DC_DEEP said:
For my United States compatriots: I was just thinking about various ages of consent in this country, and wondered if anyone else has any comments.
I understand that there are variations in the level of maturity and decision-making ability between the ages of 12 and 21, but does it really take more maturity to be able to buy liquor than it does to enter into a (hopefully) lifetime partnership?
Okay you asked for it.
This, to me, is the most pointed excerpt in your entire opening post DC.
'variations in the level of maturity' OH YES.
Since we're a penis board I'll illustrate my views by personal experience in the realm of what could have been the sexual piece of this thing:
And if one truly believes there exist those 'varying levels' (as I do without exception) then I say it's impossible to wrap notions of morality (mostly-if-not-all based in subjective bias) around most of the details you described law-wise from one state to another.
The meaning of word "maturity" is really in the eyes of the scrutinizing party. On this board we've covered many topics that relate to the social taboos as instituted by many in the "new age of condemnation". Though we talk a pretty logic and promote an "all about the children" sensiblity to what constitutes imposed restrictions of what's called
underage behavior and rights I'm of the belief that much of it is based in fear. We appear on the surface to advocate our children but from what I'm witnessing generally in our society I see an unfortunate homogenization of thinking which discourages individuality (and often encourages mundanity) of thought and expression in youth.
As I suggested in my previous, I think to regulate the drinking age to twenty-one while being able to enter the armed services at eighteen in this country is one of the glaring contradictions that illustrates the inequities of how our "immoral" society works. Fuck... if we're gonna put 'em in front of the canon for fodder let them at least be pissed when they go down for Truth Justice and the A
murkican Way.
I cannnot and will not address the preposterous restrictions on consentual things from one state to the next. By the sheer number of irregularities you list in your opening post I say that says it all.
But I will recount a story to illustrate how I feel about things. Here goes. It's highly personal to me. So please understand that I'm hesitant to give all the details but here you have it in truncated form:
When I was twenty-three I owned a wonderful classic MGB. I'd had it given to me as a gift from my dad when I completed some of my undergrad work. I had it serviced at a garage which specialized in foreign automobiles only. I loved this little red car with its switch for overdrive way to the left of the steering wheel and whizzing down Route 3 toward Cape Cod during a summer afternoon was pretty fucking hot I'll tell you.
Anyhow. The garage at which I serviced the MG was very near where I was living (with my parents at the time). The nephew of the owner (a fellow known and respected by my dad) was a young man of 17 who was more beautiful than most boys I've ever seen (including to this day). "Cliff" was always there.
That little car was always needing something to keep it in top form so I frequented the garage often. More and more (as I spent time waiting for servicing to the MG) I became aware of the solicitous attention of this exquisite looking young man who would beam from ear to ear when I walked into the shop area of the garage. After a year or so of connection I'd developed a rapport with him that was so lovely it was obvious we were attracted to one another.
Remember. That's a pivotal (legally) six year age difference.
Here "Cliff" was easily four inches taller than I. He had shoulders broader than Crawford's and his always-dirty hands were like those on the David. He looked older than I did at the time.
Cliff eventually took my telephone number from his uncle's files at that garage. He began calling me and asking "can we do something together like go out to eat or can you come and get me and we can go to lunch". Since the fantasies in my head about this young man had already reached fever pitch I was cognizant (as was my mum since he was calling twice daily) that his attentions were a bit out of the ordinary.
I didn't encourage or discourage him. But I did agree to take him to the local picnic area for lunch one afternoon. I was curious as to whether or not my suspicions of his intent were as I suspected.
Without going into detail the ride back to the garage that afternoon found itself peppered with his declaration of "love" for me. Cliff is a bright lad and the news was "around town" that Stronzo was "one of them" and Cliff told me he "knew". He told me he was too and that he wanted to spend the night with me. He also told me he "loved" me. I quickly responded; "I know you think you do". That seemed to make him angry oddly. When he said "I know you want to too". I didn't respond at first... only just before leaving him back at that garage.
I'm not going to go on anymore about the conversation than to say I said "no. Much as I return your attraction I can't."
After that I avoided his calls for weeks. My mother, it seemed, every time I entered the door said "Cliff's called again". My heart would sink since I knew in a small community like ours any articulated interest he had in me could easily be "found out" and my parents would be made aware.
I stopped going to the garage after that for repairs and in a month I got a long letter from Cliff who poured out his heart to me and the nature of his dismay. I still own that letter.
............... now to the point of the story...............
Did I want to have sex with him?
Yes
Did I?
No
Was he mature enough to know his own mind about it?
He sure thought he was.
Had the law been different would I have had sex with him?
In a heartbeat
Did the age restrictions of this legal system stop me from following through with our immense physical attraction to one another?
It's the ONLY thing that did.
And I'm very certain for many that's a "good thing" as they say.
So here, DC, is my example (it's hands-on too) of why I think we cannot wrap arbitrary ages around many things. Maybe Joe Jones is too immature to have consentual sex. But Cliff sure wasn't. He was willing, able, more confident than I and still it wasn't something I could allow myself to do.
As an aside Cliff told me he'd been "doing it with other guys" for a while.
No wonder life can be so confusing at times for our adolescents.
Yet- It's my considered opinion (my
obersvational opinion) that had I been a twenty-three year old female in whom he'd sought attention I'd have had a much easier go of it. I don't think I'd have deliberated much since the law (though inclusive to females too) does not bear the serious ramifications it does for two males.
With that knowledge I chose not to indulge the thing. But did I have a hardon every time I was in his company? Yes. So tell my penis how wrong Cliff was for me. If my dick's reaction to Cliff constitutes the conventional cry of "pedophilia" so be it. But for anyone to tell me that fellow was not ready for sex of the most extraordinary manner I'd call them the moron they are.
And tell Cliff's brilliant seventeen year old mind how wrong I was for him....
Then we'll talk turkey.
I have a real problem with some 40 year old slob in a stained t-shirt dictating the morality which governs all these fifty states especially when that forty year old is probably "having at" his adolescent daughter while she sleeps and against her will.
Sorry but morally? - the world's got it's head up its ass and the sky's falling. And if I think about it I'm saddened to see that the moral standard (not necessarily only sexual either) is set by a bunch of hung up frightened pseudo-moralists who wouldn't know real human connection if it was presenting itself to them at a coming out ball.
Oh and by the way? I was seduced by a 32 year old woman when I was sixteen and I have no psychological scars.
Now pass the mashed potatoes. I'm
hungry..... 
