Ever since I've entered the school system, I've always been an unorganized, lazy asshole. I remember the first time I got caught slacking--I was in first grade and my teacher asked us to write some stuff in our books. It was classwork basically, writing down words or something. I would always set my tacky black and white composition book standing up on the table so the teacher couldn't see what I was writing. After maybe the 5th day doing this, the teacher stomped her way over to me and snatched my book. She found nothing but blank pages. I got bitched out.
I remember in middle school the same thing happened but to a larger scale. Instead of missing 10 dinky words, it was like 4 pages. I got chewed out like no other, the teacher, in her own words, said "You are the worst student I have ever had in my entire life. This is disgraceful, I am disgusted". She looked like she was about to cry. I felt terrible for her more than myself.
High school, new tactics, same bullshit. Almost flunked out but I managed graduating on time.
Now in college, I find myself in the same situation. I've acknowledged my problem(s) for a while, but I can't seem to fix them permanently. Some semester I've done really well, most not that great and some really bad. How the fuck can I really set myself straight? This is a life-long issue. The most depressing part is that I know that I'm a much more capable person than half of the assholes I attend college with. I just can't get organized. I can't break out of this horrible habit that will surely be the end of me if I don't do anything about it. This is the equivalent of trying to turn a morbidly obese person into a healthy, fit one. It's possible but very hard. What should I do?
I remember in middle school the same thing happened but to a larger scale. Instead of missing 10 dinky words, it was like 4 pages. I got chewed out like no other, the teacher, in her own words, said "You are the worst student I have ever had in my entire life. This is disgraceful, I am disgusted". She looked like she was about to cry. I felt terrible for her more than myself.
High school, new tactics, same bullshit. Almost flunked out but I managed graduating on time.
Now in college, I find myself in the same situation. I've acknowledged my problem(s) for a while, but I can't seem to fix them permanently. Some semester I've done really well, most not that great and some really bad. How the fuck can I really set myself straight? This is a life-long issue. The most depressing part is that I know that I'm a much more capable person than half of the assholes I attend college with. I just can't get organized. I can't break out of this horrible habit that will surely be the end of me if I don't do anything about it. This is the equivalent of trying to turn a morbidly obese person into a healthy, fit one. It's possible but very hard. What should I do?