All things being equal... Dude Edition

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by burns1de, Sep 23, 2007.

  1. burns1de

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    I was inspired by Wyldgusechaz's thread on what women look for in a man, and I decided to start this one, but for guys. What do you guys look for in a woman (or other men, if you're gay)?

    Here's my list of qualities that my woman NEEDS to have:

    Open-mindedness - This is BY FAR the most important thing for me. Open-mindedness is an admirable quality that few people really have. Open-mindedness implies respect for others, which entails trust, which are all essential qualities in a healthy relationship, regardless of the type. Close-mindedness is an immediate turn off.

    Intelligence - A smart woman is a SOOOO attractive, it's not even funny. If I cannot have smart discussions and conversations with my mate, then what's the point of being with her specifically? Intelligence almost always comes with open-mindedness. I want a woman who thinks for herself, who doesn't stay glued to the boob tube all day and who's not part of the I-hate-books crowd.

    Physical attraction - Let's not kid ourselves, appearance is very important. If I'm not attracted physically with a woman, I can be friends with her, but the relationship will never go past that. That being said, my woman doesn't need to have a super model-type of body, on the contrary. I love different body types: I've dated/had intimate relationships with all kinds of physical structure - super athletic, chubby, very short, very tall, very large breasts, very small breasts, etc. If overall her body looks good and she feels good about herself, then it's good enough for me. I don't go for extremes.

    Sense of humour - I'm lucky enough to live in a society and a city where the overwhelming majority of people are very good-natured and have a great sense of humour. Life is too fucking short to not enjoy it. I'm very much an hedonist, and I try to enjoy life as much as I can with the little financial means I have. Laughter, thankfully, doesn't cost much and is a great way of feeling good. :smile: A woman who never laughs is a woman who is not happy with herself (again, a massive turn off).

    What I don't particularly care or look out for: affluence, wealth & academic achievements (although I certainly respect that). Some of the best people I know are unemployed and broke, and some of the most intelligent and financially successful only have a high school degree.
     
  2. Trigon

    Trigon New Member

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    intelligence
    authenticity
    humor
    hotness

    Authenticity may be the most important to me, because it keeps me from wasting my time with pretensious, self-absorbed puntas.
     
  3. vince

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    I would say that all of the qualities listed above are essential for me in a long-term relationship.

    Independence is also important to me. A women who is strong and indepenent is more likely to attract me than someone with a weak will. She should be able to have her own life and interests, without needing to involve me in every aspect. Likewise she should not need to know everything that I am doing as well. I am all for sharing these things, but I want some space as well.

    I guess it relates to open-mindedness and trust as mentioned by Burnsde1 above. A relationship without trust is doomed. Part of the proof of trust is being able to let the other person have some space to themselves.
     
  4. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Intelligence, beauty, charm, good listener, good talker

    And then...

    Big tits
    Appreciation of great music (sexual attraction to Prince would be a bonus lol)
    Pretty face
    Bubble butt
    Accomodating, every-ready wagina.
    Stamina to match my own
     
  5. simcha

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    Honesty
    Integrity
    Authenticity
    Open-mindedness
    Spirituality
    Intelligence
    Sense of humour
    Good Self-Esteem
    Well Developed Boundaries
    Altruism
    Has worked through and is working through his own issues
    Ability to carry on a conversation
    Physical attraction

    I've been around a while. I've had many a relationship. The physical attraction thing goes on the bottom for a good reason. Yes, I'm a guy, so physical attraction needs to be there. I can honestly say that physical attraction without all of the other attributes won't make it last. In fact I've been out with some stunning model-quality guys who don't have the other qualities I'm looking for. Once I find out say, that all they can talk about is how many times per week they go to the gym, how many carbs they've had for the day, or what Abercrombie & Fitch item they want next, they become unattactive. When someone catches my eye and they have all of the other qualities listed, LOOK OUT! It's a major turn on for me. They become gorgeous to me.

    So, for me the physical only gets you so far. Basically it might get you an initial conversation. And if you're a narcissistic air head then the initial small talk is all you'll get. If you have most of the other qualities, you'll get a date, then who knows?
     
  6. datdude

    datdude New Member

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    Physical attraction

    Should be at the top of everyones list.

    Guys are very visual and the girl needs to be attractive.

    At first that what draws you in. Over time a girl needs to have a personality that you click with. Looks dont matter as much when you get really deep in a realtionship. You need someone fun to hang out with that you trust and has your back.

    Show me the hottest girl in the room and Ill show you a guy who's tired of fucking her.


    At first looks is what matters most than seeing if your alike each other or you click.
     
  7. viking1

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    All things are never equal.

    I say MONEY! I'm hoping she can support me. I'm tired of working on this damned junk!

    I'm only joking. Seriously, I would say attraction. Her attraction to me that is. My attraction to her wouldn't be much of a problem...
     
  8. datdude

    datdude New Member

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    If looks are not in your top 3 or 4 than there are plenty of ugly fat girls out there, with great attitudes!
     
  9. solexes

    solexes New Member

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    Self Acceptance
    No offence to the closeters out there, but I need someone in my life who is accepting of their sexuality and is out. Period. If their family accepts them - fine - but I am NOT going to hide my life for him just because he wants a "promotion/mother's love/father's love/church acceptance" etc.

    Confidence and a Path in Life
    Lets face it - a looser is a looser. But you don't have to make a million bucks a year to impress me. Be comfortable and confident in who you are, have chosen what you want to do, and be accepting of that path - whether it be fast food, or CEO of a major corporation - no whining please.

    Friends First
    Why is it a lot of gays put "looks" in their top three. Looks are great -but they don't last. Ask my 89 year old grandfather who passed away in 1998 - he's say "if you can't hold a conversation - when you go blind, life will be boring...." I want to be able to relate, and have interests that, while not similar, may be stimulating - and something I can talk to.

    Heart
    Come on guys - if you don't feel it - it isn't going to last.



    PERIOD.
     
  10. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    In order of importance:

    1)For me, a woman must have the characteristics of a strong matron. She must be have a very strong character. Weakness is a serious turn off, but don’t confuse that with vulnerability. She must know what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it, but also a willingness to let me have my own space apart from her.
    2)Compassion, thoughtfulness, and empathy-Any woman who is cold to human (or any) suffering is an immediate write off for me. That doesn’t mean that she should try to relieve all suffering, but that she notes it and it bothers her. This is the quality that truly makes us human. Associated with this is communication. She must feel free to tell me anything she wants. Nothing is off the table, in regards to dialogue. She must be my best friend.
    3)Intelligence-A smart woman is very desirable and trumps even looks.
    4) Physical looks. She doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, I don’t like the Barbie look at all. Usually though, if the other characteristics are there, I will naturally find her physically attractive, whether she meets the traditional definition or not.
     
  11. Love-it

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    I found the woman I love, she is cute, intelligent and hard working, we have many of the same interests and agree on most issues and she can have a good time by herself and still likes to see me at the end of the day, the only detraction is a lack of self confidence that revolves around her family.
     
  12. TheRob

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    I like when she will argue with me
    and a sence of humor not totally alien to mine becuase to make a woman smile or laugh fills me with joy
     
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