Age vs. Morals: Which is more important in mate selection

Principessa

Expert Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
Posts
18,660
Media
0
Likes
138
Points
193
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Goodwood brings up an interesting point in a recent post.

My friend's husband believes that in order for a couple to 'click' and have a lasting relationship, both people need to be within +/- 5 years of each other. He cites common memories and pop culture knowledge as the basis for his theory.:confused:

I don't mean this in a snobby way; but I think it's more important that both partners come from a similar socio-economic background. Usually this means you will both have the same sense of morals and ethics which is an important component in any relationship.

Which is more important to you when choosing a life partner or spouse; closeness in age or similar socio-economic backgrounds?

Or perhaps neither of those things figure into your checklist.

Thanks STYLEYUNG - While possessing those qualities, women who have said I would make a great husband were married to husbands they couldn't stand and/or women who had severe low self esteem issues or
who felt they were quote "not from my social background" and believed they would not be accepted.
So - still at a loss. lol.
 

whatireallywant

Sexy Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Posts
3,535
Media
0
Likes
31
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
For me it isn't age. My longest term relationship was with a guy who was 11.5 years older than me. I'd also be perfectly willing to have a relationship with a guy who is 11-12 years younger than me.

And socioeconomic background isn't really applicable either. I come from a working-class family where almost no one has a college education, and many drop out of high school. But I seem to "click" better with middle-class people who are college educated. But not all of them, obviously.

For me I think it is mostly common interests and views that matter.
 

Mr. Snakey

Expert Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Posts
21,752
Media
0
Likes
125
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
Age is nothing but a number. The Morals are very important. Neither of us are but we live the Sicillan way in terms of Morals and convictions. I think in terms of age a certain balance goes on when there is a difference. The two ages blend together to create a common ground. Nothing matters when a spark turns into a permanent flame.
 

Skull Mason

Expert Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2006
Posts
3,035
Media
6
Likes
110
Points
193
Location
Dirty Jersey
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I don't think similar socio-economic backgrounds make much of a difference at least for me. Although I did date this really wealthy country club girl in college and did my best to turn her out but it got painfully frustrating. I needed a girl with a little but more of the hood in her.

I think age plays a factor in that she mus'nt be anywhere near my age group. Too much damn drama for those mid 20s girls. I tend to follow the old Malcolm X 1/2 a man's age plus 7 theorem. So plus or minus 5 years aint enough for me. Although that little equation seems to work for me at the moment, but when I'm older it probably won't. 18 and 19 year olds are the fruit of the earth.
 

Ethyl

Legendary Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2006
Posts
5,194
Media
19
Likes
1,714
Points
333
Location
Philadelphia (Pennsylvania, United States)
Sexuality
99% Straight, 1% Gay
Gender
Female
I think both age and socioeconomic background CAN be important to certain individuals if they were taught to consider either/both seriously when choosing mates but neither are important in general. Attiitude, maturity, wisdom, goals, dreams, character, self-awareness and motivation count for a helluva lot more.
 

rob_just_rob

Sexy Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2005
Posts
5,857
Media
0
Likes
43
Points
183
Location
Nowhere near you
I'm more inclined to seek out a woman with similar goals and interests to my own. You'd think that people of similar age would have similar goals, but I haven't found that to be the case. And age has little or no bearing on "morals", I've found.

Thinking about it, my longish-term relationship partners were

2 years younger
10 years older
1 year older
3 years younger
12 years younger
2 years younger
4 years younger, and
3 years younger

Oddly enough, my goals were the most different from the ones closest to my age. Interests were often similar, but in the big picture, we were trying to pull one another in different directions.
 

naughty

Sexy Member
Joined
May 21, 2004
Posts
11,232
Media
0
Likes
39
Points
258
Location
Workin' up a good pot of mad!
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I think what Mercurial Bliss said is really quite true. It is generally the case that the more one has in common with one's future mate the easier the road will be but there are the intangibles like chemistry that account for much.
 

erratic

Loved Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Posts
4,289
Media
0
Likes
509
Points
333
Sexuality
No Response
Age or morals? Depends on what you define as "morals."

Age is less important than most things, but I draw the line at someone who is too old to reference the Simpsons or too young to remember Super Nintendo.
 

whatireallywant

Sexy Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2007
Posts
3,535
Media
0
Likes
31
Points
183
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I think both age and socioeconomic background CAN be important to certain individuals if they were taught to consider either/both seriously when choosing mates but neither are important in general. Attiitude, maturity, wisdom, goals, dreams, character, self-awareness and motivation count for a helluva lot more.

This is definitely true. My longest term relationship was with a guy 11.5 years older than me but I like guys that much younger than me, too. And I usually am attracted to guys of a different socioeconomic background than me! I'm from a working-class family and usually date middle-class, well educated guys. I'm not averse to dating a working-class guy, but I have encountered a lot of anti-intellectual attitudes among people of my background. I was bullied at some work places because I'd been to college, for instance.

What is most important to me is common interests and views with mine. Common interests are not really all that hard to find, but common views seem to be difficult for me to find.
 

B_VinylBoy

Sexy Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2007
Posts
10,363
Media
0
Likes
68
Points
123
Location
Boston, MA / New York, NY
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
I don't think age should even be an issue. All of my long term relationships have been with older partners. My current of 4+ years is much older than I am (he's in his 50s and I'm 34), but we have no problems living or sleeping with each other. Society paints this picture of perfection when it comes to relationships and what is technically ideal to the eye... but none of that really matters when it comes to issues involving love and who you decide to spend your life with. As long as you're happy, be in a relationship with whomever you want (as long as it's legal, of course).
 

SpoiledPrincess

Expert Member
Joined
Dec 28, 2006
Posts
7,868
Media
0
Likes
121
Points
193
Location
england
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
I think age was much more important when the ultimate aim of a relationship was marriage and children, it made sense for couples to be close in age when being a widow/widower without children for support meant starvation.
 

earllogjam

Expert Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Posts
4,917
Media
0
Likes
186
Points
193
Sexuality
No Response
At a certain age...I'd say about 32 or so the age differences become inconsequential. They are not so drastic anymore as you plateau at a level of maturity you keep until you die. Income disparity and lifestyle choices create more friction than age differences.

Since I'm over 32 I'm going with "morals" as being more important in finding a compatible mate.
 

Stretch

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Posts
2,421
Media
54
Likes
3,051
Points
443
Location
Vienna (Austria)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
There is no absolute formula to answer this question. Whether it's a best friend or a life partner. Everyone, regardless of age or morals, brings baggage with them. The only thing that matters is that your bags match. :smile: