Am I gay if....

[Guardian100]

Honestly, I am just very confused.

Because you're trying to put a man made label on your self, you shouldn't look to other people to tell you how you should feel, like the poster earlier said you are what you are.

 

[Jason]

Your a scum bag for cheating on your wife, I have no problem with your sexuality, but be fair to your wife first. Your a cheating liar

I don't think this is quite right.

I'm not condoning cheating. But I don't see a full and frank admission to the wife as necessarily the way forward. How is she supposed to deal with the information?

I suggest the cheating needs to stop - that isn't fair. But telling about past infidelities with guys isn't going to achieve anything useful. The OP might need to decide over the months and years that follow whether he is gay (or bi, or whatever). If he is gay he might still want to continue married and in a relationship that is about far more than sex (and he might want to not burden his wife with the information). Or he might feel otherwise. But hasten slowly.

 

[tallandhung]

why does it have to be classified? Maybe you're just sexual. You'd probably like your wife to do those things to you...or any other woman. HOWEVER, it's pretty damn easy to get a gay fella to do it. Lots of guys are online looking to service without reciprocation, so why not. YAH, Unabear09 is right about it being kinda wrong to be cheating, unless there is an understanding with the wife about being an open relationship. Back to the question tho... no it doesn't make you gay... just makes you more open sexually. Too many people try to put people into categories when they do not know the issues or realities of the action. NOW if you were seeking a RELATIONSHIP with a guy then that would put you in the gay/bi category.

OCMuscle., I really enjoy your mature sounding reply to Bigmanso asking if he were gay if he cheated on wife of 3 yrs. I share his feelings. Am enlightened by yr response to him. What makes your reply most heartening is that you are so sexy !!

by from FL,
tallandhung

 

[iian1972]

I don't think this is quite right.

I'm not condoning cheating. But I don't see a full and frank admission to the wife as necessarily the way forward. How is she supposed to deal with the information?

I suggest the cheating needs to stop - that isn't fair. But telling about past infidelities with guys isn't going to achieve anything useful. The OP might need to decide over the months and years that follow whether he is gay (or bi, or whatever). If he is gay he might still want to continue married and in a relationship that is about far more than sex (and he might want to not burden his wife with the information). Or he might feel otherwise. But hasten slowly.

""I have been married for 3 years now and we frequently have sex which is fun; however, I have also been messing around with guys on the side mainly to receive oral""

Jas his words are above, its not something from the past, he is doing it now. Thats cheating and thats disgusting, he is cheating on a person that loves him and trusts him.

 

[TopDudeFtl]

We always want to label ourselves & I hate the label situation. If you are married to a woman & having sex with her & you like to have sex (albeit oral) with men, you are bi. And you are behaving in a self-destructive manner by fucking around with guys while you are married. You need to be true to yourself as well as your wife. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Pecker Check]

Probably the only thing stranger than our need to attach labels to ourselves is our need to attach labels to others. I'd say you're a work in progress. You'll figure it out.

 

[HungThickProf]

OF COURSE you're gay gay gay! You're just kidding yourself otherwise...desperately hoping to hold on to your 'straight' status, societal approval, etc. Keep up that kissin' and you'll be in love with a man before you know it. But in the meanwhile, you can still enjoy being the fantasy of many gay men who so want to believe they've bagged a straight one.:tongue:

Maybe not necessarily gay, but I totally see what you mean.

You MIGHT be gay.
But you are DEFINITELY a cheating pig.

So true, so true...

LMAO to both posts...

Just to put it out there- Do we really have to do these threads? I mean, some of you married guys are bi and it's legit, and I get that. But the others- who the fuck are you fooling? The only reason you got married was to hide your gayness from everyone else because you thought you could suppress it. It's your sexuality, not your appetite. I mean, geez. Get a grip- and if you have to ask, then you know the answer. Stop trying the hold on to that comfort zone of heterosexuality. Because truth of the matter, you let go of all of that when you decided to step outside your marriage with another man. So you can tell yourself what you want to help you sleep at night, and the only reason you don't get turned on by seeing two guys fucking is because you're trying to lie to yourself. DEAL WITH IT!!!

P.S. not being mean, just accept you. And stop cheating on your wife- that shit is fucking dangerous. I swear, if I was a woman and married to a cheating bastard- he could give me the simplest STD to cure, and I'd still put a bullet in him. That shit is dangerous.

***By the way, all that I just posted was not directed solely to the OP, but to others as well... Not saying that he's gay- labels do suck, but if labels didn't exist, we'd all be hitting on men who weren't into guys- telling ourselves "Oh, he's just not sexual yet- he'll get there in time." Fuck that- the categories have to exist to an extent. It is what it is.

 

[B_BraxtonHartnabrig]

Your definitely gay (well, in the eyes of society)...how you define yourself may be different...the important thing is not your label, it is your selfishness...you are married, and having sex on the side; and its with a man...just think of all the pain that could cause the one that probably loves you, or the embarrassment you will cause her if your extracurricular activities were made public......

just keep that in your brain and let it marinate.

 

[remiel]

I'd say you're definitely bisexual, if anything. I'm the opposite though. I am attracted to men somewhat and like jerking off to huge cocks, but I don't really like actually hooking up with them because it's no where near as pleasurable as it is with a woman for me.

 

[Luvhmlrg]

First, I love the responses from everyone and the fact that they are opposed to you cheating on your wife. Very refreshing for a women to read.
Second, I think the only opinion regarding your sexuality that matters is yours...what do you see when you look in the mirror.
and third...stop being a jerk and tell your wife the truth, if she is okay with you having fun on the side great, but don't you care about her enough to be open and honest with her??

 

[Jason]

and third...stop being a jerk and tell your wife the truth, if she is okay with you having fun on the side great, but don't you care about her enough to be open and honest with her??

She will surely be devastated. Whether she will burst into tears or knee you in the nuts I cannot know.

The first thing to do - assuming you want to stay married - is stop the cheating. This is wrong. But once you have stopped, how are you helping her to tell her what you used to do? Aren't you just relieving your conscience? Wouldn't you be a self-centred and thoughtless so and so to (needlessly) tell the story of your past infidelities?

The scenario where you tell her what you are presently doing and she says "ok, that's fine, keep doing it" is so vanishingly remote that for all practical purposes it doesn't exist.

 

[helgaleena]

You MIGHT be gay.
But you are DEFINITELY a cheating pig.

You are a BI cheating pig. You like what you like, and possibly the 'forbidden fruit' aspect is what gets you off most. Gay is just a word which you need not be concerned with.

 

[Patchos]

Your a scum bag for cheating on your wife, I have no problem with your sexuality, but be fair to your wife first. Your a cheating liar

x2

 

[cockstroker]

In any case, it looks as if you're not exactly comfortable with the whole gay concept.
I mean, you make a point of giving us some pretty detailed info so we can assess you, but you also withdraw some info:

I have also been messing around with guys on the side mainly to receive oral. With guys, I usually like to have my cock sucked, balls licked, ass rimmed. I do not get turned on watching porn in which guys are fucking nor do I ever get turned on by thinking about fucking or getting fucked by a guy.

You tell us:
- what you like guys to do to you (give you head)
- what you do not like or want guys to do to you
- what you do not like or want to do to guys
but you don't tell us what you do want or like to do to guys. You make a point of saying you don't want to give or receive anal sex and you receive oral sex but you leave out whether or not you like or want to give it. Don't you like the answer to that?
All this puts you either in a passive (and I don't mean bottoming) or negative situation. It looks as if you're trying to make your relationships to blokes look like something that happens to you rather than something in which you are actively and positively involved. Is this a way of minimizing how gay you might be?
All in all, I'd agree you are confused. You probably still need to admit a few things about yourself to yourself.
My impression on reading your post is that in it you express more lust for men than you do for your wife. IMO it doesn't take a very gay man to get sucked off by a guy: I can imagine a butch sort who thinks of himself as 100% straight using another guy's mouth and thinking he's not gay at all because he is behaving in a macho way and giving his cock to someone else, not receiving someone else's cock. Men like sticking their wiener in holes, and sometimes any hole will do. Making out is very different, it's much more erotic in a way. If you like making out with men better than with your wife, then it may mean something.

 

[pablovian]

My version of the gay/straight label has not a whole lot to do with sex. I have sex with women most of the time, but sometimes I play with guys. But I know I could fall in love with a man and probably not really have that kind of love with a woman. Therefore although physically I am more straight than gay, I consider myself gay because of the gender I would develop more deep-loving feelings for.

 

[Wrat]

I would recommend thinking, for maybe just a minute, about somebody else besides yourself. People enter into marriages with the expectation that their partner will make at least some minimal effort to keep from pooping all over them. In a marriage situation your partner's feelings are important. You have disregarded that for the sake of exploring your own selfish reality. It's fine to be experimental, but it's best done at your own expense, not at the expense of your partner's feelings. You might think about whether your inability to cherish your spouse makes you a human being rather than being obsessed with your sexuality and pondering whether or not you are gay. I mean, who really cares if you're gay? It's a non-issue. I sure as hell don't! If I knew you I definately would care about whether you treat your wife like she was a member of your family.
You gotta care about people.

 

[OCMuscleJock]

OCMuscle., I really enjoy your mature sounding reply to Bigmanso asking if he were gay if he cheated on wife of 3 yrs. I share his feelings. Am enlightened by yr response to him. What makes your reply most heartening is that you are so sexy !!

by from FL,
tallandhung

thanks T&H!!

 

[Pitbull]

You are not straight.
Sounds very bi to me.

You are unfaithful and you should not downplay that.
10 times a year is no infrequent.
Your wife might consider once to be unacceptable.

How would you feel if she told you today that she had slept with 10 men in the past year?
And that it has been 30 men during the time of your marriage?
Upset?
Betrayed?

In advance don't make excuses that it was only oral.
How about 30 different men she gave blowjobs too?
feel any different?
And that you did not have sex with women is not any kind of justification
Many women absolutely freak out when they find out that the other person their spouse is cheating with is a man.

But you know all this.

Are you looking for help or people to tell you your behavior is OK?
Whether gay straight or bi - most people here will not judge that aspect of your behavior.

Dishonest?
Most people will not condone.
Confusion about sexual orientation is no justification to cheat on someone who loves you. It does not matter whether someone is in a committed heterosexual relationship or homosexual relationship. It is wrong.

If you are looking for help. People here will give advice but you probably need to see some kind of professional to help you deal with all of this.

Good luck.

 

[mattsrod7]

why would you marry if you've been with other guys the entire time

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

So I am confused and hope someone can help. Here is my situation:

I have been married for 3 years now and we frequently have sex which is fun; however, I have also been messing around with guys on the side mainly to receive oral. With guys, I usually like to have my cock sucked, balls licked, ass rimmed. I do not get turned on watching porn in which guys are fucking nor do I ever get turned on by thinking about fucking or getting fucked by a guy. I do enjoy making out with guys if chemistry is right but I dont like making out with my wife. I like to check out guys and picture them naked or what their cock looks like. What would I consider myself? Please enlighten me with your thoughts.

yes, you are gay