Note that the following might be offensive. If you get offended easily, then uhh, don't read. K? K. All the slang words for masturbation: bashing the candle beating your meat Bleeding the weasel bleedin the weed buffing the banana bopping the baloney burping the worm "beating the bishop choking the chicken cleaning your rifle corking the bat cranking the shank cuffing the carrot "draining the dragon" fisting your mister flogging your dog floggin the frog flogging the hog flogging the log flute solo jerkin'the gherkin looping the mule manual override painting the pickle pocket pinball pocket pool polishing the banister polishing the rocket pounding your flounder pumping the python roping the pony spanking the monkey teasing the weasel "taming the one eyed snake" tossing the turkey walking the dog whipping the willy wonking your cronker yanking the crank. Well I thought this was a funny list, and useful too!