Am I gay if....

[bighornso]

So I am confused and hope someone can help. Here is my situation:

I have been married for 3 years now and we frequently have sex which is fun; however, I have also been messing around with guys on the side mainly to receive oral. With guys, I usually like to have my cock sucked, balls licked, ass rimmed. I do not get turned on watching porn in which guys are fucking nor do I ever get turned on by thinking about fucking or getting fucked by a guy. I do enjoy making out with guys if chemistry is right but I dont like making out with my wife. I like to check out guys and picture them naked or what their cock looks like. What would I consider myself? Please enlighten me with your thoughts.

 

[Lambycake]

You know what you like and what you dont like and probably know the answer to your question already. What anybody else thinks is immaterial.

 

[bighornso]

Honestly, I am just very confused.

 

[unabear09]

sounds like you like getting your dick sucked and your ass rimmed (just guessing something that the wife doesn't do or doesn't do often).

The making out thing is a bit odd (but to be honest when I think about making out with anyone, I get kinda grossed out....its the germs <I have OCD>), but to each their own.

I don't approve of the cheating on the wifey (not that you are seeking my approval). If I were her, I'd rather you come right out and tell me that you're dicking around than to have you lie to me. Also, its a really shit thing to do to your spouse...you are exposing them to diseases and being dishonest.

 

[Infernal]

Who cares about the label, just be honest with yourself. If it feels good, then do it, but don't do it if someone else is going to get hurt.

 

[bighornso]

I comepletely understand what you mean by not cheating on the wifey. I have been good for the past 3 months and I hope to continue. Even when I use to mess around it was very rare. 10 or less times a year.

 

[OCMuscleJock]

why does it have to be classified? Maybe you're just sexual. You'd probably like your wife to do those things to you...or any other woman. HOWEVER, it's pretty damn easy to get a gay fella to do it. Lots of guys are online looking to service without reciprocation, so why not. YAH, Unabear09 is right about it being kinda wrong to be cheating, unless there is an understanding with the wife about being an open relationship. Back to the question tho... no it doesn't make you gay... just makes you more open sexually. Too many people try to put people into categories when they do not know the issues or realities of the action. NOW if you were seeking a RELATIONSHIP with a guy then that would put you in the gay/bi category.

 

[phoenixdown117]

Dan Savage's take on this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajR9PLvN73k

I agree with everything that's been said on here already. Labels are just labels. They don't define who you are. Sometimes there are people, men or women, who you just click with (aka chemistry). It doesn't make you any less straight.

For the kissing thing, is there something about how she kisses you that is off-putting? Maybe the guys you've made out with just kiss in a way that works for you.

If your wife isn't satisfying you sexually, you might want to be open to her about it so she can accommodate your needs, much like you would for her (right?). You could say "You know what really turns me on? If you lick my balls while you suck me." rather than saying "You suck at giving head." Just an example. Turn a negative into a positive. Same advice goes with the kissing thing.

 

[cklover]

OF COURSE you're gay gay gay! You're just kidding yourself otherwise...desperately hoping to hold on to your 'straight' status, societal approval, etc. Keep up that kissin' and you'll be in love with a man before you know it. But in the meanwhile, you can still enjoy being the fantasy of many gay men who so want to believe they've bagged a straight one.:tongue:

 

[1NiceRod]

why does it have to be classified? Maybe you're just sexual. You'd probably like your wife to do those things to you...or any other woman. HOWEVER, it's pretty damn easy to get a gay fella to do it. Lots of guys are online looking to service without reciprocation, so why not. YAH, Unabear09 is right about it being kinda wrong to be cheating, unless there is an understanding with the wife about being an open relationship. Back to the question tho... no it doesn't make you gay... just makes you more open sexually. Too many people try to put people into categories when they do not know the issues or realities of the action. NOW if you were seeking a RELATIONSHIP with a guy then that would put you in the gay/bi category.

I couldn't have said it any better.

 

[zpacifico]

OF COURSE you're gay gay gay! You're just kidding yourself otherwise...desperately hoping to hold on to your 'straight' status, societal approval, etc. Keep up that kissin' and you'll be in love with a man before you know it. But in the meanwhile, you can still enjoy being the fantasy of many gay men who so want to believe they've bagged a straight one.:tongue:

so brutally honest

 

[D_cw5yea]

I wouldn't consider myself sraight at this point, maybe slightly bent would be more appropriate. Nude guys turn you on...so what enjoy it but don't kid yourself.

 

[erratic]

I have also been messing around with guys on the side mainly to receive oral. Gay

With guys, I usually like to have my cock sucked, balls licked, ass rimmed. Gay

I do not get turned on watching porn in which guys are fucking nor do I ever get turned on by thinking about fucking or getting fucked by a guy. Some homos are like that.

I do enjoy making out with guys Gay

I dont like making out with my wife. Gay

I like to check out guys and picture them naked or what their cock looks like. Gay

I agree with the other guys that labeling is tired and often unhelpful, but you asked, OP.

Fucking around with men is gay, whether dicks end up in asses or not. Anal sex is not a required element of being gay. Putting a dick in a guy's mouth is just as gay as putting a dick in a guy's ass. Full stop.
Also, in my opinion, cheating on your wife "ten or less times a year" is not "very rare". Good on you for being faithful for the last three months, but you, sir, have some shit to sort out. Some very gay shit.

Also, if you are only cheating on your wife with men...in my opinion (again, since that's what you asked for) you are absolutely not "straight". Doesn't mean you're 100% flaming gay, or even 50/50 bi, but when you cheat on your wife up to ten times a year with other men you forfeit your right to pretend you're straight.

 

[rob_]

You MIGHT be gay.
But you are DEFINITELY a cheating pig.

 

[curioustitan]

To echo the sentiments of most of the people on this thread.... You definitely owe it to your wife to be honest regarding your experimentation..... Perhaps you've had feelings like this that have up until now been repressed. Feelings like this are like a "sticky jizz" cauldron threatening to boil over and ruin everything unless dealt with.... which you seem to be doing... but in a clandestine manner.
Telling your wife may seem brutal now, but in the long term it will save her heartache and uncertainty.... 'was it my fault' 'wasn't i giving enough' 'wasn't i adventurous enough' 'was it something i said' '...or didn't say' 'was it something i did' '...or didn't do' ... you know, the kind of sexual misgivings and doubt that could potentially ruin her for someone possibly better suited emotionally and sexually.... Just bite the bullet (or cock) and do it!

"I love sam_solo26"

 

[laser90]

Homosexuality, having sex with the same sex

Hetrosexuality, having sex with the opposite sex.

Your doing both so your

Bisexuality, having sex with both same sex and opposite sex.

The interesting fact is that few people are 100% gay/straight.

Bottom line is ...it's all about the person and how much you love them, get a long with them and enjoy their company. It does not matter if they are a man or a women.

As Ricky Ricado who say....Lucy you got some expaining to do!

Do the right thing if you continue to play with men and confide in your wife about it.

 

[bobbydrizzle]

Dude, you're totally gay. You need to accept it and move on. Stop what you're doing, go look at yourself in the mirror, and say "I am gay". Go ahead and update your profile. I'm thinking 70% gay/30% straight.

 

[Charles Finn]

your bi
go have fun and be honest with your wife

 

[crescendo69]

Homosexuality, having sex with the same sex

Hetrosexuality, having sex with the opposite sex.

Your doing both so your

Bisexuality , having sex with both same sex and opposite sex.

The interesting fact is that few people are 100% gay/straight.

Bottom line is ...it's all about the person and how much you love them, get a long with them and enjoy their company. It does not matter if they are a man or a women.

As Ricky Ricado who say....Lucy you got some expaining to do!

Do the right thing if you continue to play with men and confide in your wife about it.

your bi
go have fun and be honest with your wife

And we have two winners to the daily question.:biggrin1:

 

[iian1972]

Your a scum bag for cheating on your wife, I have no problem with your sexuality, but be fair to your wife first. Your a cheating liar