Age vs. Morals: Which is more important in mate selection

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Principessa, Dec 9, 2007.

  1. Principessa

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    Goodwood brings up an interesting point in a recent post.

    My friend's husband believes that in order for a couple to 'click' and have a lasting relationship, both people need to be within +/- 5 years of each other. He cites common memories and pop culture knowledge as the basis for his theory.:confused:

    I don't mean this in a snobby way; but I think it's more important that both partners come from a similar socio-economic background. Usually this means you will both have the same sense of morals and ethics which is an important component in any relationship.

    Which is more important to you when choosing a life partner or spouse; closeness in age or similar socio-economic backgrounds?

    Or perhaps neither of those things figure into your checklist.

     
  2. snoozan

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    It surely isn't age.
     
  3. SpeedoGuy

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    I like the saying my fencing coach always used: "Old age and treachery can always overcome youth and skill."
     
  4. whatireallywant

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    For me it isn't age. My longest term relationship was with a guy who was 11.5 years older than me. I'd also be perfectly willing to have a relationship with a guy who is 11-12 years younger than me.

    And socioeconomic background isn't really applicable either. I come from a working-class family where almost no one has a college education, and many drop out of high school. But I seem to "click" better with middle-class people who are college educated. But not all of them, obviously.

    For me I think it is mostly common interests and views that matter.
     
  5. Mr. Snakey

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    Age is nothing but a number. The Morals are very important. Neither of us are but we live the Sicillan way in terms of Morals and convictions. I think in terms of age a certain balance goes on when there is a difference. The two ages blend together to create a common ground. Nothing matters when a spark turns into a permanent flame.
     
  6. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    I'd say both age (particularly limited to 5 years) and socioeconomic background are pretty unimportant to the success of a relationship.
     
  7. Skull Mason

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    I don't think similar socio-economic backgrounds make much of a difference at least for me. Although I did date this really wealthy country club girl in college and did my best to turn her out but it got painfully frustrating. I needed a girl with a little but more of the hood in her.

    I think age plays a factor in that she mus'nt be anywhere near my age group. Too much damn drama for those mid 20s girls. I tend to follow the old Malcolm X 1/2 a man's age plus 7 theorem. So plus or minus 5 years aint enough for me. Although that little equation seems to work for me at the moment, but when I'm older it probably won't. 18 and 19 year olds are the fruit of the earth.
     
  8. Ethyl

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    I think both age and socioeconomic background CAN be important to certain individuals if they were taught to consider either/both seriously when choosing mates but neither are important in general. Attiitude, maturity, wisdom, goals, dreams, character, self-awareness and motivation count for a helluva lot more.
     
  9. rob_just_rob

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    I'm more inclined to seek out a woman with similar goals and interests to my own. You'd think that people of similar age would have similar goals, but I haven't found that to be the case. And age has little or no bearing on "morals", I've found.

    Thinking about it, my longish-term relationship partners were

    2 years younger
    10 years older
    1 year older
    3 years younger
    12 years younger
    2 years younger
    4 years younger, and
    3 years younger

    Oddly enough, my goals were the most different from the ones closest to my age. Interests were often similar, but in the big picture, we were trying to pull one another in different directions.
     
  10. naughty

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    I think what Mercurial Bliss said is really quite true. It is generally the case that the more one has in common with one's future mate the easier the road will be but there are the intangibles like chemistry that account for much.
     
  11. B_andyo

    B_andyo New Member

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    my grandparents are 10 years in difference and they ben together for 52 years
     
  12. Bbucko

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    Contrasts are much more interesting than complements.
     
  13. erratic

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    Age or morals? Depends on what you define as "morals."

    Age is less important than most things, but I draw the line at someone who is too old to reference the Simpsons or too young to remember Super Nintendo.
     
  14. whatireallywant

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    This is definitely true. My longest term relationship was with a guy 11.5 years older than me but I like guys that much younger than me, too. And I usually am attracted to guys of a different socioeconomic background than me! I'm from a working-class family and usually date middle-class, well educated guys. I'm not averse to dating a working-class guy, but I have encountered a lot of anti-intellectual attitudes among people of my background. I was bullied at some work places because I'd been to college, for instance.

    What is most important to me is common interests and views with mine. Common interests are not really all that hard to find, but common views seem to be difficult for me to find.
     
  15. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    I don't think age should even be an issue. All of my long term relationships have been with older partners. My current of 4+ years is much older than I am (he's in his 50s and I'm 34), but we have no problems living or sleeping with each other. Society paints this picture of perfection when it comes to relationships and what is technically ideal to the eye... but none of that really matters when it comes to issues involving love and who you decide to spend your life with. As long as you're happy, be in a relationship with whomever you want (as long as it's legal, of course).
     
  16. SpoiledPrincess

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    I think age was much more important when the ultimate aim of a relationship was marriage and children, it made sense for couples to be close in age when being a widow/widower without children for support meant starvation.
     
  17. earllogjam

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    At a certain age...I'd say about 32 or so the age differences become inconsequential. They are not so drastic anymore as you plateau at a level of maturity you keep until you die. Income disparity and lifestyle choices create more friction than age differences.

    Since I'm over 32 I'm going with "morals" as being more important in finding a compatible mate.
     
  18. Stretch

    Stretch New Member

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    There is no absolute formula to answer this question. Whether it's a best friend or a life partner. Everyone, regardless of age or morals, brings baggage with them. The only thing that matters is that your bags match. :smile:
     
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