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Am I Bisexual or Gay?
- Thread starter chronozeus
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Yeah ok there is not a single soul on this board that can tell you who or what you are.......
Any-one that is trying to tell you what you are is only doing that because it makes them feel more comfortable putting things into little neat boxes they can understand.
Only you can know what you are or are not....and if you don't feel like you know what it is you want to be........that's fine just be yourself and if some-one ask's you say "I honestly don't know yet"
Explore that would be the only advice i can give you....explore explore explore....and keep exploring until you do know......and even if you think you might never know....keep exploring anyway. Life is about experiences..... so go out and have as many of em as you possibly can.....don't be afraid to experience some-thing you might not like..... because thats one step closer to finding out what you do like
Have fun
Any-one that is trying to tell you what you are is only doing that because it makes them feel more comfortable putting things into little neat boxes they can understand.
Only you can know what you are or are not....and if you don't feel like you know what it is you want to be........that's fine just be yourself and if some-one ask's you say "I honestly don't know yet"
Explore that would be the only advice i can give you....explore explore explore....and keep exploring until you do know......and even if you think you might never know....keep exploring anyway. Life is about experiences..... so go out and have as many of em as you possibly can.....don't be afraid to experience some-thing you might not like..... because thats one step closer to finding out what you do like
Have fun
Dude, you're not alone. I've struggled with my sexuality for years. By "struggled" I mean trying to put myself in one certain category.
I came "out as" gay when I was 21, but had sex with women until I was 27, when I got into a relationship with a guy. For me personally, I found that my confusion stemmed from most people not appreciating that any one person could have so many different wants / needs / turn-ons. Now that I'm 31, and thanks a lot to this site, I've begun realizing that I am, in fact, bisexual. Besides the obvious sexual points, I really love the softness of women's breasts and shoulders, but also the strength and musculature of a man's arms and ass, and so on...
The point is - it's okay to like different things. You're actually in a much better place than most people, because you understand that you like and don't like so many different things and are curious and possibly willing to explore those things, instead of trying to ignore your feelings and become something that you're not. So rock on buddy. Try different things, different people, different genders, look at different porn, and you'll figure it out.
I came "out as" gay when I was 21, but had sex with women until I was 27, when I got into a relationship with a guy. For me personally, I found that my confusion stemmed from most people not appreciating that any one person could have so many different wants / needs / turn-ons. Now that I'm 31, and thanks a lot to this site, I've begun realizing that I am, in fact, bisexual. Besides the obvious sexual points, I really love the softness of women's breasts and shoulders, but also the strength and musculature of a man's arms and ass, and so on...
The point is - it's okay to like different things. You're actually in a much better place than most people, because you understand that you like and don't like so many different things and are curious and possibly willing to explore those things, instead of trying to ignore your feelings and become something that you're not. So rock on buddy. Try different things, different people, different genders, look at different porn, and you'll figure it out.
B_VinylBoy
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From what I've seen or heard, it definitely sounds as if you're somewhat bi-curious. But just like everyone else said, only you can define yourself sexually and there's nothing wrong with whatever you choose as long as you're honest with yourself.
Personally, I think it's rather hot to see people be open sexually with males and female alike. But that's just me.
Personally, I think it's rather hot to see people be open sexually with males and female alike. But that's just me.
Although I have always thought of myself as bi I really don't get off on putting labels on myself or anyone else. When with a fm I am having hetro sex. When with a male then it's gay sex. Have been with a two married couples and had mfm sex with them and always thought of that as bi sex but then how was that to be labeled correctly. The fact is I really don't care how anyone else would label it. I just really consider myself sexual.
Bisexual, straight porn will condition anyone to be bisexual because you are usually masturbating whill seeing both a man and a woman.
durks
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Same here chief.
Supersized, do you really reckon that you can be 'conditioned' into a sexuality. I s'pose that all aspects of your life to some extent can be determined by what you've been exposed to. Even subconscious desire. Never thought bout it like that, but I definitely don't think its 100%, maybe that nature/nurture thing comes down to the individual
Sorry rambling
This thread has helped me a great deal
Supersized, do you really reckon that you can be 'conditioned' into a sexuality. I s'pose that all aspects of your life to some extent can be determined by what you've been exposed to. Even subconscious desire. Never thought bout it like that, but I definitely don't think its 100%, maybe that nature/nurture thing comes down to the individual
Sorry rambling
This thread has helped me a great deal
You make an interesting point, Durks. I was always raised that gay sex is horrible, evil, etc. And like the original poster, the thought of being with a man was revolting. But I've wondered if I didn't condition myself to a certain extent, and I outline how in the story below...not fictitous at all, but very real.
But by the time I was about 19, the internet really became space age and allowed pictures :wink: So we're talking about 1997...and I would be watching straight porn, like I was "supposed" to. But I'd be fascinated by these impossibly large cocks, and really kind of in awe of these somehow powerful men, and I was attracted to it.
And then I started foraying into gay porn, and found myself admitting, hey some of this is pretty hot too. And then curiosity started taking hold...and with the advent of gay chat sites, I said eh, this is gonna be stupid. But then there was a chat room in my area, and I live in a college town.
And then people saw me, 19 and more attractive then, and were very interested. And so it worked on me, until I finally agreed to meet someone. Just a blowjob...nothing more. And there I was, him taking my pants down, feeling his warm wet mouth, rock hard, and then bliss. And I cried all the way home. I felt horrible at what I had done. But later, I was incredibly aroused by it and knew I'd be doing it again.
Back to the chat room...chat with more suitors, and then more curiosity...what would it be like to suck one? It can't be as bad as what guys do for women...guys can wash theirs. And my next guy encouraged me...yes it's clean... I did it for you... no I won't cum in your mouth...and the fall of another wall - my lips were giving way to another man, inside my mouth.
Curiousity grows more...hey you know, being with guys feels great, even if it's a little weird, and hey I don't have a woman. And nobody knows! How awesome! I don't have to tell anyone! On to another guy - hey if feels good if you stick a finger in there when you cum, did you know that? No - but it hurts doesn't it...no, maybe at first, but I'll put spit on it first. And again, my curiouslty got the best of me. And I had the best orgasm yet, with another man, and with a finger in my virgin ass.
By this time, I had found a friend. A boy I really cared about. And he was making me feel wonderful. And we are nude and he's on top of me and he tells me again that he wants me. He wants THAT. My virginity. But that's gay! And it's so WRONG!
But we're so hard...and so passionate. And I care about this boy. But I'm scared. (Don't be, I won't hurt you) It's going to hurt (a little at first, but it's wonderful).
And I fret more, but then reason, if I'm going to do something so wrong, I want it to be with someone I feel so right being with. And that night, I shed the last of my hangups, the last of my defenses why, the last of my concern.
Yes.
Fifteen minutes later, I had finished what I just knew would never happen. I'd waved aside fears, gritted teeth, done my moaning, and felt so full. So stretched and yet every inch of my insides burned with pleasure. The image of this beautiful boy above me, watching his stomach muscles contracting on his thrusts. Glorious release. I'd given my body to another man. And again, I cried, but at the same time felt so amazing.
And then the last taboo, black men...my dad always raised me in a racist fashion. I wasn't myself, but there's no way. But then, I met a nice black guy...very attractive body. And I reason, well if he was white you would. And then more curiosity. Well people say they are bigger. And the contrast of black skin on white in those pornos is actually hot. And one beautiful night, that last of my taboos fell as well.
And for the next several years, I couldn't get enough. A once young boy, who swore it would never happen...I had laid down before at least 20 men. Given them my most intimate place. Enjoyed such excitement and awesome pleasure nearly every time.
So what's my point - like you, I started out the exact same way. Straight porn. Focused on the dick, then gay porn, and then chat, and there you have my story.
What does it mean? If you're like me, you're fighting...saying, there's no WAY. It's disgusting. But I would be willing to bet, if you took time to get to know someone gay, personally, I mean talk to them, hang out with them, befriend them...the concept of sharing a bed with another man wouldn't be nearly as revolting to you, and in fact, in not taking that chance, you're robbing yourself of an experience you'd most definitely enjoy.
They're not all swine and just aiming for your body. Many are just nice guys looking for friends who, surely, have their carnal desires too. And if you mutually agree to go that far, to share that with them, I say you'd be glad you did.
So where am I now? Married - to a woman. After all that. And I don't regret my experiences at all. No my wife does not know, because I think it would be too much for her to handle. And how relevant is it to us now? It's not. And I don't cheat. Don't chat. But sometimes I have a fondness for the excitement of it, the tingle that came with meeting a new person. Seeing their boxers slide down in front of me for the first time. The feeling of a pulsating thick cock in my mouth or hand, or ass But I have those experiences with me, and I'm glad I had them.
Open your mind a little, and don't write it off as impossible. But don't get stuck with a label either. I'm married to a woman and still not 100% sure just what I am. Whatever you do, good luck and have fun along the way.
But by the time I was about 19, the internet really became space age and allowed pictures :wink: So we're talking about 1997...and I would be watching straight porn, like I was "supposed" to. But I'd be fascinated by these impossibly large cocks, and really kind of in awe of these somehow powerful men, and I was attracted to it.
And then I started foraying into gay porn, and found myself admitting, hey some of this is pretty hot too. And then curiosity started taking hold...and with the advent of gay chat sites, I said eh, this is gonna be stupid. But then there was a chat room in my area, and I live in a college town.
And then people saw me, 19 and more attractive then, and were very interested. And so it worked on me, until I finally agreed to meet someone. Just a blowjob...nothing more. And there I was, him taking my pants down, feeling his warm wet mouth, rock hard, and then bliss. And I cried all the way home. I felt horrible at what I had done. But later, I was incredibly aroused by it and knew I'd be doing it again.
Back to the chat room...chat with more suitors, and then more curiosity...what would it be like to suck one? It can't be as bad as what guys do for women...guys can wash theirs. And my next guy encouraged me...yes it's clean... I did it for you... no I won't cum in your mouth...and the fall of another wall - my lips were giving way to another man, inside my mouth.
Curiousity grows more...hey you know, being with guys feels great, even if it's a little weird, and hey I don't have a woman. And nobody knows! How awesome! I don't have to tell anyone! On to another guy - hey if feels good if you stick a finger in there when you cum, did you know that? No - but it hurts doesn't it...no, maybe at first, but I'll put spit on it first. And again, my curiouslty got the best of me. And I had the best orgasm yet, with another man, and with a finger in my virgin ass.
By this time, I had found a friend. A boy I really cared about. And he was making me feel wonderful. And we are nude and he's on top of me and he tells me again that he wants me. He wants THAT. My virginity. But that's gay! And it's so WRONG!
But we're so hard...and so passionate. And I care about this boy. But I'm scared. (Don't be, I won't hurt you) It's going to hurt (a little at first, but it's wonderful).
And I fret more, but then reason, if I'm going to do something so wrong, I want it to be with someone I feel so right being with. And that night, I shed the last of my hangups, the last of my defenses why, the last of my concern.
Yes.
Fifteen minutes later, I had finished what I just knew would never happen. I'd waved aside fears, gritted teeth, done my moaning, and felt so full. So stretched and yet every inch of my insides burned with pleasure. The image of this beautiful boy above me, watching his stomach muscles contracting on his thrusts. Glorious release. I'd given my body to another man. And again, I cried, but at the same time felt so amazing.
And then the last taboo, black men...my dad always raised me in a racist fashion. I wasn't myself, but there's no way. But then, I met a nice black guy...very attractive body. And I reason, well if he was white you would. And then more curiosity. Well people say they are bigger. And the contrast of black skin on white in those pornos is actually hot. And one beautiful night, that last of my taboos fell as well.
And for the next several years, I couldn't get enough. A once young boy, who swore it would never happen...I had laid down before at least 20 men. Given them my most intimate place. Enjoyed such excitement and awesome pleasure nearly every time.
So what's my point - like you, I started out the exact same way. Straight porn. Focused on the dick, then gay porn, and then chat, and there you have my story.
What does it mean? If you're like me, you're fighting...saying, there's no WAY. It's disgusting. But I would be willing to bet, if you took time to get to know someone gay, personally, I mean talk to them, hang out with them, befriend them...the concept of sharing a bed with another man wouldn't be nearly as revolting to you, and in fact, in not taking that chance, you're robbing yourself of an experience you'd most definitely enjoy.
They're not all swine and just aiming for your body. Many are just nice guys looking for friends who, surely, have their carnal desires too. And if you mutually agree to go that far, to share that with them, I say you'd be glad you did.
So where am I now? Married - to a woman. After all that. And I don't regret my experiences at all. No my wife does not know, because I think it would be too much for her to handle. And how relevant is it to us now? It's not. And I don't cheat. Don't chat. But sometimes I have a fondness for the excitement of it, the tingle that came with meeting a new person. Seeing their boxers slide down in front of me for the first time. The feeling of a pulsating thick cock in my mouth or hand, or ass
But I have those experiences with me, and I'm glad I had them.Open your mind a little, and don't write it off as impossible. But don't get stuck with a label either. I'm married to a woman and still not 100% sure just what I am. Whatever you do, good luck and have fun along the way.
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Hey man I totally feel where u are coming from. I feel like I am in the same situtation. I am attracted to men and women, but love to make out with guys and have had sex with a few..as a top..but when I have sex with women its never as good or i feel like i dont really enjoy myself. So I feel ya in being confused
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