I have read over all your posts, and would like to thank everyone for the support you have shown to my husband, Riven650. It's not easy to talk about all of this stuff with friends & family.
Mostly I wanted to say that deciding whether or not to have reconstruction can be very complicated. When breast cancer was first diagnosed in 2003, the option of having a mastectomy was discussed but, due to the position of the cancer and the fact that I large breasts, the surgeon felt that a lumpectomy would provide the clearances they needed and would be less invasive. I was offered the option of having the lumpectomy pretty much immediately, or waiting a couple of weeks and having a reconstruction at the same time. I wanted to move quickly, so opted for the lumpectomy with the option of having reconstruction later. As it happened, the cancer turned out to be a fast growing cluster (14 lymph nodes were also removed from my armpit, 5 of which had cancer). The surgery didn't provide the clearances they needed, so I was very relieved that I had chosen the fast-track, and had a full mastectomy a couple of weeks later. Then the wound became infected (no particular reason, just one of those things), and had to be re-opened and allowed to heal from the bottom up, which took a month or so. When it finally healed I had 18 weeks of chemo and then radiation to make sure. While this was happening I wasn't wearing any sort of prosthesis as it would have hindered healing and, after all the problems, I was adamant that I did not want reconstruction. The method being offered took an area of skin from the shoulder blade area and moved it with it's blood supply to cover the new breast implant. Nine months after the initial diagnosis I was back at work and wearing a silicone prosthesis, which looked good in clothes but was hot and sticky, and caused Riven650 the problems which he discussed in his post above.
Towards the end of 2005 the cancer seemed to have gone away and I discovered that an outstanding breast reconstruction surgeon, who is mentioned in a couple of previous posts, was working at a local hospital. Her method used tissue from the belly instead of the back, which means having a tummy-tuck instead of having a large scar on your back. I went to see her and she was happy to do the surgery, but she pointed out that I would need to have the other breast reduced in size to make a matching pair. That would mean that some of the left nipple could be used to make a new right nipple, although it was unlikely that either nipple would have any sensation. I was put on the waiting list for surgery in 2006.
But in May 2006 I developed inflammatory breast cancer, first below my breast area and then rapidly spreading over my chest and back. I had chemo (which resulted in septicemia) but worked brilliantly on the IBC, and then had a second mastectomy with the removal of 22 lymph nodes. Everything settled down again, I returned to work flat chested and a year or so later I went back to the reconstruction surgeon, and she agreed to do a double reconstruction. However, when I discussed this with my oncologist he pointed out that surgery in the area could stimulate the IBC back to life, so I decided not to do it. By this time I had got used to having no breasts, I wasn't wearing prostheses, and I was aware of the high likelihood of the cancer returning.
So it was no big surprise to be rushed into hospital with 3 inoperable brain metasteses in February 2008, which were treated with large doses of steroids and whole brain radiation, which actually worked. I was let out of hospital on gradually reducing steroids. When asked, my oncologist confirmed that my cancer was now terminal. The IBC came back a few months later, but more chemotherapy sorted that out, and I've been remarkably fit and healthy over the past 2 years.
So how do I feel about breasts and reconstruction? It would be nice to have a pair of breasts instead of lumpy scars from armpit to armpit, but in my case it wasn't really an option, and my scars are itchy enough that I have never felt inclined to go back to prostheses - although I am occasionally tempted to put them on for new friends who didn't know me when I was the proud possessor of a particularly fine pair of breasts. However, I am very aware that it is much easier for me to cope with being so effectively de-sexualised when I have such a supportive husband. Reading breast cancer web sites, it is obvious that many marriages/relationships fall apart under the strain of coping not just with the disease, but with the damage that it does to a woman's sexuality and self image, and the problems this can cause their partners. Only by talking about everything, including all the bad, difficult and unacceptable stuff can a couple support each other, and I've been very lucky to have Riven650 encouraging me every step of the way.
