Aloof Airlines

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Sklar, Jul 10, 2008.

  1. Sklar

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    In my fantasy world, I am the owner of my very own airlines called Aloof Air. My airlines would not allow the following:

    1) No children ages 11 and below. I don't like it when I'm trying to sleep and the kid behind me starts kicking my chair. Or running up and down the aisle. Or fighting with their brother/sister. Or just screaming. Or being uncontrolled. The reason we will take children age 12 or above is, since I am Jewish, 12 is when most Jewish kids have their Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah. So that's the reason 12 and above was chosen.

    2) One carry on per person.

    3) People can check 3 pieces of normal sized luggage without paying extra for them. Normal sized luggage would be what the industry standard is.

    4) Unruly people would cause the plane to make an unscheduled stop, they would be kicked off, left to fend for themeslves and the rest of the people will be given the name and address of the people kicked off so they can send nasty letters to them.

    5) One price for the seats. No more of this book 30 days in advance and get a discount. The price 30 days away is the same price the day of the flight.

    6) No over selling the flight. Once the flight is booked it's closed.

    7) The price of the ticket WILL BE MORE EXPENSIVE than that of other carriers. You fly Aloof Airlines for peace of mind. No bawling kids. Unruly people dumped unceremoniously off at the nearest airport. The entire flight is geared to a calm, fun experience. People are willing to pay more to be ensured a nice comfy flight. The Poor and White trash need not apply.

    8) No alcohol will be served at all. No one with alcohol on their breath will be allowed to enter the plane. If you were seen drinking at the bar on the concourse, you will not be allowed to enter onto the plane and you will not get your money back. We like happy, sober people to fly with us.

    9) All employees will be given profit sharing status. So the better the company does the better the employee will be economically and the happier the employee will be. Here at Aloof Air, we believe a happy employee leads to happy customers.

    10) If someone is so large that they take up two seats, they will be charged for two seats (which they will pay for before boarding the plane) or they won't board the plane and won't get their money back.

    11) We will have a banned list that will be constantly updated. People banned will never have the opprotunity to fly with us again. The banned list will be for people who have violated the ToS with Aloof Air.

    This is my fantasy airlines. I'll make periodic updates as I think of more.


    Sklar
     
  2. prepstudinsc

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    Sounds good to me. When will it start flying? :biggrin1:
     
  3. koval

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    Question - What's the inflight entertainment?
     
  4. Deno

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    oh man I know what you mean about kids in an airplace. I went out and spent nearly 1000 dollars on a washing machine and dryer so I didn't have to go to the laundry anymore. Only thing worse then someone using up all the machines is bringing all the kids who made the clothes dirty with them.
     
    #4 Deno, Jul 10, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2008
  5. justmeincal

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    Sorry, but if I can't have a glass of wine, I aint flying Aloof.
     
  6. Principessa

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    I agree. I've also had more flights ruined by chatty adult Christians, Amway, Herbalife, and insurance reps than by children.

    I say we bring back People's Express. Now that was a quality airline. :biggrin1:
     
  7. vince

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    You should just charter a LearJet.

    Or shell out for business class. Except the people you meet in coach are generally more interesting to talk to.
     
  8. vince

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    Kids kicking the back of the seat can be dealt with by speaking to the parents nicely once and firmly again. It always takes two times. (kids aren't the only ones that do that)

    I agree about the fat people overflowing into your space though. Nothing is worse than have their sweaty soft mush pressing up against you.
     
  9. justmeincal

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    I always fly business or first class. However, you are right, people in coach are generally more interesting. Yikes, what does that say about me...lol
     
  10. IntoxicatingToxin

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    I take it you've had a negative flying experience lately?
     
  11. justmeincal

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    Gads, who hasn't had a negative flying experience lately? Late planes, cancelled flights, packed planes.

    Years ago, flying first class was a wonderful experience. Now you just a bigger seat and heated nuts.
     
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