Anyone in the UK or Portugal will doubtless have heard a lot recently about the very sad disappearance of four-year-old Madeleine McCann who was abducted from her parents' hotel room last week and remains missing. But does anyone else beside me and Matthew Parris in the Times think that the whole thing has been blown wildly out of proportion? Does it make me a dick for thinking it has? I've just sat down to watch what turned out to be a rather miserable FA Cup final and witnessed a short documentary film about the missing girl being played to the assembled crowd of 90,000, as if someone in Row 32 is suddenly going to recall seeing a toddler being bundled into a car in the Algarve several days earlier. I'm sure raising the profile of a missing-persons case is generally very useful, but didn't she go missing abroad? And how exactly is the kidnapper going to have ferried his victim over the border into Spain when every law-enforcement agency in that country is looking out for her? And I read the other day that a number of private individuals (or 'publicity-seeking pseudo-humanitarian fuckholes' as I call them) have donated sums up to £1 million for information leading to the return of the kidnapped girl! All very noble perhaps but why now? Is this girl the Second Coming? If so, why has no-one told me? You can go to the National Missing Persons Helpline website (National Missing Persons Helpline (0500 700 700)) and read about dozens of other children who have been missing for far longer, and in total obscurity as well. And then there's poor Alan Johnston who's been rotting in a cell in Gaza for two months for the heinous crime of objective journalism......here's someone who's actually DONE things (unlike some pathetic lazy four-year-old) and he's forced into the background throughout all this! It seems so grossly unfair that I'm starting to lose any sympathy I previously had for the parents (which is not a good thing). Is there a perfectly rational explanation for the anomalous prominence of this particular case, or is it the Princess-Diana-Syndrome rearing it's retarded head once more? Will people oneday say 'Oh yes, I can well remember the day WE lost Madeleine....'?