It's quite a bit to read but I wanted to be sure include most of the details... I haven't spoken with my dad since February and my mom has really been on my case (understatement) about calling him. So here's the full sitch: I had moved with my dad in June of last year after my mom and I had had a MAJOR argument...the subject of that argument isn't important here. It was my second attempt at trying to live with him. At the time that I moved in I didn't have a job but I was in school. He said that he didn't want me to work, only to focus on school but then he wouldn't buy groceries or pay for electric or gas service. So I eventually got a job so I would be able to put a few things in the kitchen. Time passed and the months got colder, and I'm sure all that kept me sane was my friends. When it got really cold, he would go to his girlfriend's house and stay for 4-6 days out of the week while I was home freezing my ass of. I could with all of those things, I mean, I had been through all of that before. What I just can't seem to get over are the things he said to me and the things he said to my friends. He would go as far as (and farther than) threatening me in front of my friends and even saying disrespectful things to my friends. And I can't past all the lies he told. And my mom, despite out falling out, called me at least every week to make sure I was okay. After 8 months I decided to move back with my mom. As I said before, this was my second time trying to live with him. The first time ended before I was even fully moved in. He didn't like the fact that I decided not to move with him and it resulted in a huge indent of my in my bedroom wall. This time around my mom suggested (to kept it from becoming physical) that I just move all of my stuff out while he was at work...and so I did. He called later that day to see what had happened and then told me that I wasn't a real man because I didn't come to him and talk about it like a real man would've. I reminded him about the last time and the giant crack in the wall and, well, he didn't have anything else to say. That was the last time I talked to my dad...back in February. I do respect him and appreciate the fact that he gave me a place to lay my head when I was in need. However, I'm not sure if my relationship with my dad is going to recover. My mom has really been saying (forcefully) that I should get in touch with him but, in this case, I don't want to be the adult. I have no desire to be the bigger man...and that kills me. I feel like if he wanted to talk to me he would've gotten in contact with me. He didn't hesitate to get me to call me brother when he wanted to talk him so why should this be any different. A part of me is a little scared that he might not even want to talk to me. So am I being irrational? Am I being stupid and stubborn? I desperately need some advice because I just don't know how approach the situation anymore.