wallyj84
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Sex isn't a big deal. Don't worry about it.
twoton
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wallyj84
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It is kind of refreshing to talk about or have one identify with being a virgin at any age. I mean, often, whores both men and women and those who have ever had one sex partner is over discussed, shared, etc.
Depending on a pov, the number of sex partners or having never had shared your body sexually is like money in the bank.
Depending on a pov, the number of sex partners or having never had shared your body sexually is like money in the bank.
I stopped caring about it a few years ago. Why be stressed out about it? If it happens great! If it doesn’t, I’ve got plenty of other things to occupy my time and master.
Personal happiness is an ever evolving goal with many roads to get there. Sex is just one road of many.
Personal happiness is an ever evolving goal with many roads to get there. Sex is just one road of many.
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I didn't start dating until I was in college, and didn't lose my virginity until a few years later. Yes, it got to me, as I thought "I must be the only guy my age who hasn't had sex". I can be very shy around women, and I now know I probably missed some signals of interest over the years, or was not brave enough to risk rejection.
I eventually lost my virginity unexpectedly, when a day spent with a good friend ended with a goodnight "friends" hug and kiss that turned into much, much more. I was attracted to her from the day we met,and actually did ask her out early on but got the "Let's just be friends" line. We grew close as friends over the next year or so, but I still didn't expect that a simple smooch would turn into many more kisses, caressing, groping, undressing, fingering, sucking and fucking!
I eventually lost my virginity unexpectedly, when a day spent with a good friend ended with a goodnight "friends" hug and kiss that turned into much, much more. I was attracted to her from the day we met,and actually did ask her out early on but got the "Let's just be friends" line. We grew close as friends over the next year or so, but I still didn't expect that a simple smooch would turn into many more kisses, caressing, groping, undressing, fingering, sucking and fucking!
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You do look like someone who is sexperienced. I wouldn't have guessed
You’re not the first nor the last to assume as much. People, especially the guys I serve with, always think I’m being dishonest about it.
Similar to me. Although I had a girlfriend the summer after High School, my college years were date-less. My shyness and introversion were definitely factors, and in retrospect I'm certain I missed some girls that were interested in me.
The idea of "I must be the only guy my age who hasn't had sex" DEFINITELY rings true! I was sitting in my college graduation, watching friends and classmates cross the stage and get their diplomas. As they stepped down, some of the guys were met by wives or girlfriends (or maybe both - after all, 1973 was really just the end of the "swinging 60's") who bestowed muchas smooches and other signs of affection bordering on sexual assault. Suddenly I thought, "Hey! I must be the ONLY guy here who has never been laid!" When I was honest with myself I had to admit that even though sex promised to be VERY enjoyable (and, I can assure you that IT IS!), what I really wanted was a committed life-partnership that expressed itself in good sex, among other things.
A few days later I was talking with family friends about college and graduation and what's next, etc. These folks were much older - my parents' age; in fact their daughter was in my High School class. In the course of conversation it came out that "girls avoided me like the plague", and I was frustrated and upset by that situation. A few days later they passed on (with her permission) contact information for one of their nieces. Due to geography, we wrote to each other - sight unseen - real letters, on real paper - for over 3 months before we actually met. When we did meet, we were already "in like" and there was no problem with awkwardness, shyness, etc. A year after we met, we married, gave each other our virginity, and are still together almost 44 years later.
My point is that you shouldn't restrict yourself to approaching only people you find attractive. Friends, neighbors, co-workers, classmates, etc, have sisters, roommates, nieces, students, etc who may also be looking for a partner. The better they know you, the more likely they are to connect you with a suitable partner.
Multiple examples on this thread shows that there is nothing wrong with anyone who is a virgin.
It’s not a secret that I was a late starter, losing my virginity at the age of the original poster, @Jaksjdis . Personally, my first experience was pretty underwhelming. I now know that there was no reason for me to wait. I don’t have any regrets.
It’s not a secret that I was a late starter, losing my virginity at the age of the original poster, @Jaksjdis . Personally, my first experience was pretty underwhelming. I now know that there was no reason for me to wait. I don’t have any regrets.
Virgins are hot, honestly, I think think you have a trump card. Many people would love to take that from you I would purposely advertise it. Lol
I would purposely advertise it. Lol
Barberseville
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Everyone has different sexual interests and different levels of sex drive, and different attractions. For some people, sex is their primary need and they must have it all the time, often regardless with whom or regardless of the consequences. These people often do not make good lovers and often do not make good life partners or colleagues.
For others, less sex may be about high standards of partner or focus on quality of emotional and physical connection, or perhaps they have other drivers in their life, or inhibitions, which may or may not be healthy. If you are a virgin because you are afraid of intimacy, or because you dislike your own body, or because you are desperately lonely and you can't meet anyone, this could be a problem and you might want to think about changing your behaviour to overcome that. Seeking sex does bear a cost, especially an opportunity cost. All those hours cruising or wanking or swiping Tindr or Grndr are hours which could be spent on other things.
I would observe that virginity is both highly prized in western culture but paradoxically carries a stigma as well (people perceive that you must be flawed if you can't have sex, since our culture considers sex almost a human right, so asexualism is akin to an eating disorder in many minds). However, most people over estimate how important others consider their sex lives and sexuality. Provided what you do is legal, your friends and family, let alone the wider community probably doesn't care. Virginity is certainly legal, and whilst a 40 year old virgin may be unusual or pitied, it is not something most people will make a big deal of. Rather like penis length or breast size, the importance of the issue is often exaggerated by those who feel it matters to them personally more than anything.
I think being a virgin is only a problem if you make it so, or if you want sex deeply, but are not getting it. Or maybe if your sexual behaviour, or lack of it, is harming you or your partner either physically or psychologically. I recall reading somewhere that our sex drives are much like wild horses: if left on their own they can cause harm, while if well groomed and cared for, they can thrive, giving us the freedom to ride wherever we like. Good luck...
For others, less sex may be about high standards of partner or focus on quality of emotional and physical connection, or perhaps they have other drivers in their life, or inhibitions, which may or may not be healthy. If you are a virgin because you are afraid of intimacy, or because you dislike your own body, or because you are desperately lonely and you can't meet anyone, this could be a problem and you might want to think about changing your behaviour to overcome that. Seeking sex does bear a cost, especially an opportunity cost. All those hours cruising or wanking or swiping Tindr or Grndr are hours which could be spent on other things.
I would observe that virginity is both highly prized in western culture but paradoxically carries a stigma as well (people perceive that you must be flawed if you can't have sex, since our culture considers sex almost a human right, so asexualism is akin to an eating disorder in many minds). However, most people over estimate how important others consider their sex lives and sexuality. Provided what you do is legal, your friends and family, let alone the wider community probably doesn't care. Virginity is certainly legal, and whilst a 40 year old virgin may be unusual or pitied, it is not something most people will make a big deal of. Rather like penis length or breast size, the importance of the issue is often exaggerated by those who feel it matters to them personally more than anything.
I think being a virgin is only a problem if you make it so, or if you want sex deeply, but are not getting it. Or maybe if your sexual behaviour, or lack of it, is harming you or your partner either physically or psychologically. I recall reading somewhere that our sex drives are much like wild horses: if left on their own they can cause harm, while if well groomed and cared for, they can thrive, giving us the freedom to ride wherever we like. Good luck...
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Most I’ve done is kissed a girl....on the cheek. Hell I’ve jerked off with a buddy right after High school. Technically I’ve done more with a dude.
I wouldn't worry about it. I didn't lose my virginity (ie. have penetrative sex with a woman) until I was 31. It was fun, and worth the wait. Just be patient, and it will happen.
sangheili90
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People typically would view an older male virgin, mid 20s or older, as a stereotypical neck beard world of Warcraft player. Overweight, unattractive, awkward, etc. I had people assume I was gay for so long because I never had a gf, it is stupid bt understandable for obvious reasons.
I was a virgin until almost 24, partly because of a conservative religious background. And honestly, I'm glad it didn't happen earlier. When it happened, we were both ready, and it was awesome.
Sex isn't life. It's a great part of life, but it doesn't define you.
Sex isn't life. It's a great part of life, but it doesn't define you.
