Am I gay or Bisexual?

eddiegfsmith

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I hope I don't offend anyone which is not my intention, just im going through something and I hope to get some advice, anything will be appreciated! Thanks in advance!

Im a 33 year old male, I've been with girls just about all my life. I was in love and been hurt many of time, but as of 10 years ago I would get oral from men from random men here and there (never did I think men were attractive in anyway shape or form). I never considered by self bi let alone gay. I just got out of this abusive 2 year relationship with my gf and now im starting to find men attractive and its freaking me out! but at the same time I also get attracted to women, just not as much as before because I think this whole men attraction is freaking me out! I don't see my self with a man short or long term in any relationship and I still see myself getting married/long term relationship with a women. Am I becoming Gay or Just Bi and I guess maybe I cant accept the fact that im attracted to men and women at the same time???? Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!
 

crushinonted

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It doesn't matter who's helping you get off. Having gay sex does not make you gay, just as having hetero sex doesn't make anyone straight. If you're sexually attracted to men AND women, I would say you're bi. Don't worry about labels and just do what feels right for you.
 

prulaiua

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Maybe you're discovering your bisexuality. But in your post, you mention that you don't see yourself in a long or short-term relationship whatsoever with a guy. Personally, I would take it as a good indicator. Having sex with a man doesn't make you gay, but falling in love with one makes you, in my opinion, at least bi. If you feel like you are also romantically attracted to guys, I think you could consider yourself as bisexual. If it's only about sex, I wouldn't worry too much if I were you ;-)
 
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It doesn't matter who's helping you get off. Having gay sex does not make you gay, just as having hetero sex doesn't make anyone straight. If you're sexually attracted to men AND women, I would say you're bi. Don't worry about labels and just do what feels right for you.

I quite agree! Don't make a problem of it!
 

eddiegfsmith

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Thanks for the advice guys! Gives me a little more insight, I've always been opened minded. Just when it hit me dead on, I freaked. I don't have the urge to pursue a Male, but as of now just going to keep my options open. I try to picture my self with a male in a relationship, I just dont see it. Kinda creeps me out, but the oral and mutual stroking is just so exciting.
 

dong-in-khakis

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honestly, sounds like you're bi.

Something else that happens in lots of situations in life, you stay around something (anything) long enough you can begin to like it. I'm doing things I never thought I'd do too.

You're not the only one doing this, rest assured. I'd be willing to bet that some of the biggest, coolest, manliest, straightest acting jocks you went to high school with have been with a man by now or will be before they reach the age of 40.

Most people are bi or gay even if they're not living it, it's just the truth. It might be freaking you out but don't let it, it happens every day!
 

Straighteightguy

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I am happily married but I dropped by an adult bookstore and I was watching a movie. Foolishly, I neglected to lock the door to my room and some guy slipped in and kissed me. I was shocked but it turned me on and I kissed him back. In a short time we had sex but I am not gay. I've learned that a hard dick in your mouth can be nice.
 

myChock

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I agree with everyone here, maybe you are now just discovering your bisexuality. And that's not a bad thing at all. For the longest time, I too only thought of myself as straight, and that was until I had my first threesome (MMF) back during my undergrad. I've always been open minded, and didn't think much of guys until that experience.

Honestly, it freaked me out at first, but that was the hottest sex I've ever had. Ever since then I've decided I do enjoy sex with both men and women, and there's nothing more or less to it. I also hate, hate labels all together, and I don't like to let it define me, but I can admit that I am bi, even though I'm not out about it...that's my business.

I think you should try it out so you know for sure. Just relax, and take your time with someone you trust. And from there you can decide if you like guys just for sex or more. Good luck, and don't stress about it too much. I believe everyone has a little bit of bi in them, and we all just figure it out along the way!
 

MisterSlave

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it sounds to me, that you fall somewhere in the Spectrum of: Bi-sexual. There are many members here on LPSG, that are bisexual. Sexuality is a spectrum that ranges flamboyantly out and totally GAY. . to ridgid hetero-sexual at the other end and all points in between.

If you consider yourself to be a (masculine) man, and these thoughts conflict you. . Just think of things this way. . Its YOUR life. . and no one makes the rules on how you live it but you. Who gives a shit, what other people think of you. If you like to suck off a dude. . or he sucks you off. . it is between you and him and no one else. . (its no one else's biz' what the 2 of you guys do.).

There are girls out there who like Bi-sex men. Some people make a distinction between sex and sexual activities and love and romance and separate them. In other words, yeah you could have a loving relationship with a Woman, yet have sex activities with men too. in an (open relationship), with your girl.

I would urge you to think about living life on your own terms and not about what other men or society say about Homo-erotic stuff. . Again.. Its about you and how you live YOUR life.

Hope that helps.

Mr. Slave.