Afraid To Meet Me!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by goodwood, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    Ok -
    So this hot chick in Chicago that i have been in touch with through mutual friends has seemed great. We exchanged pics. e-mail and text and talk on the phone almost everyday. We've even had phone sex. So it's not like we are complete strangers.
    She was visiting her parents this past weekend just an hour from my house. I thought we might get together, hang out, see what happened but it didn't work out. As busy as my weekend was, i would have taken the time to meet up with her. Well, it didn't happen. And here is why in her own words from an e-mail this morning:

    I would have liked to have met you finally this weekend. However, I’m a bit nervous to get involved with someone who lives so far away. My life is complicated enough at the moment, and the thought of meeting you and falling for you, when you live 3 hours away is just not something I can handle at the moment. I’m sure you feel the same way.

    What the FUCK is THIS about? Who DOESN'T meet someone b/c they are afriad they will like someone TOO much?
    So what - we couldn't meet and hang out for a couple of hours without it turning into some major thing?

    I've got to tell you - i am PISSED OFF. I think it's bull shit. So far 2 of my friends think she's trouble/has issues and leave well enough alone.
    What do you think?

     
  2. flaman

    flaman New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2006
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Florida
    Good advise from your friends GW. Leave well enough alone. Sounds like an excuse to me. Three hours away is not that far. Sounds like she has her own issues. She lead you on. Theres are plenty more ladies out there for you. Some who will really appreciate you. She will only make your life more complicated. She probably done you a favor. I would just move on.
     
  3. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    Goodwood--I think that you have probably been spared a lot of needless drams. Sadly, many people, when faced with having what they really desire finds ways to sabotage it before it even actualizes. 3 hours difference is not the end of the world. I know many people who have sustained relationships over a greater distance. What's more, long distance relationships should not be long distance forever. I know it probably feels weird right now, but I am thinking this is for the best. If someone really wants to be with you, they will move heaven and earth to be with you and time and distance will not be (permanent) obstacles.
     
  4. OCMuscleJock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Messages:
    3,292
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    908
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Luis Obispo, CA
    Everything happens for a reason. Always room for Miss Next. :)
     
  5. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    Yeah, thanks guys. wow. everyone seems to be having the same opinion.
    well, i guess i will say "WHEW! Dodged a bullet on that one" and move along.

    But even if you thought you would really like someone too much, wouldn't you at least want to have spent a little time with them rather than none? i would.
     
  6. Stephenmass

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,886
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston
    Even if nothing sexual became of it, I would have wanted to meet her if I were you simply because you two seemed to click so well by your own description.

    I wouldn't write her off though. If you were really getting along prior to that and never met, talk to her about it.

    Communication guy. Very important. Even if she lived around the corner.
     
  7. nice-n-thick7

    nice-n-thick7 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2008
    Messages:
    47
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    30
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Indiana
    Well dude you have been talking to her for awhile now, what's so complicated in her life right now? Has she ever mentioned anything? Is there an ex or soon to be ex and she feels she is stuck in the middle? Did you ever say or give her the impression that you may never move to Chicago that you might move to Dallas instead? I think before you totally write her off you need to talk to her and find out what's going on first. There could be any number of things that she is concerned about and they could be nothing and resolved very quickly if you only talk to her. Either way it'll tell you where if anywhere you two go from here.
     
  8. greatdickismydrug

    greatdickismydrug New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2009
    Messages:
    531
    Likes Received:
    2
    Female checking in here. Here's some advice from your friendly cougar: Sorry, but I say cut your losses and move on unless you are ready for more of the same in the future. She obviously has "issues" and the deeper you get involved with her the harder it will be for you. Not all women are this complicated. Trust me. Hmmm. Well, at least older women are not this complicated ; )
    One caveat, I bet if you drop her and move on she will contact you and start things up again. Be careful. Good luck.
     
    #8 greatdickismydrug, Mar 23, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2009
  9. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    11,908
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northumberland
    Goodwood I think you have had a lucky escape
     
  10. hungtoomuch

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2008
    Messages:
    177
    Albums:
    5
    Likes Received:
    286
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    So Cal
    Verified:
    Photo

    Maybe you dodged a bullet bro...but then again. If this were me, I'd send her another email and let her know how you feel and what you are thinking. If the distance to you is not that much and you can at least get her to meet you, maybe she will feel differently, obviously something clicked with her so I say give it one more try. if she responds and the vibe still isn't there, write her off and move on. One door closes and another opens, all for a reason my friend. Hang in there bud!
     
  11. badgirl22

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2008
    Messages:
    756
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    US
    Verified:
    Photo
    Goodwood I can relate to your story 100% only the sexes are the opposite. Was someone from here actually. I dug him and he seemed to dig me too (mostly) He'd invite me to come but then ignore the invite or cancel. Happened twice - the third time I was fairly close to his house and he couldn't meet even for an hour..Like you, I'd have dropped everything to make it happen (I even took his phone call Christmas morning which my soon to be ex husband has not forgiven me for to this day!). Took me awhile to finally let it go - okay, still working on that to be honest but I'm trying. It's stupid and it sucks and I feel for you.:frown1:
     
  12. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    yeah. i have pretty much decided to just forget about her. not contact her at all and forget about it. if she gets in touch, then fine. i will be polite, but that's it. and there never not a vibe. the vibe was very much present and very powerful.
    and yeah - i know older women are not that complicated. i miss them! lol.
     
  13. greatdickismydrug

    greatdickismydrug New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2009
    Messages:
    531
    Likes Received:
    2
    No need to miss us!! We are ALWAYS here for you. I bet there is a very understanding cougar in your neck of the woods that will make you feel a lot better about the situation. if you invest a little time into that idea the payoff is sure to be there. :wink:
     
  14. Enid

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,402
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    181
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    My home is wherever reality seems elastic and the
    3 hours is not that far away, sheesh. I live much farther away from my love interest, but with iChat and webcams and visits it's not an issue presently. She sounds like she's got issues/drama -- it shouldn't be complicated. I'm sorry.
     
  15. CALAMBO

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2008
    Messages:
    2,028
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    OHIO
    Hey goodwood...her loss..and maybe yours...i suspect she will miss your fine gentlemanly ways...and that maybe your problem...next time if there is a next time with her...ask her intentions...so you are on same page...maybe showing your cards scared her away, who knows...her loss for sure...but as others have said, you may be the lucky one by her exit.
     
  16. goodwood

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2005
    Messages:
    1,804
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    36
    Location:
    Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas
    Hey Calambo -
    thanks for the reply. You can imagine that i am laughing (in a good way, mind you) at your thoughts - her loss/my loss/my problem/ next time - IF there is a next time. lol.
    Her fear is liking me too much and not being able to have me in her life on a consistent, commited, daily basis. But if this is her approach to a relationship with any man, then she will loose out in a huge way for sure. She wants a guaranteed thing that cannot be guaranteed.
    And i have decided to not contact her. So that is that.
     
  17. Gnashin Teefe

    Gnashin Teefe New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2007
    Messages:
    425
    Likes Received:
    7
    i suspect she was not being honest with you about her physical appearance and pics that she shared with you. when faced with a face-to-face meeting, she perhaps had a panic over that point. did u ever do cam with her to see her real appearance?
     
  18. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female

    So true, but hey, Goodwood is moving to Dallas, TX anyway so this is all for the best.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted