Alcohol and the Dating Game

[Jovial]

I can understand that. I think most people assume that a nondrinker is either religious or a recovering alcoholic or had a family member that was alcoholic. I just think that it's not healthy to drink too much too often. Too many people get into a habit of doing it and their life starts to revolve around drinking. Then they can't have fun anymore unless they're drinking. It's a shame that people feel like they need to go to bars/clubs and drink to meet people. Too much peer pressure.

 

[Principessa]

I just think that it's not healthy to drink too much too often. Too many people get into a habit of doing it and their life starts to revolve around drinking. Then they can't have fun anymore unless they're drinking. It's a shame that people feel like they need to go to bars/clubs and drink to meet people. Too much peer pressure.

I agree, Jovial.

After I gave up drinking I had no sex for nine years. Before that I had lots. That sounds like a personal choice to me str82fcuk. I wouldn't blame your sexual drought on being a non-drinker. But now I've found other ways of relaxing and meeting people. I dont mind people drinking a little but I cant go to places with crowds of drunk people or crowds of smokers either (I gave up smoking only five years ago but now really cant stand cigarettes) so now I've become a party pooper lol, no not really, now I just make my own party on my own terms, and sometimes other people join in

If I wasn't drunk as fuck I wouldn't have had a girls tongue down my throat the other weekend.

Reason #1 I will never be drunk in your presence!

 

[str82fcuk]

str82fcuk said: After I gave up drinking I had no sex for nine years. Before that I had lots.

njqt said: That sounds like a personal choice to me str82fcuk. I wouldn't blame your sexual drought on being a non-drinker.

str82fcuk says. Its not blame but there was a definite correlation. Although I had lots of sex before I gave up drinking I had never ever had sex sober so when I gave up drinking I couldnt repress my fears enough to make the necessary moves that woulda got me laid ... of course it was a personal choice to stop drinking so you are at least half right ...

 

[Whopper-lee]

I will take sides with your line of thoughts.
Alcohol & the dating game is not always a good match and esp. if it is not in your nature or system to do it and you can't handle it.
Ever heard the saying: "Watch for falling inhibitions" when there's drinking invovled...it true.
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything and alcohol can and will take you there.
I was a pretty heavy social drinker at one time...almost generally put me in a few bad situations with poor judgement(s).
I did some things that I certainly regreted...including being abusive with my ex- old lady and a few lady friends.
If I had it to do over again, most likely I'd be a total non-drinker; a happier person today having a few precious things I lost in relationships to never regain.
Life is so much better, when you can wake up the next morning and remember with a clear head!

 

[SpeedoGuy]

Why do nondrinkers need a good reason to not drink? It sounds like you have a holier-than-thou attitude by saying that. If a nondrinker said he doesn't mind if someone drinks as long as they have a good reason, that would sound holier-than-thou. And what are the good reasons to drink anyway?

A good point. And the adjective "good" is in the eye of the beholder. :smile:

I avoid casting judgment on the reasons why anyone would choose to drink or not drink. I haven't walked in their shoes and might not know why they make the choice they do. Whether I personally find those reasons good or bad is irrelevant. I just find it tough to presume to assign a value judgment to a decision without having full knowledge of the context of the choice.

Either way, I try to withold judgment on their decision unless the consequences of that decision carry over onto me and my decisions.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Is it easier to date (or meet people) if you drink alcohol? Or maybe I should ask, are nondrinkers at a disadvantage when dating?

it's a disadvantage for assholes, shitheads, and alcoholics

A friend once said that it just gives something in common, like for something to do a guy and girl (or another guy) can go to a new club and have a few drinks. Or it's just a way to reduce anxiety and socialize.

for assholes, shitheads, and alcoholics

And if someone doesn't drink, do they come across as an oddball, as someone that doesn't want to conform? or someone that doesn't like to have fun?

to assholes, shitheads and alcoholics




If you need alcohol to have fun, or to relax, or to meet people, or as a point of common interest, or to date, or to go out, or to have a conversation, or to have sex... you've got a serious problem.
If you feel that other people are somehow wrong for not needing alcohol for any of those things, then you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

I'm just a non-drinker who is really really sick of being made to feel like I'm the one with a problem because I'm not so pathetic as to have developed chemical dependencies that impair my ability to function under normal circumstances. Some of the things I quoted above are just too similar to the insane bullshit that I hear far too often.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

And you think you look cool laughing at the guys on the dance floor too.

and you think you look cool stumbling around in a stupor "dancing"

 

[B_New End]

and you think you look cool stumbling around in a stupor "dancing"

You think you look cool right now?

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

You think you look cool right now?

do you?

 

[RamIt]

So, NIN, your retort to people who enjoy a few cocktails judging you, is to judge them? Only with more malice and cruelty? Thats not like you man. To each their own, no need for the harshness.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

So, NIN, your retort to people who enjoy a few cocktails judging you, is to judge them? Only with more malice and cruelty? Thats not like you man. To each their own, no need for the harshness.

I try to be fair and I try to be egalitarian, I have a lot of libertarian values and don't care what anyone does behind closed doors, but I haven't claimed to be non-judging in a while and if you're passing judgment on me then you're fair game for counter-judgment. (and by you I'm using the universal you here, not speaking to "RamIt") If you clearly have some kind of deficiency, such as alcohol dependency, and because of this adopt some kind of attitude and start attacking those who don't share your sad addictions, then fuck you. Not only is your logic completely backward and asinine, but you're also being a douchebag and you do not deserve my kindness, tolerance, or understanding.

I'm not talking about people who "enjoy a few cocktails." I know people who enjoy alcohol responsibly; who don't get drunk and endanger other people's lives making asses of themselves, inconveniencing friends, and embarrassing themselves and those around them; who don't feel the pressing need to criticize those who don't drink or pressure those who don't want to drink to drink more; who can function perfectly fine with or without alcohol; who don't destroy their own lives and sabotage every relationship they're in in favor of their addictions. Among frequent users, in my experience, these people are more the exception than the rule but they are out there. I wasn't talking about them. If you thought I was then you missed my point.

 

[B_New End]

do you?

No, but I do when I am on the dance floor... and alcohol definitely can help get me there.

 

[B_New End]

I know people who enjoy alcohol responsibly.... .....these people are more the exception than the rule

I disagree. A majority of Americans consume alcohol, only a minoryt of them are dangerous, belligerent or nuisances.

You are paying attention to the loud people. In a bar or club, there will be hundreds of people.... a handful of people get in a fight, and you say... "A HA! People who drink alcohol are more bad than good!!!" This just doesn't add up statistically.

 

[goodwood]

I have a very easy time meeting women while sober be it at Starbucks, at the market, library,the bank, on the street, anywhere I meet them. So alcohol is not a pre-requisite at all for meeting women or dating them.

Charming, pleasant, great eye contact, smiling,considerate, non-threatening works.
While out at clubs or bars I will usually have a cocktail in hand and the same qualities are applied, but I can be a bit more outgoing and a cheeky monkey.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

No, but I do when I am on the dance floor... and alcohol definitely can help get me there.

I'm the first one on the dance floor, dance better than at least half the people in there, and I don't need the alcohol to get me there.

but anyway, no, I don't think I'm cool. Maybe compared to some, but not in general.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

I disagree. A majority of Americans consume alcohol, only a minoryt of them are dangerous, belligerent or nuisances.

You are paying attention to the loud people. In a bar or club, there will be hundreds of people.... a handful of people get in a fight, and you say... "A HA! People who drink alcohol are more bad than good!!!" This just doesn't add up statistically.

You cut out a short but relevant phrase when you quoted me. I said "among frequent users." You may be right that the majority of Americans imbibe alcohol. I don't have those statistics but I wouldn't doubt it. I'm one of them. but I, and the majority of Americans, only drink maybe once a month or less. They're social drinkers, not habitual drinkers, not addicts, and they get along fine without drink. Among the minority of drinkers who drink regularly, it's my opinion that the majority have some kind of problem. but I'm allowing for the possibility that not all of them do.

Also, on this point we may differ, but I'd say 100% of Americans who drink to the point of drunkeness somewhere other than locked in their own homes are, at the very least, a nuisance.

 

[Principessa]

No, but I do when I am on the dance floor... and alcohol definitely can help get me there.

Why is that exactly? I'm not condemning but I have known many men both friends and boyfriends who refuse to go anywhere near a dance floor without first consuming a couple of drinks.

 

[B_NineInchCock_160IQ]

Why is that exactly? I'm not condemning but I have known many men both friends and boyfriends who refuse to go anywhere near a dance floor without first consuming a couple of drinks.

they haven't learned how to let go and have fun without the crutch of alcohol. Because they've always used it, they've never had to develop healthy mechanisms to cope with their inhibitions, so instead they continue to go back to the unhealthy ones.

 

[str82fcuk]

Why is that exactly? I'm not condemning but I have known many men both friends and boyfriends who refuse to go anywhere near a dance floor without first consuming a couple of drinks.

Well its quite simple darling. Although they have had to learn healthy methods of 'coping with' (or preferably greatly reducing) their inhibitions, they, for some or other reason, have not. In my experience, most people, and not only men, are all but consumed by fear, insecurity and acutely painful self-awareness, which all contribute to the creation of unhealthy inhibitions. People without a pathological level of inhibition are both terribly fortunate and very few. The real question I would like answered is why are most of the human species so scared and fear-driven. If we could address this cause of inhibition we would not have to be concerned about determining the appropriate dose of symptomatic relief.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I can understand that. I think most people assume that a nondrinker is either religious or a recovering alcoholic or had a family member that was alcoholic. I just think that it's not healthy to drink too much too often. Too many people get into a habit of doing it and their life starts to revolve around drinking. Then they can't have fun anymore unless they're drinking. It's a shame that people feel like they need to go to bars/clubs and drink to meet people. Too much peer pressure.

I'm in college & everyone I know drinks on the weekends & parties. It's the style on most campuses. Some peeps drink to excess & are out of control. I have to say that I don't drink too much because I try to stay healthy. When I'm at a party though I can get just as crazy not drinking because it's just my personality. People think I'm wasted when I'm just naturally having a good time. I'd say I'm an extrovert.
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