Am I A Non-op Trans Woman?

[jonbennxo]

I've lived most of my life as a gay man. I am very much of a "feminine" gay guy (e.g. makeup, smooth body, skinny, total "bottom" etc). I have always thought I'd be better off being a woman in this world. I feel like my life would make a lot more sense and would be easier in many ways.

If there was a pill I could take that would turn me into a fully functional biological woman, I would take it.

I am, however, in no way, shape or form interested in taking hormones, surgically amending my body, or transitioning socially or being referred to as "she" (I would if I was a woman; but I am not a woman).Does this make me a non-op trans woman? Or am I just "genderfluid" or something like that?

Most gay men would have no interest in being a woman - they enjoy being men. As for me, I don't care. I could be either. But socially, it would make a lot more sense for me to be a female rather than to live like this

Can any of you relate to my story? Was something like this the beginning of your transition as well? Am I in denial?

Thanks

 

[jonbennxo]

You’re a self hating gay man.

Thanks. Could you share details as to what made you arrive at that conclusion? (I'm not saying you're wrong; it's just difficult for me to look at things objectively and not be biased at this point).

I have been down the path of "self-hatred" (or internalized homophobia) being potential culprits, however, the more I thought about it the less it seemed like I suffered from either of those two.

Many professionals claim you don't need gender dysphoria in order to be transgender.

 

[1951441]

You do not NEED gender dysphoria to be transgender. You do not NEED to desire to medically or socially transition either. If you are questioning your gender in this way, especially as seriously as it sounds like you would like to be a woman, you are quite likely transgender. Only you (or possibly a trained mental health professional) can ultimately make that determination though. I would recommend taking with a therapist if these thoughts and feelings are bothering you, or simply weighing heavily upon your mind.

 

[MissThing]

I am a non-op transwoman. I have always identified as female and while I also have no interest in hormones or surgeries, I do use female pronouns and have presented exclusively as female for the past 22 years or so. I pass easily in my daily life and have often wondered if my passability has affected my personal decisions regarding the extent of my transition. Obviously my experience is only my own, so I can only speak for myself. What you describe sounds like what I have heard genderfluid people describe, but Mx is right: only you can determine this about yourself. Personally, I have never experienced gender dysphoria myself, and am happy to see that the medical community now understands that gender dysphoria and being trans aren't mutually exclusive. Seeing a therapist might be a helpful and natural next step to take if you need help with exploring this facet of yourself.

 

[Skinny Manny]

I've lived most of my life as a gay man. I am very much of a "feminine" gay guy (e.g. makeup, smooth body, skinny, total "bottom" etc). I have always thought I'd be better off being a woman in this world. I feel like my life would make a lot more sense and would be easier in many ways.

If there was a pill I could take that would turn me into a fully functional biological woman, I would take it.

I am, however, in no way, shape or form interested in taking hormones, surgically amending my body, or transitioning socially or being referred to as "she" (I would if I was a woman; but I am not a woman).Does this make me a non-op trans woman? Or am I just "genderfluid" or something like that?

Most gay men would have no interest in being a woman - they enjoy being men. As for me, I don't care. I could be either. But socially, it would make a lot more sense for me to be a female rather than to live like this

Can any of you relate to my story? Was something like this the beginning of your transition as well? Am I in denial?

Thanks

I'm androgynous and skinny. But I'm old and never knew about the "femboy" possibility. Sure wish I did! I'm not good looking but my body would have been killer!

 

[Rockoncoxon]

It's up to you! There isn't a checklist for being trans - you don't have to have Dysphoria TM, you don't have to socially or medically transition. It simply means that you don't vibe with your assigned gender, whether that be wholly or partially. Perhaps you're non-binary and transfeminine! That could be a reason why you both feel like you should be a woman but don't care and 'could be either'. But at the end of the day, the only person who gets to define you is *you*, so it's your call. Feel free to hit me up if you'd like some resources! Safe journeys! <3

 

[umdoistressilvaquatro]

Why do you think it would "make more sense socially" for you to be a woman? And what do you mean by "live like this"?

 

[kipp1108]

I would think you are a genderqueer and/or effeminate gay man, based on they way you've described it. You said you don't care if you're male or female, as opposed to being satisfied you're a man or wishing you were a female (personally/internally, more than just for societal fitting in). The idea of taking a pill to make yourself a woman sounds a lot like taking a pill to make yourself straight... your dysphoria seems more about your fitting into cultural norms moreso than gender norms. But like others said, only you can know what best describes you.

Out of curiosity...
Assuming as a gay man you're attracted to gay men; if you were to take that magic pill, how would you want to describe yourself and who would you be attracted to? A straight woman attracted to straight men? A nonbinary woman attracted to trans men? A trans woman attracted to trans women?

 

[Appleman34]

Thanks. Could you share details as to what made you arrive at that conclusion? (I'm not saying you're wrong; it's just difficult for me to look at things objectively and not be biased at this point).

I have been down the path of "self-hatred" (or internalized homophobia) being potential culprits, however, the more I thought about it the less it seemed like I suffered from either of those two.

Many professionals claim you don't need gender dysphoria in order to be transgender.

I wouldn't go as far as to say you're self-hating, but I was in your shoes and was pretty self-hating.

Internalized homophobia can teach you to hate feminine gay men so much, that you'd rather be a straight woman than a fem gay. And just like you, I didn't want to be a trans-woman (because that'd still be queer), I just wanted the "magic pill". I fantasized about it all my life.

Maybe I am trans or genderqueer, though. Who knows... But first I want to get rid of the self-hatred that's in me and see if my discomfort is just internalized homophobia/transphobia, or if I'm legit trans.