for the first.. 20-23 years of my life i thought i was gay or mostly gay.. but around my 24th birthday, after a lot of not-so-great gay experiences, i discovered within me a sudden lust and interest in the opposite sex. but everytime i get the opportunity, or what would be to any other normal person an opportunity, to talk to girls.. i cant.. not very well.. its a mixture of something like boredom and hopelessness... girls confuse the hell out me.. i have absolutely no idea how to talk to them the way any normal guy who wants to fuck them would(i dont mean that as an insult, but honestly that is the main motivation behind most guys talking to girls)... gay guys are just so much easier.. ive had so much more practice... and every time i feel the "need".. i can simply hop on gay.com and find one. recently i found a guy who shares nearly every interest of mine.. talking to him i almost believed we could instantly be a couple... and i even told him so... then he came over.. and was a lot more overweight than i was hoping... and with the smallest penis ive ever encountered.. things that i never really thought would matter to me... yet i still slept with him and told him it was great.. it wasnt.. i couldnt even get off but i played it off as being nervous.. and that we would definately do it again.. i totally believed every word.. but he keeps calling me and for the life of me i just cant answer the freaking phone... i keep thinking.. "no.. id rather have a girlfriend"... but yet.. i dont?? or i dont have any idea how? what the hell should i tell this guy who i have everything in common with except attaction? what the hell is wrong with me? im thinking i should i just stop the easy sex cold turkey which would force me into talking to girls "that special way".. lol.. yeah.. blah.. rambling... i suck.