All You Ever Needed To Know About Pregnancy

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by jakeatolla, Oct 31, 2007.

  1. jakeatolla

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    Pregnancy questions and answers

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A! : Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.
     
  2. Not_Punny

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    OMG -- I laughed so hard I peed my pants... or was that the water breaking?!!! :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:
     
  3. Principessa

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    Hysterical!:biggrin1:
     
  4. deepwader

    deepwader Member

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    Q: Is it true that if my baby comes out before 32 weeks, he may be retarded?

    A: Fuck no, I'd call that advanced: most of us don't manage it till adolesecence at the earliest!
     
  5. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    Q: My friends say that having a normal healthy sized baby is not a problem- are they right?
    A: Clearly your friends have never tried to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out of the opening of a lemon.
     
  6. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    Funny stuff :biggrin1:
     
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