alternative uses for JOSH GROBAN

Discussion in 'Celebrity Endowments' started by thadjock, Jan 14, 2009.

  1. thadjock

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    I'll provide a couple to get it started:

    1) dip him in liquid nitrogen and let the israeli's use him as a missile against palestinians.

    2) push him into a wood chipper to feed aligators at seaworld (eco friendly)

    3) wire him up to a civil defense siren and shock him when u need an excruciating sound to alert people to danger.

    4) use him in a coal mine as a carbon monoxide detector (save a canary, use a josh groban)

    5) crash test dummy for subcompact cars in head on collision.

    6) Let the CIA put him in the same room as terrorists and let him sing for 5 min till they go insane from the noise and kill themselves.

    7) Oprah's lawn jockey
     
  2. canuck_pa

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    So are you trying to tell us your not a fan?
     
  3. thadjock

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    r u openly admitting u R?
     
  4. tripod

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    I have to hear his music 'cause I am in the wedding business, but he has grown on me over the years. I think his voice is pretty damn good, but he is more like a waiter with a REALLY good voice. His range lies somewhere between a baritone and a tenor, not reaching the highs of a true tenor and missing the bass notes of a real baritone... similar to an average man's voice. He's a great singer and a gentleman. I know a guy who is a deadringer for him.
     
  5. thadjock

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    he's a david foster creation, he'd BE a waiter if it wasnt' for the evil dr foster (aided and abetted by oprah) turning him into the global sensation he is.

    he'd even be kicked off AI for overmodulating his voice

    the real downside to all this fake manufactured talent is that the real talent can't rise to the top and what we get instead is anything that makes money for disney or vegas or simon or oprah....it's marketing it's not entertainment, and talent doesn't have anything to do with it. Like cattle, the consumer eats whatever they're fed.

    we have a great local music environment here and it kills me to see bands and singers who are great not being able to catch a break, the internet has helped alot but without exposure on the big stage, and big money backing it's still tough to blow up like they should.

    Josh Groban, celine dion, mylie cyrus, every AI winner, the jonas brothers etc. aren't the "cream" rising to the top, they're the scum on top of the pond that's choking out the oxygen and sunlight.

    time to skim the pond
     
    #5 thadjock, Jan 14, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2009
  6. tripod

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    Sounds about right to me... although I wouldn't put Celine Dion and Josh Groban in the same group as the AI bunch and Miley Cyrus. None of those idiots write their own music. You are sooooo right about David Foster, Josh owes his life to that guy!
     
  7. eattom

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    you clearly know little about music if you can't hear what a great voice Groban has. You don't have to like it, or what he does, but the instrument (& i mean the voice) is impressive.
     
  8. nudeyorker

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    I have never heard him sing, although I have the similar feelings about Madonna, Celine, and countless others, a simple solution for me is not listening to their work.
     
  9. eattom

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    indeed. We can't all like the same thing.
     
  10. thadjock

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    whatever eattom,

    he's roundly mocked throughout the industry

    and i stand by my OP, he'd be a waiter without david foster

    his bizarre hybrid style (if you can even call it that) of opera-pop is only tolerable to divorced menopausal suburban women who are already buzzed on half a box of wine.
     
    #10 thadjock, Jan 14, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2009
  11. Seb

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    Woah, you have completely changed my mind about Josh Groban. I will be right back, I need to find where he lives so I can sit outside his door and scream hateful words at him.
     
  12. MYDEEPTHROAT

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    Next ... you'll be telling us that you don't like James Blunt either ... :mad:

    James Blunt's voice is a bit higher ... :eek:

    I keep getting these 2 mixed up ... :wink:
     

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  13. thadjock

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    i'm not condoning hate,

    i'm just baffled by the mob of idiots that luv his music
     
  14. Branleur49008

    Branleur49008 New Member

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    After we get rid of Josh Groban, can we do something about (my fingers shudder at typing the names...) John Tesh and that closet case Jim Brickman?
     
  15. thadjock

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    i think they're all robots, we just need to write a piece of code that will fry thier processors
     
  16. D_Percival Puddleford Pukehorn

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    wow lpsg suddenly became lMsg
     
  17. ck85x65

    ck85x65 New Member

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    Reminds me of how I felt about Michael Bolton ... all the women I discussed him with thought he was "dreamy sexy masculine sings with genuine emotion' whereas the only suggestion I had was to shoot the poor bugger to put him, and his manufactured angst, out of his misery ...
     
  18. B_IanTheTall

    B_IanTheTall New Member

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    I'm glad we don't all have to like the same things. I'd hate to have to live in a world where we all have to like Engineered Entertainment Entities, E3's for short, like Celery Dijon and Justine Teenyweeny (my friends may not be republicans, but they are very good at renaming stuff they detest).

    Though Groban is outside of my usual taste (Rammstein, Ghost in the Machine, Static-X, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Jesus Jones, Nine Inch Nails, Live, Bush/Institute) he is easy to sleep to.
     
    #18 B_IanTheTall, Jan 14, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2009
  19. MansRoad

    MansRoad New Member

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    i think he has an alright voice but he would sound better if he was singing with other people, or at least thats what i think, as for the rest mentioned, i think they should be rounded up and shot, or at least caged to let other people have a go at what they want to do, and none of this x-factor crap we get now, im British you know.
     
  20. Calboner

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    :bowdown:
    Preach it, brother.
     
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