Aiming to become a dom

Pantherrrr

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Hi, ok I hesitated on making this thread because there are lot of misconceptions with BDSM and I want to be respectful as possible since I'm completely new to it. Which leaves you wondering how do I know I want to be a Dom? Well let me tell you. Outside of sex I'm very submissive, I love communication, being checked up on, having someone keep up with me, advise me and overall being pampered by someone well organized. i


However, in the bedroom I like to be the dominant one. I love choking, slapping, kissing and watching the guy that has the pleasure of having sex with me orgasm and get turned on by me penetrating them. But sadly that just doesn't count it for me anymore. I've found myself becoming more aggressive in the behind closed doors and trying to edge my bottoms, tease them and make them beg for me to fill them up. Although I would say I'm a little aggressive in bed I wouldn't call myself a dom at all. Since I know so little about BDSM but I want to learn. I mean I'm 6'3 athletic built and 20 so I feel like it wouldn't much to handle. What do you guys think would be the proper steps in trying to become one? Also I am open to being a sub in order to be taught.If I made any misconceptions feel free to correct me I just wanna learn.
 

Bunny35

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Im no expert, but I guess its about finding someone who is compatible and into the same things. Im the opposite to you, dominant outside the bedroom, but very submissive in bed. Im sure if you talk about what your after and make sure you are both up for things you will be fine.
 

flooble

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Your best bet is to become involved in your local kink community. Being a good dom is about way more than being physically big and choking people. You need to be looking out for your sub's physical, emotional, and mental health at all times. You need to be aware of any triggers they have (e.g. past physical, sexual, or emotional abuse); that means being the kind of person who have have that sort of discussion openly and honestly, and make your sub comfortable enough to open up to you. There's physical risks with any kind of impact play or bondage.

Meet local kinksters, subs and doms, and see if you can find classes on technique, and a dom to mentor you.
 

Brodie888

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Hmmm sounds more like you have repressed anger management issues than the makings of a good dom.

Kinda like the kid who gets bullied at school then goes home and kicks the family cat.
 
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dunk89

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I used to be "sub" but am now more Dom. Its good fun but it does take alot of practice. Its a fine art to be able to "read" a sub to make sure he is enjoying it and you are not going too far etc.

The problem I find when dom-ing is that most subs dont give great feedback. By this I mean rather than moan with pleasure or say "ouch" when in pain, they just seem to sort of stay silent and its hard to know what they are thinking.

I'd recommend you try subbing first and then you'll get to know what its like.
 

Pantherrrr

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Hmmm sounds more like you have repressed anger management issues than the makings of a good dom.

Kinda like the kid who gets bullied at school then goes home and kicks the family cat.
Lol quite the opposite but good try. I give an A for effort. The reason why I'm more aggressive in bed, keep in mind I said aggressive not abusive is because I go along with the energy of the person I'm sleeping with. If I can tell he likes to have his ass slapped, a little bit of choking, and a nice firm grip on his hips then I give him that. Please do not try to push the narrative that I'm some lunk that takes out his aggression on men. Not my ministry. Again nice try, you contributed nothing but that's probably normal for you isn't it?


Anyway, I looked into the local kink groups around my city. I'll be going to a couple to visit and see what info sessions they have. I have also looked into subbing first or getting an experienced Dom to teach me. Subbing doesn't sound too bad especially if I respect the Dom and he's caring. I'll try to find one that meets my needs. Thank you guys so much for the advice. I hope my post didn't come off abusive I rarely enjoy sex as much as the other person. Typically I get off knowing the other person is enjoying it, so I'm not selfish lol.
 
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