’ll likely readily admit that his cock is not a “starter cock”, i.e. not ideal for virgins.

I definitely know mine isn’t a starter cock, yet I have taken a few virgin holes. Doing so required a lot of prep through foreplay and the bottoms often prepping beforehand such as with a dildo. As mentioned in thread already, dildo prep is the best prep you can do. If you truly want to prep for a larger dick, then you’ll want to have a dildo with a 6” girth at minimum, length is good at 7” but that is really up to you on how long you want your prep dildo to be.

The difficult part in any anal sex is fitting a dick’s girth. Length can be an issue but is typically less so, because you can simply not insert the entire length. I’ve definitely gone a few times topping where I’ve only inserted 3/4 of my length and not the whole thing. Girth, however, is an all or nothing though. Sadly I’ve been declined for my girth a good many times too, either from the start or after much effort trying to insert my dick and it just being too big for penetration. Foreplay can help, but is limited in how much it can help, because foreplay is in the moment and sometimes much more time is needed for the bottom to relax. So that’s why I really advocate for bottoms to self-prep before ever seeking to hookup with big dick guy.
 

CraigS41

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My first was about 7.5" long and almost 6" thick. He was a Perfect man to take my cherry. Extremely patient. He lubed up his dick and pressed it against my hole with medium pressure and held it there till my body let him in. There was absolutely no pain, only pure pleasure
 

dogstar101

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A lot of big dick guys like me know what we are packing and if you find a guy who cares about the bottoms he tops, then he’ll likely readily admit that his cock is not a “starter cock”, i.e. not ideal for virgins.

I definitely know mine isn’t a starter cock, yet I have taken a few virgin holes.

Don't you find the virgins just get more pester once you say you do not have a starter dick. I explain that is is no fun for either of us is they are too tight. My BF is okay now but when we met he had to use a buttplug before sex to open up enough. I think a lot of virgin bottoms think we are joking. Always start small.
 
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Find a guy with experience. Fucking a virgin takes a lot of patience. Chat with the guy first, let them know and wait until you feel ready.

in addition to this, the 'mental' bit and nervousness can be significantly reduced if you know, like and have some trust in the guy which takes time.

so perhaps rather than saying you want to be fucked start of with just mutual play with a guy you like and let it naturally lead you where you want to get and if that takes time so be it.

All the suggestions re fingering, dildos etc are great but when you're actually with a guy and faced with being fucked by an actual person and you don't have the same level of control over what they do, how they do it, etc your mind still needs to be in the right place too.

with my current bf who was a virgin it took us a couple of weeks before we started penetration and even then it was a while longer before he took the whole length let alone a proper 'fuck'. Some guys take to it easier, but trust and getting over the mental block are probably key.

good luck
 

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Don't you find the virgins just get more pester once you say you do not have a starter dick. I explain that is is no fun for either of us is they are too tight. My BF is okay now but when we met he had to use a buttplug before sex to open up enough. I think a lot of virgin bottoms think we are joking. Always start small.
Yes, unfortunately. I think it’s an ego thing. I tell someone who has no experience taking a big hulking dick, that they shouldn’t be overeager and start off with a big one like mine, and they think I’m trying to challenge their integrity or something. More often than not, they try to get with me even harder.

Like, no I’m not trying to goad you or say that you’re not good enough for my absurdly sized donkey dick haha :emoji_eggplant:, I’m saying that you should lose your virginity to a more sensibly sized penis :emoji_hot_pepper:. I’m trying to save your hole here haha. :joy:

I’m also trying to save my patience and my time, especially if I go through a ton of effort to try and give you what you want but in the end we have to give up because you can’t relax enough to fit me. Taking a cock with over 6.5 girth is no freaking joke, and that’s not even including my crazy length afterward. :emoji_horse_racing:

Some people just overestimate their potential :confounded:
 
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goodandbed

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Hi there. I can see the fear and hesitation you have when it comes to losing your virginity but I can also see how important it is to you that your partner will be hung. I know it too well. I too wanted to lose my virginity with a hung guy because I thought it would be this simple and euphoric, and boy - I was wrong. I was NOT prepared for it, and not only I wan't prepared for it - it was painful and the pain lasted for WEEKS after. I understand the enthusiasm with big dicks because they're great, but if you don't feel like you can take it, you have two options:
1. Practice: explore yourself first with different sizes toys and slowly go from the less girthy ones to the thickest ones. You can also ask your partner to take it easy on you and start with toys or fingers before getting to the "boss level".
2. You can have fun with a big dick even without anal sex. Blowjobs, habdjobs or just general physical touch is awesome and great and can make you feel good.

Most important thing to remember is that consent is everything, and being aware of yourself and listening to your body is even more important.

Make it count, play safe and have fun :)
 
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AfterHours69

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Hello everyone, I'm a gay 25 year old man and I'm a virgin. I been wanting to lose my virginity for a while now but I'm actually afraid to do it. I do want a guy with decent size cock but I also know how painful it would be for me to take it, even with lube. Physically I'm ready but mentally I'm not. Is there anything I should do to help me with this issue.

Mentally ready is the most important part. Your body is going to be like, “What are you doing?” no matter what the size. THAT BEING SAID, once you get past that…
 

FreddieCrunk

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How very insightful to think this through. I say that as someone that was a bottom once way back when without the intellect and compassion of someone like you. I have never been a top. As I watch what I type I see that might need to be said. I have had "gay" encounters but random and oh so fun and even more oh so odd. Anyway, I was inadvertently living in a mostly
"gay" area of Albuquerque.

If you are straight and want to get more pussy than you deserve or want move into what people call a "gay" area. First and foremost the people you live around will be the funniest and most evolved human beings you have ever seen. Secondly, you will get effed all the time. More than you actually want.

Anyway, I used to run like a hundred miles a week. My roommate was gay and he had guys over and I had my gf over. The walls were thin so gf was entertained. She had never been around a gay person. I recall her saying something akin to "they sound like us except both voices are baritone." It made me chuckle. She grew up in farm country so she was just being a nube and glib. Nothing meant by it.

So anyway yet again. One of guys my roommate had sex with could not believe I had never had sex with a guy. He was like a republican except the exact opposite. "How could someone be in their twenties and not have had sex with a guy?"

How Toledo do I type too much. Just do it. Whatever is whatever. Hopefully you will be more fortunate than I and it will not be your only time.

Anyway, said guy joins me naked in shower some Saturday afternoon. I ran a lot back in the day. Saturday was invariably the monster run.

I was slightly surprised but not put off. I was not. He was. Aroused.

I knew my dick pretty well. Ha, ha. My dick by definition was normal in all regards. He was rather big for my single dick reference.

I have seen some porn in my day. After this event anyway. I could give numbers but those are silly given so dependent upon the person measuring. I will say that there was a porn star that used the name Billy Glide that was like this guy. You know, no wasted length. The size were it matters to all those except the exceptions. In girth.

Well, he was a sensually and sexually gifted lover. Lots of soaping and washing and touching.

Then he took me on my bed. I was a willing participant.

He was too big for me in spite of his skills. But I did it to completion and oh my was I happy when he started grunting like pig in heat. Near his orgasm.

I took him and I am glad I did. Truthfully or not he told me I had the tightest ass he had ever effed. I didn't know what that meant but by the tone I gathered he had enjjoyed effing me.

I had just gritted my teeth the entire time. I always finish what I start and so be it.

If I ever have a top again I sure want to do better than just take it until they are done. So I hope they are more normal in size if not "smaller" than average so I can effe them back while they do me.

But whatever they have I will enjoy it. Whether that enjoyment is more endurance than endearing be damned. They didn't pick their dick size but I picked them so full speed ahead.
 
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thongboy

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Have some fun with finger, dildo, and butt plug play. That will get you used to being opened up back there, and your own experiments will help introduce you to the pleasure factor. Be cautious about the kind of macho stud who thinks it's some kind of demonstration of his own superiority to take a virgin ass and who boasts that he's going to fuck your brains out. And if you think a cock is too thick, never be afraid to say no. I'm vers with a big cock, and I've had bottoms turn me down, and I've said the same to a few dudes who want to fuck me. Bottom line: it's your body, your ass, and the final decision is yours.