AGAIN (since once is never enough)

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Lex, Jan 18, 2008.

  1. Lex

    Lex
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    Since from time to time, people need gentle reminders:

    Clearly, the only option is to instruct the bastard to fuck off. Fuck right off.

    Do not pass go, do not collect $200- just fuck right off.


    And die.

    That's right, fuck off and die, you slimy bastard.

    Or, if so inclined, run outside and play the ever popular Hide and Go Fuck Yourself™.

    Fuck yourself on a train, on a plane, in a box, with a fox...

    No matter what the method, the important thing is that you don't forget to fuck yourself.

    Fuck yourself and eat beans, for all I care.

    Fuck yourself at your grandfather's house. Be sure not to fuck your grandfather... This is a common mistake. It is imperitive that you fuck yourself.

    Fuck yourself and send us the pictures, so that we can verify that you have, indeed, completed your mission. WE WILL BE KEEPING TABS ON YOUR "FUCKED YOURSELF" STATUS.

    In that vein, allow me to mention the importance of the ensuing paperwork. You can write this off on your taxes if need be. Certain restrictions apply, but not the kinds of restrictions that get you out of fucking yourself.

    This is a tradition that is becoming something of a lost art, you see. We need as many young, fresh souls to speak the dead language (if you will,) of fucking yourself as humanly possible. So, if you don't fuck yourself, you will be just like the generations past that have made fucking yourself an endangered species. Just like the pandas¹. You heartless, pandacidal bastard.

    Do not confuse this order with Canada's declared Masturbation Month². This is something special, just for you.

    It is YOU that must fuck yourself, you Capitalistic fucktard. How dare you come onto OUR site and try to make money?Stop sucking off soldiers in Guantanamo bay, and GO FUCK YOURSELF.

    (This rant brought to you originally by Madame Zora and Absinthium)
     
  2. lucky8

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    i'll tip my glass to that one
     
  3. B_Monster

    B_Monster New Member

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    Lex, Is this aimed at who i think it is, hes been banned you know. If not, thank you!!!
     
  4. Lex

    Lex
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    Not aimed at anyone in particular--I guess I should say no ONE person.
     
  5. snoozan

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    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    it's still funny. funnier than the first time i read it, in fact.

    thanks lex.
     
  6. Principessa

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    Fuck you and the pink pony you rode in on! :biggrin1: :cool:
     
  7. Lex

    Lex
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    It was a fuchsia donkey, thank you very much!
     
  8. camper joe

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    Wow, I hope he fucks himself.
     
  9. CUBE

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    OK, this better not be me becasue I have had a crush on you since...day one on here...
     
  10. Ethyl

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    *breathes a sigh of contentment*
     
  11. jakeatolla

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    I don't know about fucking myself, but I just had a Cystometry at the
    hospital (scopping the bladder through the penis).

    Does that count ??? :wink:
     
  12. Principessa

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    Not quite, but I hope you are okay. :cool:
    Is cystometry as invasive a procedure as it sounds?:confused:
     
  13. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Oh c'mon. That's hardly an insult. Everyone knows that if I could fuck myself, I'd just NEVER leave the house. :rolleyes: :tongue:
     
  14. D_Gunther Snotpole

    D_Gunther Snotpole Account Disabled

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    So nothing would change?:cool:
    How exciting.
     
  15. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Well, you know, except for that whole fuchsia donkey thing. :rolleyes:
     
  16. D_alex8

    D_alex8 Member

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    Looks more like an ass than a donkey from where I'm standin'. :rolleyes:
     
  17. novice_btm

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Oh! THAT! Well, um, uh, not pink enough for my liking. :tongue:
     
  18. jakeatolla

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    Actually , no, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting.
    Sure did make me want to go pee in a bad way though.:wink:
     
  19. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    You know... I miss Zora. What an awesome lady.
     
  20. Lex

    Lex
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    Fuck right off and die.

    Not you, Kink.
     
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