Yes, I'm glad I had my first sexual experience in the context of a fully-committed adult relationship, rather than being driven by peer pressure, or some of the cultural myths like "Having sex will make me mature", or "She'll love me if I can only get her in bed with me.".
As a virgin in my late teens and early 20's I superficially agreed with that idea but deep inside I felt inadequate and rejected. Even so, at the same time I knew that what I REALLY wanted wasn't the sex itself, but rather a relationship that could express itself through good sex (among other things).
I'd like to hear more about your first experience, if you feel safe sharing it.
Not trying to hijack the thread, but I guess I can share.
Believe it or not, the first time was on our wedding night, for me and for her. Up to that point, nobody had ever touched my cock outside a medical setting. I was REALLY a virgin. We had kissed, of course, a lot. But we decided early in our courtship that we would wait for anything beyond that. After months and months of anticipation, we finally were alone, married, and ready.
Unzipping her dress, unclasping her bra, caressing her perfect nipples for the first time, watching her unzip my pants and release my throbbing dick...she was visibly amazed at the size. I don't know if she had seen an erection in person before, but I'm bigger than her brothers, the most likely dicks she would have seen casually. She grabbed the head and I pushed her onto the bed and started fingering her while we kissed passionately. We pressed our naked bodies together and explored each other with our hands. A few minutes later, she was ready, and I got on top and gently pushed my head inside her warm pussy. I was hesitant to pop her cherry because I didn't want to hurt her, but she finally said go for it, and I pushed my shaft all the way in. There's no feeling like being completely surrounded by her warm, wet flesh.
As sex goes, it wasn't great. I didn't last long. She was hurting. But we already had a great relationship and friendship, and we could laugh and help reach other through the awkwardness of being novice sex partners. The first time was amazing for the memory, the event. But there was also blood everywhere, we didn't know what we were doing, and it was the beginning of our sex life, not the culmination. Over the weeks we practiced and got better. It took some time for her to figure out how to have an orgasm, and it took me time to figure out how best to get her there. Sex in the 5th or 10th year of marriage was infinitely better than in the 1st. But we wanted each other, craved each other so much back then, and we kept trying.
The first time is so exciting, and it was an amazing unifying experience to take each other's virginity. I have no regrets about waiting for it. We belong fully to each other. Life's not perfect...sex is pretty infrequent at the moment. But the experiences we shared as we learned how to be lovers still help us to stay together.
Yes, yes, YES!!
So many similarities:
- Two wedding-night virgins
- We set the goal, and worked together, to wait for marriage
- We both anticipated it - even set an afternoon wedding so we would have plenty of time for sex in the evening
- Not really enough time in foreplay
- I wasn't prepared for the intensity of sensation when a pussy enveloped my cock for the first time
- In the physical dimension, the very first time wasn't great sex.
- Missionary position
- I fought orgasm from the first stroke and came much too quickly - about 30 seconds
- I hurt her. More than necessary, but out of ignorance and ineptness - not intentionally. She cried through the whole first intercourse
- Sex was something we added to a committed relationship
- We learned together. No need to un-learn things carried over from a previous partner. Or wonder how we compared to a previous partner.
- In the mental dimension, and emotional dimension, it was extremely significant and very meaningful
- Yes, the blood. Certainly nowhere close to a medical emergency, but more than the "few drops" mentioned by our premarital study materials.
(Perhaps the only thing I did well was to have a washcloth and basin of warm water ready before we started. She said it was very soothing and loving when I cleaned her up afterwards. But she never saw the mess . . . ) - Her first married orgasm happened on the afternoon of the next day - the 5th or 6th coupling. It was from my mouth and fingers. I don't recall when she had her first orgasm from my penis inside her, but it was probably 6 - 8 weeks before she could cum regularly.
- For both of us, giving our virginities to each other made us REALLY married to each other.
- There were a few times when sex was the only thread, or at least the strongest thread, holding us together.
- In our 44th year, sex is 2 or 3 times a month rather than 2 or 3 times a day.
- Premarital lovemaking was more than kissing. It isn't totally accurate to say we had "done everything but sex", but that's close.
- We had sen each other in various states of topless and bottomless undress, though I don't think we ever saw each other totally naked.
- We had helped each other to orgasm. In fact, her very first happened with her thighs wrapped around my ears about 4 - 5 months before we were married.
- When I went to put it into her I missed the hole and jammed myself painfully against her.
- When the first time ended I was crying from emotion. Until we had sex I didn't really appreciate the intensity of its emotional content.
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- rtg,
Why did this take over a year? Lol. Did you pop your cherry in the meantime?
Yes, please give us an update. Some people put real effort into giving you honest, helpful, high-quality responses.
