Am I big enough for her?

[B_subgirrl]

nolbaby, tasha, subgirrl, petite, and crackoff - much appreciation for your helpful responses and genuine concern... the rest of you, probably think I'm a troll or something... I'm sure you get more than a few here so I can't really blame you. I'll just ask you nicely to please leave me alone then. I don't think I'm being ostentatious or harming anyone here by talking about my penis on a penis site (jeeze!) Sorry for posting in the wrong section. It was an accident. Crackoff is exactly right, I wanted a women's perspective. I understand my penis is not a women's issue but I thought my girlfriend's waning sex drive and difficulty orgasming could be considered a women's issue. Guess I'm just crazy.

It's nothing personal. Some posters thought I was male pretender in one of my first posts (maybe still do ). I think it's just because so many posters do do the wrong thing.

I hope all works out for you and your girlfriend. Seriously, it's worth talking to her about it. Just don't say that you think your penis is too small! Definitely the wrong thing to say. And don't make her feel inadequate or too loose unless you really want to upset her.

 

[alwaysguessing]

Seriously, it's worth talking to her about it. Just don't say that you think your penis is too small! Definitely the wrong thing to say. And don't make her feel inadequate or too loose unless you really want to upset her.

Yeah... shit! It's too late for that.

 

[wellhung9]

Many straight guys use toys,dildos etc with their gf/wife.It's adds a new dimension to foreplay.

I understand this, but he talks about them like she isn't even aware he owns them.

 

[wellhung9]

sorry i didn't read the response where he said he bought them to use on her, but she would rather have real meat.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Yeah... shit! It's too late for that.

I was hoping that was a while ago and she'd already forgotten :smile: Well, don't make the same mistake again!

 

[alwaysguessing]

I certainly won't. Thank you.

I actually never wanted to bring it up in the first place, but she kept pestering me because she could sense that I was pensive. I have a really bad habit of being completely honest and open. It's gotten me in trouble with her many times about different things.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

The idea about kegels and pelvic floor exercises (never heard of them!), sound pretty cool. But I don't know how to bring that up to her without the false appearance that I find her loose or inadequate somehow. I'm also interested in doing exercises for myself that could possibly result in more thickness and/or length, regardless of how significant or how long the results might last. I'm not sure if this is possible or not.

For yourself, go read Big Al's posts in the Penis Enlargement section, the man knows his stuff. But that would be for yourself, not for the girlfriend. About the kegel exercises, the issue of how to mention it to a girl has come up here before - there's a long thread on topic in the Women's forum, I'll try to drag up the link for you.

In the meantime, both men and women can do kegels. For men they are supposed to help with staying power, intensity of orgasm (for some, probably due to edging) and strength of ejaculation. If you start doing them for yourself and explain to her what you are doing and why maybe she'll be interested in finding out what those exercises could do for her.

FWIW I think Relationships would have been a much better move than Show Off.

Edit: here we are
http://www.lpsg.org/113776-how-do-i-tell-my.html
And in this thread there's a good link:
http://www.lpsg.org/124950-can-you-milk-the-lingam.html

 

[alwaysguessing]

Thanks so much MB! Can't wait to read and learn!

Oh yeah... this site is about big dicks... practically everything here is showing off! Not really sure what my issue has to do with relationships though. I figure relationships is more about emotions, fights, communication, etc. This is purely about sex, orgasms, and penis/vagina size. But perhaps I'm just on the wrong site altogether.

 

[bigbeyondbelief]

I´ll try to help as much as I can. Possible reasons:

Her getting a little fatter may "slow" everything down a little. I know this for a fact. Fat binds up testosterone (and a lot of other things) which really makes a difference.

Also she may have become less fit physically which often reduces sex drive. Studies have shown that couples who exercise a lot seem to have FAR better sex lives in general.

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Thanks so much MB! Can't wait to read and learn!

Oh yeah... this site is about big dicks... practically everything here is showing off! Not really sure what my issue has to do with relationships though. I figure relationships is more about emotions, fights, communication, etc. This is purely about sex, orgasms, and penis/vagina size. But perhaps I'm just on the wrong site altogether.

No, I don't think you are on the wrong site. I think you can find the advice you're looking for here, and maybe even some support.

The thing about the Women's forum is you wouldn't believe how much shit gets posted there because men want to hear what women have to say on the matter - either because, like you, they want a woman's opinion for a genuine issue (the way this site works we kinda view sexual relations issues as Relationship issue, though I can understand why you might not agree with that) OR, more often, the guy posting wants to read women talking about sex because it gives him his jollies, OR, also very often, a guy wants his ego stroking. Now - we can see from your responses that the latter two don't apply to you but that was kinda hard to judge from the first post. Forgive our harshness - it's a useful weapon against the idiots and we sometimes fire before we get 'idiot lock'. :redface:

By the way, whether we like it or not a lot of men (and some women) go to Women's Issues to post requests for a female point of view, as you did. Ever since I joined, and probably before, we have been asking for a sub-forum of WI specifically for that, "Ask a woman..." or something like that to house posts like yours. But site management has yet to see fit to grant that request. Ah well.

 

[alwaysguessing]

I´ll try to help as much as I can. Possible reasons:

Her getting a little fatter may "slow" everything down a little. I know this for a fact. Fat binds up testosterone (and a lot of other things) which really makes a difference.

Also she may have become less fit physically which often reduces sex drive. Studies have shown that couples who exercise a lot seem to have FAR better sex lives in general.

Do kegels. This means "flexing" your erect penis as hard as you can. Do this in some sort of progressive manner. Eventually your penis will always be at it´s hardest, and therefore, biggest.
A rock hard penis that STAYS rock hard is much, much better for stimulating a girl!

Please do not take this as an insult. I´m not saying you have a poor erection quality (it may be excellent) but girls I have talked to say it makes an unbelievable difference if you go from better-than-average hardness to absolutely engorged.

Oh I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes it's hard as a rock, but sometimes it's barely firm, and I can really see a difference in her reaction and pleasure. I think I will start doing kegels and other exercises. Why not, eh? She's worth it!

She never exercises at all, and doesn't eat particularly well... it's something that bothers me for her sake. I wish she would take better care of herself for her own health and enjoyment of life. Very interesting to know that it might affect her sex drive. I need to lose a bit of weight myself, and I'm hoping my drive and performance will also improve as a result.

Thanks bud!

 

[alwaysguessing]

\Forgive our harshness - it's a useful weapon against the idiots and we sometimes fire before we get 'idiot lock'. :redface:

LOL! No problemo! Sorry if I got defensive. I appreciate all the helpful replies. Thank god for the internet! I can't imagine who I could talk to about this in real life, and actually get useful feedback.

 

[bigbeyondbelief]

Two other tips that helps with getting good erection quality:

good cardiovascular health. It has been proven that long, slow running does little to enhance your heart compared to, for instance, hill sprints.

building larger quadriceps increases bloodflow to the groin (by around 20% i read somewhere). And building larger muscles increases testosterone which increases sex drive.

This may seem like alot for erection quality alone. But, being very fit makes you significantly happier overall. After many years of depression, I´m the happier than ever.
My psychiatrist confirms this notion. He once said that he has very, very rarely seen someone fit and depressed at the same time.

 

[B_subgirrl]

She never exercises at all, and doesn't eat particularly well... it's something that bothers me for her sake. I wish she would take better care of herself for her own health and enjoyment of life. Very interesting to know that it might affect her sex drive. I need to lose a bit of weight myself, and I'm hoping my drive and performance will also improve as a result.

Just keep in mind that while weight MAY affect a person's sex drive it's not always the case. My sex drive and orgasmic capability are always the same, whatever weight I am.

 

[B_crackoff]

My psychiatrist confirms this notion. He once said that he has very, very rarely seen someone fit and depressed at the same time.

All those low paid casual farm workers must be the happiest in the world then!

 

[yodiggity]

i doubt it has anything to do with the birth control because my gf is on it and is all about having sex and has orgasms all the time. try playing with her with your hands to see if she gets off easier that way and then proceed to enter and it might allow for her to reach orgasm easier

 

[ManlyBanisters]

i doubt it has anything to do with the birth control because my gf is on it and is all about having sex and has orgasms all the time.

That's right - because all women are exactly the same and respond in exactly the same way to all the many forms of birth control [/sarcasm]

 

[alwaysguessing]

There's so many things it could be. I'm just glad no one confirmed my fears by saying "yeah, not quite thick enough"... I know it's shallow and insecure but I doubt it's uncommon to feel this way.

I think a sure fix will be to work on maintaining a raging hard on at all times. Semi-firm just doesn't do it for her. I'll be doing penis exercises for the first time in my life. I'm actually kind of excited about it. Could even lead to increased size, which would be insane. I didn't think that was possible but who gives a shit it's worth trying.

At the same time I suppose I should just accept that sex at the 3 year mark is just always going to pale in comparison to those first few weeks of a relationship. I assume most couples see a more drastic decline in frequency and intensity than we did. And I consider myself extremely lucky that she was and still is so eager to fuck, not to mention blow me on a regular basis. I still wish I could make her have more and better orgasms, but she claims that sex is still good even if she doesn't have one. Not sure if I can believe her on that one, but I guess I have no choice.

 

[alwaysguessing]

Wrap a thinly-sliced chicken breast around your tube before applying the condom. Next.

Was this a serious suggestion? It sounds like a rather neat idea.

 

[nolbaby]

being very fit makes you significantly happier overall. After many years of depression, I´m the happier than ever.
My psychiatrist confirms this notion. He once said that he has very, very rarely seen someone fit and depressed at the same time.

2nd this. your mirror will make u feel a little more confident if you get in better shape (this only makes a difference to the superficial, though). however, when you exercise, your body releases endorphins which do things like a) heal injuries b)soothe pain c)give you energy or to sum it up- endorphins make you feel good. plus, if you are working out for 2 hours, you aren't sitting around thinking about whatever it is that has you depressed in the first place! even if its only for 2 hours, its better to be depressed for 22 hours a day than 24 right?

its not a certain answer. shit look at the milli vanilli guy. he was fuckin SHREDDED and GORGEOUS and he still killed himself due to an unbeatable depression. Dennis Rodman is in fantastic physical shape and he is the most depressed guy I've ever met. Nice guy though, just fyi.

anyway, you're big enough for her. and if you're not, then maybe she's just too fat. tell that fatty to lose some weight because even a 747 looks small when you fly it into the grand canyon. then sigh next time she orders anything other than a house salad when you go out to eat. sigh, make it obvious, then immediately change the subject to something about sports. talk about Rodman.