All You Not In The Butt Folks, If You Have A Funeral, Too Bad

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T_Lurch

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Thankfully they spared us the visual of exsanguinating the body with a trocar and the Y-incision.

The plug is probably the more tame of all the things they do to prepare a body, postmortem.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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Thankfully they spared us the visual of exsanguinating the body with a trocar and the Y-incision.

The plug is probably the more tame of all the things they do to prepare a body, postmortem.
I loved how they spoke to each other with respect.
 
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bellybama

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I worked in a country funeral parlour from 15-18, we didn't do that, and full autopsies were rare (and sent to Melbourne, would take about two weeks) and we never once embalmed a person. Embalming is pretty rare in Australia.

The waste/gas would normally release by the time we received the bodies.

In saying that, it was one of the best jobs to have as a teen. In Australia you need 100+ hours on our learner's permit accompanied by an adult, and I got to drive the hurse around when not for fuerals, but for picking up and transfers, it was awesome.

The hardest bit, my first funeral.
 
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T_Lurch

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TIL
That humans prepared for viewing get AV plugs...which are butt plugs.

obviously, if death is hard on you in the moment, wait to watch this.
I think Muslims and certain Jewish sects are an exception, though. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they don't do autopsies as they consider it a sacrilege.

Or maybe it's just embalming that is considered illicit.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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I think Muslims and certain Jewish sects are an exception, though. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they don't do autopsies as they consider it a sacrilege.

Or maybe it's just embalming that is considered illicit.

That is why I said “prepared for (western style) viewing”
Jewish burials are non-embalmed and done within 24 hours, no viewings. Shroud wrapped and typically in a plain olive box. Donation of organs and autopsy with cause are allowed.
I’m not as knowledge on Muslim customs, but the couple I’ve been to were similar. They had a pine box exemption, which certain Jewish sects and locations in the US can also get, but it’s tough when you aren’t deeply woven into community.
I know the some imans are against autopsies, but others have allowed.
Any desecration of the body is said to impact the afterlife.
 
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T_Lurch

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That is why I said “prepared for (western style) viewing”
Jewish burials are non-embalmed and done within 24 hours, no viewings. Shroud wrapped and typically in a plain olive box. Donation of organs and autopsy with cause are allowed.
I’m not as knowledge on Muslim customs, but the couple I’ve been to were similar. They had a pine box exemption, which certain Jewish sects and locations in the US can also get, but it’s tough when you aren’t deeply woven into community.
I know the some imans are against autopsies, but others have allowed.
Any desecration of the body is said to impact the afterlife.
A lot of cultural traditions and beliefs are similar. There is some overlap between Islamic and Jewish customs, I think.

Interestingly, I think the ancient Egyptians also believed that disturbing the body afterwards also affected the afterlife. After the mummification, of course. But with the Egyptians, I believe that extended to include the burial area, invoking curses upon tomb robbers.
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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Besides the expense, waste and impact on land and the meaningless pomp & circumstance of trying to place meaning on what is now just an empty shell of meat; this is yet another reason for me to forgo a traditional funeral and burial.

I've long given my directive for a quick cremation and if any family or friends wants to have an informal get-together afterward I don't care either way (I'll be in no position to have a say). Even the disposition of my ashes is irrelevant as it's just a few pounds of carbon and bone.

In fact, I put such little reverence on the whole thing that I often joke to the wife to just bag me up for trash day; something she never finds funny for some reason.
 
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T_Lurch

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Besides the expense, waste and impact on land and the meaningless pomp & circumstance of trying to place meaning on what is now just an empty shell of meat; this is yet another reason for me to forgo a traditional funeral and burial.

I've long given my directive for a quick cremation and if any family or friends wants to have an informal get-together afterward I don't care either way (I'll be in no position to have a say). Even the disposition of my ashes is irrelevant as it's just a few pounds of carbon and bone.

In fact, I put such little reverence on the whole thing that I often joke to the wife to just bag me up for trash day; something she never finds funny for some reason.
I requested upon death cremation as well. I don't see the need for me to take up a plot of land and have a lot of money spent for it.

I have reverence and respect for others' customs, but like you, I regard a deceased body as just meat, an empty shell.
 
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ActionBuddy

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TIL
That humans prepared for viewing get AV plugs...which are butt plugs.

obviously, if death is hard on you in the moment, wait to watch this.

@Scarletbegonia - With this post, you have helped me to re-confirm my decision to be cremated! It is written in my will.

A/B
 

Scarletbegonia

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Besides the expense, waste and impact on land and the meaningless pomp & circumstance of trying to place meaning on what is now just an empty shell of meat; this is yet another reason for me to forgo a traditional funeral and burial.

I've long given my directive for a quick cremation and if any family or friends wants to have an informal get-together afterward I don't care either way (I'll be in no position to have a say). Even the disposition of my ashes is irrelevant as it's just a few pounds of carbon and bone.

In fact, I put such little reverence on the whole thing that I often joke to the wife to just bag me up for trash day; something she never finds funny for some reason.
Well, cremains are heavy, if you have the whole person.

I’m organ/tissue donor, possibly research (at least my brain is assigned to a facility), and cremation of the rest.
Told Spawn to throw a party. Tell stories, tell some secrets, laugh and cry. Damn good food, and hopefully my last fruiting on Golden Teachers at the ready.
 

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I want a graveside service and no open casket viewing at all. I may even do a pre-recorded message for the people who attend the twenty minute service. I just put out fire ant killer on my plot next to a Magnolia root. The butt plug thing... mmmmmm no thanks but maybe my King Cock dildo.
 
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malakos

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I’m not as knowledge on Muslim customs, but the couple I’ve been to were similar. They had a pine box exemption, which certain Jewish sects and locations in the US can also get...

What precisely is the exemption? There is something about this style of funeral that isn't normally allowed under US law?
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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Well, cremains are heavy, if you have the whole person.

I’m organ/tissue donor, possibly research (at least my brain is assigned to a facility), and cremation of the rest.

That kind of reminds me of the times we lost one of our furbabies and the vet would always give you the choice of returning the ashes or otherwise they would be mixed in with other animals cremated and then buried together. I'm just wondering if they would do that for humans as well rather than returning the whole person. After all being mixed in with other people's remains might be like a post-death orgy :p. Even after departing the Earth I'll still be thinking about sex...incorrigible :laughing:.

Although I'm registered for donation with the state as well, I doubt they would have much use for my brain. It would likely take years of intense, expensive research to figure out what makes my gray matter tick.
 

Motion-of-the-Ocean

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I want a graveside service and no open casket viewing at all. I may even do a pre-recorded message for the people who attend the twenty minute service. I just put out fire ant killer on my plot next to a Magnolia root. The butt plug thing... mmmmmm no thanks but maybe my King Cock dildo.

The recording comment reminds me of the joke on a Bill Cosby album (years before he became persona non grata) that when he died he'd put a tape recorder in the casket to do personal shout-outs and comments for the attendees. Like "How are you all doing?" "Don't I still look like myself?" "Hi, Bob. How's the wife and kids?"

For me I guess it would be an opportunity to tell others how I feel about them for the last time without having to face the consequences.
 
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Scarletbegonia

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@Motion-of-the-Ocean
A synesthesia researcher got my permission.
My ex and I had almost identical forms, and differing but high psychedelic use, but no other drugs aside from caffeine for me. That was novel enough for the researcher to ask us to bequeath them.
I think it’ll go on the slicer.
Like deli meat.
 
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NCbear

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My paternal grandfather decided to donate his body to science.

As the blessed event came nearer and nearer (he lived nearly four months past his 100th birthday), his jokes about how his body would be loaded into the back of a pickup and taken to the medical school for experimentation became more and more frequent.

I think it may have been his way of dealing with the thought of his impending mortality.

NCbear (who’s described my grandfather’s hilarious preparations for his 100th birthday in other posts)