Air Force Reindeer identification guidelines

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by ClaireTalon, Mar 6, 2006.

  1. ClaireTalon

    Gold Member

    Nov 10, 2005
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    Puget Sound
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ADDENDUM TO MCM 3-1 VOL 2, CHAPTER 6: FIGHTER AIRCRAFT AND ARMAMENT

    6-8.A.(5) RD-1C REINDEER

    (a) General: The RD-1c is a special operations aircraft used for low level ingress transport and light bombing missions. The Reindeer often fly in a 2 column formation pulling their payload to maximize mutual support and fire power. Despite flying in close formation, a herd of RD-1's have a .01 m2 radar cross section due to stealth technology and natural selection.

    (b) Deployment: North Pole only. Iraq has sent many letters to Santa to try to acquire the system. According to HUMINT sources, however, Saddam Hussein has been on the "naughty" list for the last 50 years and it is not probable that Santa will change his mind soon. Iraq does have a rumored science project to produce a similar system, but it has been plagued by a series of problems including the following: camels are afraid of heights; double humps pose serious aerodynamical problems even with thrust vectoring technology. Qusay Hussein is rumored to be in charge of this project.

    (c) Armament: Although lightly armed, RD-1's have hyper-accurate optical guided weapon systems. It's the only platform that can carry both the YUK-1-8a Deer Patty and the AA-25 Antler. Although it is very accurate, the Deer patty is not a PGM. The number of munitions carried is mission and food dependent. The AA-25 Antler is an extreme close range self protection weapon, additionally, it comes in real handy during mating season. It is highly accurate due to the head mounted sight on the RD-1c. there are unconfirmed reports that the new RD-1r Rudolph has a nose mounted laser blaster giving it an anti-abominable snowman capability.

    (d) Avionics: Most of the guidance commands come from a 500 year old sainted fat guy. It is assessed that the RC-1r has both a pulse doppler radar and an imaging IR capability to assist with chimney targeting. The RD-1 has the world's most advance fly-by-reins system.

    (e) Expendables: See armaments

    (f) Strengths and Weaknesses
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Strengths:
    Very long range
    Low RCS
    Short runway take off and landing
    People don't believe they exist (Stealth)


    Requires elfin magic
    Needs heavy vet support
    Protests from animal rights activists
    People don't believe they exist (No deterrence value).
    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica]
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